[Kusinski] As I reported on ESPN 1000 just now… the shooting at Guaranteed Rate Field during a White Sox game was indeed an accidental discharge by one of the women “grazed” by the bullet. She reportedly snuck the gun in past metal detectors hiding it in the folds of her belly fat.

41 comments

1. Metal detectors can’t detect through fat? What??

2. America has peaked. What an incredible string of events.

3. Only thing to be said about this situation: What the hell?!

4. Well that is extremely disturbing

5. Yo mama so fat she could sneak a gun into guaranteed rate field

6. A sentence that truly can only be spoken about an American.

7. This is one of the greatest and most American news headlines in all of history. Fat people, gun crime, and baseball. All were missing is apple pie

8. #America

9. This is the most painfully American sentence I have ever read, and I’m from the south.

10. Makes more sense that she refused medical attention at the time then lol

11. Sort of like how I sneak my penis into baseball games by hiding it in my pubes.

12. I wonder how long she went with the I was shot by a stray bullet defense.

13. This is just… sad. wtf man.

14. This is the weirdest baseball adjacent story in a good couple seasons

15. this is the most american thing i’ve ever read in my life.

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17. why are you sneaking a gun into the game in the first place?

18. 🤨

19. So basically they just revealed to everyone that to get anything past a metal detector you just need a fat person? This sounds like odd information to let out there

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22. This is the least I have ever believed anything in my life

23. TIL fat rolls can be used as a silencer for your gun

24. I guess for safety reasons no more fat people allowed.

25. What the fuck is this story? A new twist every hour.

26. Makes sense that nobody heard that gun go off. Her belly fat was basically a makeshift silencer.

27. what the fuck

28. I am experiencing two starkly contrasting emotions as I read these words.

29. Are we sure she didn’t just forget it was in there?

30. First believed to have fired a mile away and now the lady hid it in her belly!

    This story gets wild by the day.

31. I figured that it was accidental and that it was snuck past security, but uh…. this was definitely not how I thought it got past. Wow.

32. Average American incident

33. “Yo, A’s, I’m really happy for you, I’ma let you finish, but the White Sox have one of the worst organizations of all time!

34. Welp, thanks to this *lovely woman* we’re now going to get cavity searched before ballgames

35. I find this so confusing. I saw a video of when the shooting supposedly happened and there was basically zero reaction from the crowd. Gunshots are loud, so one inside the park would get everyone’s attention, or at least should get noticed. If that video was real I’m skeptical about this explanation.

36. Now is a REALLY good time for someone to reply using that Bryce Harper “bug eyes” image from last night

37. And she’ll plead down to misdemeanor inducing panic and we’ll wonder why this stuff never stops happening.

38. >This post is about a serious matter, please refrain from jokes.

    Lol no it’s not.

39. she should be in jail

40. This might be the most American thing ever. Gun? Check. Obesity? Check. Baseball? Check. Murica.

41. This is peak America. Smuggling a gun in your fat rolls into a baseball game and then accidently shooting yourself with it? Nobody can ever do anything more American than this.