THE CINCINNATI BENGALS VS THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS WEEK 1 SIMULATION COMMENTATED BY TRUMP AND BIDEN!

THE CINCINNATI BENGALS VS THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS WEEK 1 SIMULATION COMMENTATED BY TRUMP AND BIDEN!

hey guys the NFL asked me to commentate this week one game so I happily agreed to it it’s between the Bengals and Patriots dang sleepy Joe that took you long enough you didn’t even introduce me but thankfully just like your presidency both have came to an end as always Donald you’re quick to jump the gun I was going to introduce you we also have a third person here your name’s Peter right yeah I was told Cleveland would be here and I would get beer for this who are you guys again don’t worry Peter sleepy Joe asked that question every day to himself in the mirror Donald please behave this is for the NFL we need to stay on topic kind of surprised you know what a topic is anymore this is already a circus like your presidency anyway Donald Zach Moss ran the ball there for about seven yards at the first run by Zach Moss is a Bengal of the Bengals personally I’m a Chase Brown fan myself but yeah it wasn’t a bad run we will see how this Patriots defense can play they were the four against the run last year it’s almost like they are wall you know to protect things Joe Donald can we please keep this to just football related and stuff it’s getting a little out of hand already you’re right Joe let’s talk about the Bengals offensive line numbers last year Donald I feel like this isn’t going to be football related trust me sleepy Joe it is they were ranked 27th in the NFL you can say they pretty much let everyone in reminds me of your offensive line in Texas bringing this back to football Donald this offseason the Bengals signed a new right tackle to protect Joe Burrow’s right side they did and it was a smart investment for the Bengals sometimes you got to move on for people who don’t work well for your team Like We Will in November I don’t really know what to say at this point don’t worry Peter neither does Joe anyway the Bengals got a new punter this off season after a poor rookie season but Brad Robbins last year that’s right sleepy Joe his name is Austin and surprisingly enough he is from the great state of Texas correct Donald well after a three andout drive for the Bengals we get to see our first look at the Patriots first- round pick Drake May Drake May played three seasons at North Carolina before entering the NFL man had a rough first year but really took off his final two years at the program that’s correct Donald but the Bengals have struggled against rookie quarterbacks though the Bengals are actually 351 against rookie quarterbacks in the last four years not to one up you sleepy Joe but you can even go back farther than that over the last eight years the Bengals are 7141 they definitely struggle a lot against rookie quarterbacks kind of like you walking up a flight of stairs um hello I was told to call into this show Joe did you honestly call Homer Simpson to help defend you no Donald like your hairpiece Homer is a fictional character I would have no way of doing that my fault guys I butt dialed him I don’t really see why I’m here it just sounds like two old white dudes yelling in a retirement home like not to offend either of you but you guys make zero sense with the half the stuff you say honestly the fat man has a point on this one guys what is even going on here let’s just get back to football the Patriots got stopped three and out right there a great stop by the Bengals defense okay the Patriots are ping the ball here their punter is going into a second year in the NFL he played four years at Michigan State Donald you don’t need to go into the background of the punter no one cares about his college career kind of like how for a solid 30 years your background was you doing nothing honestly with all due respect Mr President you kind of set that one up for an easy dunk anyway Bengals will be starting here at their own 30 yard line Run play here to the right hand side by Zach Moss but he doesn’t pick up any yards Chase Brown would have gotten at least one yard there Donald you’re supposed to be an unbiased commentator you can’t say stuff like that just like how the voting system in America is supposed to be unbiased as well am I right sleepy Joe [Music] damn I don’t even know why I accepted to do this this is a mess already are you talking about being president or commentating this game because that sentence applies to both statements anyway Chase just made a great play right there that’s going to be a gain of 23 the biggest play of the game so far now into Patriots territory the Bengals try to run with moss again losing one yard on the play I could have predicted that now a penalty on the Bengals for a false start this game so far has looked like your presidency so far sleepy Joe a long time but nothing is happening Donald the Bengals are having a good drive right here this is about to get good well second down and long is it looking good at this moment well let’s see how this play goes down weird how randomly the refs got involved in this game right after you said that sleepy Joe I guess you can’t take the fraud out the man come on Donald do you really think I have the power to sway a game I’m not Goodell after this last election nothing surprises me anymore let’s give our Super Bowl predictions Donald trying to change the topic not surprising at all but if I had to give one I say I think the Bengals will beat the lions in the Super Bowl I’m just trying to keep it about football Donald but I would go with the Chiefs beating the 49 errors again okay let’s make this about football then I see myself as the Bengals and you as the Chiefs the Bengals always beat the Chiefs unless the refs help them but yet the Chiefs continue to win and everyone continues to hate them and they know without help they would never beat the Bengals I’m really starting to think this isn’t about football anymore but if I had to give my prediction I would say it’s the Patriots beat Falcons Peter that is a great prediction I see you’re going a little into be a homer right there but a third down along converter right there by Irwin great play by burrow keeping his eyes down the field and making that play we might actually see a score off this drive finally I’m starting to actually be entertained by this game I’ll be honest this game might end with a seven to nothing score but hey at least we were able to commentate it your first actual legit win it seems but it better not I might fall asleep before it’s over we need work on the game of the week next week I actually canel a tour for this game all right Donald I was told to come in here to calm you down dang Joe you really brought Obama in here to defend you wasn’t even my decision to bring him in guys CBS Sports called me up to talk about this show so far the ratings are absolutely trash can we please please bring this back to being football related this sounds like a knockoff town hall meeting I’m pretty sure this game has offended everyone so far Jim Carry everyone honestly I love your movies but CBS Sports should have accepted this when they brought us on like at the end of the day there’s no way this would have been civilized but honestly with how this game is going this should boost ratings I don’t usually agree with Donald but he has a point if you have watched any Town Hall this is usually how it goes honestly I’m more surprised we haven’t cut each other off so far at this point we have Let each other talk like adults hey guys will’ll he I can personally say this game has been more entertaining than any other football game I’ve have ever seen you two bicker like three-year-old children honestly in another life you guys could have been an old married couple so at this point this is just a call-in show at the moment hang on I have someone I want to call Donald why did you call me you texted me this was super urgent but I’m starting to think it’s not just read the text I sent you guys the Bengals are still playing a football game at the moment I feel like we should be talking about that they are about to score a touchdown Donald all you wrote on the text was the words Hunter does blow over and over again it doesn’t even make sense Morgan you’re supposed to just read that part of the text not the full text also Homer have you seen the pace of this game the world’s going to end by the time someone scores Donald that’s low even for you don’t bring my brother into this this is a football game not a roast battle back and forth here we need to take a step back and calm down everyone did someone say roast battle and now Slim Shady has entered the building but no sadly Marshall sleepy Joe is trying to silence everyone per usual the man can’t take the heat at all don’t even start this Donald I’m trying to make sure we can commentate the game next week at this rate we won’t ever be commentating a game ever again yeah I’m not sure who decided to let you guys lead this game today I’m not for firing people but someone needs to be I ran a whole show about firing people touchdown Drew sample by the way finally someone scores shout out to Drew we finally have something interesting to talk about actually this offseason they moved him to fullback actually yeah it might have been the best move of the off season it worked out pretty well in the end you better not even start to disrespect Dax like that Dax moving to Corner was the best decision by far I’m just saying I feel like sample should have been fullback a couple seasons ago at the combine he was listed as a fullback Dax is going to be very good this season but Drew has proven himself already hey guys I’d like to thank you for having me on the show today who leted Alec Baldwin on this program Donald are you still butt hurt that I play you on Saturday Night Live you really need to learn how to take a joke and stop being so egotistical yeah Donald you need to relax a bit realize it’s a joke first off Joe you being president is like a character on Saturday Night Live but at the end of the day I don’t care Alec I just feel like you do a bad job wait I found out we can fast forward this game wait hold on Donald this is a live game though oh wait never mind this is actually pretty cool we can skip until something actually happens but don’t go to Crazy Donald and most skip to the end of the first quarter hey guys me again just want to thank you guys for keeping it a little more on topic just keep going that direction moving forward and we will be fine also you guys will be on the next game as long as the comment section approves of it and at the end of the first the score is 7 nothing Bengals I have never seen such a boring first quarter to be honest I promise this second quarter will be a lot better than the first like most promises you make I highly doubt it will end well Donald we are not going to keep doing this the whole game we need to actually talk about this football game what’s your final prediction of this game mindes Bengals 35 to5 yeah yeah yeah yeah sleepy Joe I’m G to talk about the game as much as I want to they knew what would happen when they asked me to come on here in defense of CBS Sports I’m only watching because Trump is on here I wouldn’t be watching this game if not for that to be honest there’s been seven points in the game so far it’s pretty damn bad see me being on here just boost ratings if you had sleepy Joe by himself it would be a snooze Fest but at the end of the day the Bengals will probably win by 10 points this game will hopefully pick up in the second half so I was told to come on uh to give my take on this game uh but honestly the game just seems very boring so instead I wanted to ask Joe if he ever played football before that’s actually a funny question Arnold I have played actually I used to be a defensive back back in high school I was actually pretty good to be honest they called me shutdown Joe I was the Jaylen Ramsey of my high school actually actually I had six interceptions in one game sleepy Joe I think you misheard them they probably said shut up Joe all you do is blabber non-stop No One Believes you played football before you’re so skinny and fragile someone would truck you through a wall first off Donald I said in high school I played not nowadays I was a lot more mobile back in my youth second off I was very popular in high school people actually like me a lot I was a very nice and outgoing guy whatever you say sleepy Joe so what makes you like the Chiefs so much aren’t you from Delaware the Chiefs have a great roster they are also winners I wouldn’t say I’m a bandwagon fan but also keep in mind Delaware doesn’t have a football team most people who live in Delaware are either Eagles or Steelers fans or Ravens fans okay FairPoint I guess we will see if that changes after this season if you change your favorite team next year we will have another talk although I’ll be a little busy next year you most likely won’t be okay I have to admit I might have been wrong about this second quarter the second quarter so far is boring as heck wait the Bengals play the Chiefs next week so that should be actually entertaining the Chiefs just lost to the Ravens on Thursday yeah honestly for the first time I can’t even blame you for this one I was actually hoping you were right about this one but so far this is a very big defensive game this has a AFC North type of mentality this game I will say overall wise the refs have been pretty good today I will say you guys are doing a lot better so far but yeah this game is a bit slow not sure why the Bengals aren’t able to move the ball usually these seasons start out kind of fast but today’s it’s actually going kind of slow to be honest at this point we might as well well just start doing random Callins to make this broadcast a bit more entertaining don’t get me wrong I love yelling at sleepy Joe but even I only have so much in me here hello it’s me Batman I want to say thank you guys for making this game actually entertaining it has made the game a lot more tolerable to be honest of course the first person Trump would allow to call in would be a billionaire Joe we have had a lot of Callin so far today it’s not just billionaires it’s also regular individuals Batman isn’t even real so let’s not push that envelope anymore Joe the positive in all this is the Bengals are about to score hopefully that means the patriots feel encouraged to do the same at this point knowing you somehow the Bengals won’t score now you just Jinx the Bengals sleepy Joe you need to realize not to speak to soon Joey thank you for letting me call back in guys I’ll be honest I’m not sure why they don’t put you guys on every single game I feel like it’s because then people wouldn’t do anything other than watch football 24/7 also unlike Joe I have a country to run in the near future so I can’t allocate that much time I’m a very busy man although I disagree with Donald’s comments I AG I’m also very busy as well as the president I have thousands of things I have to do every second but I will say I’d love to be on any game in the future as long as I have time to do it so I was thinking you guys should play in a game maybe take one snap at kicker or punter the ratings would go through the roof especially if the election was decided by a 50 yard field goal I’m sure how it works in South Park but in America elections can change the future of this country I’ll be honest I probably make the field goal anyway sleepy Joe would probably break a hip if he even tried to kick a field goal Donald I could easily kick that 50- yard field goal I was the Justin Tucker before Justin Tucker was a thing so let’s do it this election will be decided by a 50- yard field goal winner becomes president of the United States um I’m guys I hate to be that guy but you can’t actually do that without me being your holder let’s get it first off sleepy Joe I don’t know why you would even accept this challenge there’s no way you could come close to kicking that field goal for obvious reasons after that 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THE CINCINNATI BENGALS VS THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS WEEK 1 SIMULATION COMMENTATED BY TRUMP AND BIDEN!

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