Miami Dolphins Vs Indianapolis Colts Week 1 Recap……WE SUCK!

Miami Dolphins Vs Indianapolis Colts Week 1 Recap……WE SUCK!

I don’t think that could have gone any worse. [Music] What is up, Finn fans? I am sorry you guys had to watch that game cuz holy crap was it putrid. Absolutely disgusting. And I’m going to talk about it. Unfortunately, I’m going to talk about all of it. It was bad. It was real, real bad. But you know what’s not real bad? Our sponsor, Sleeper. Go check them out. It’s the only bright spot on today is the way the Sleeper app worked. It was so much fun to go through it. I was going through it with the scores. You can do your overunder for cool different statistics. I got the pick them league. Go check it out. Link in the description. You get 100% up to on your first $100. But golly G Willickers, that was Oh, horrible. We’ll go into stats. I don’t even want to go into stats. Tua 14 for 23, one touchdown. Where’s the yards? Give me Give me yards. What are you doing? 14 out of 23, 114, one touchdown, two interceptions, a 51.7 complete uh passer rating. He was trashed with a capital T. Like so bad that you, you know, when you take the trash out and it like you made chicken that night or the night before, like you just put a new bag in and you made chicken, you had to cut the fat off the chicken, right? And then you put it in the trash, but it was the very new trash bag. Then you pile trash on top of it and then you open your trash to like throw something else out. You’re like and it’s the chicken on the bottom is just horrible and your trash is just wreaking. That’s how bad played. He played like trash. He was garbage. The worst I’ve seen with my eyes. I haven’t seen that bad quarterback play in a very long time. It was bad. Devon Han, seven carries for 55 yards, 70 yard r 78 yards rushing. Tyreek Hill, four catches for 40 yards. Jaylen Wadd, four catches for 30 yards. Devon Han, three for 20. He had the touchdown. He fought his butt off to get that touchdown. Big old fat garbage time touchdown. Tua also had a fumble that he lost because he doesn’t know how to contain the ball. We had one sack on the day. One sack on the day and it was from Bradley Chub. And it wasn’t even just Tua that was trash. The defense couldn’t stop anything. It couldn’t stop anything. Nothing. Zilch. Nada. Trash. The whole team was garbage. Daniel Jones 22 for 29, 272 yards and a touchdown. He was playing out of his mind. Jonathan Taylor 18 carries 71 yards. DJ Giddens 12 carries for for 41 yards. Daniel Jones, seven carries, 26 yards. He had two rushing touchdowns. Michael Pitman Jr., Six catches, 80 yards, and a touchdown. Tyler Warren, that I said, you got to watch out for him. Seven catches for 76 yards. You know who scooped up? You know who scooped up the fumble from two of Tonga? Xavon Howard. Xavon Howard. Oh, brother. This guy stinks. What is going on with this? I keep the soundboard. I’m keeping the soundboard plugged in. I’m going to incorporate it into the videos because god that suck. They had three sacks on the day. Nick Cross with the sack. Kenny Moore II with a sack and Samson I can’t I’m going to butcher his last name with a sack. Interceptions from Benham and Latu the defensive lineman got a sack. He dropped back into coverage and he and sorry not sack an interception and he intercepted to it. It was bad. Like bad. Every single one of the Colts drives ended in points. Every single drive ended in points. Total yards, the Colts had 418. The Dolphins had 211. First downs, the Colts had 27. And the Dolphins had 12. Penalties. Colts have more penalties. Third downs. Colts were 7 for 15. Dolphins are 5-10. Time of possession 38 minutes 43 seconds to 21 minutes and 17 seconds. Every single Colts drive ended in points. Tua played like hot garbage. Like I made the whole analogy. He played trash. The team garbage. Garbage. The defense. Where did the pass rush go? What happens? What happens? What was I saying all season long? If you don’t address the secondary, you got to have a pass rush. And I kept hearing people say, “Well, Doug, if the pass rush was really good, then the secondary wouldn’t be that big of a problem.” Where did the pass rush go? Why am I seeing Jaylen Phillips and Bradley Chub drop back into coverage? Why? It just There was a fourth down play. Let me see if I can find it. I took notes. Let me see if I can find it. There was a fourth down play. It was like fourth and one. Where is it? Fourth and one. And we had a Fatu Melanu covering the receiver, but the Fatu Melanu was in the middle of the field. The receiver was over here. It’s fourth and one. We send a blitz and if Malif was in the middle of the field receivers’s butt naked open off the snap, you just throw it to him. It wasn’t just the offense, it was the defense. You know what was good? You know what was good? Special teams. We’re very good at kick returning. I’m telling you that. D Estridge, Taj, we’re very good at that. Outside of that, h trash. Offense trash. Defense trash. Coaching trash. Mike McDaniel. I don’t give two farts out of a donkey’s butt. I just made that one up. If it’s game one, I don’t give a crap. I If I’m the owner of the Miami Dolphins and I after last year starting two and six, oh, they fall back in 62. I don’t give a crap. I after sitting down with Mike McDaniel and giving him another shot. I’m gonna give you another shot. You come out and you get mollywoped 30 to nothing cuz the three points and the eight points, they don’t mean nothing. 30 to nothing and you put that on the field, you’re fired. You’re gone. I’m firing Mike McDaniel. Now, if I’m Steven Ross, I am talking to Mike McDaniel and saying, “What was that? Are you kidding me? On offense, you get a penalty for 12 men in the huddle? How many times did we have to call a timeout?” Because we almost had a delay game. We should have had a delay game penalty. We should have had one, but of course, we got lucky there. Why are the play calls coming in so late? Like it is ridiculous. If you’re going to have motions, you need to get the play calls in a time so that the motion can happen and two it can still assess the defense. It’s been a problem for his whole tenure as the Dolphins head coach. Give up the play calling. He won’t. He’s stubborn. He won’t give up the play calling. Fire him. This team that I saw play football today. Now, obviously they can get better. Anything could change. all of a sudden they can get their heads out their butts. I’ve seen a a Cincinnati Bengel team do just as bad and all a sudden they play really well. Will they? Probably not. I don’t I’m not put any money on that one. But this team that got went on the field today, I don’t see them beating anyone this year. Not a one. Like I’m looking at the scores right now. Uh Pittsburgh is losing to the Jets 32 to 31. Uh New England’s losing to the Raiders 20 to10. At least New England could put 10 points up. Jets put up 32. They’re going to destroy us on Monday Night Football. Our defense couldn’t stop anything. It is bad. It is bad, bad, bad. I have no faith in this team. Zero faith in this team. And like, how do you come out week one and then the the jinx of all jinxes? Everyone talking about McDaniels never lost an opening game and the Colts haven’t won an opening game in 11 years and yada yada like the jinx of jinxes and then you come out and that’s what you put on the field. First quarter field goal interception. Second quarter touchdown, fumble, touchdown, punt, field goal. Third quarter, interception, field goal, turnover run downs. Fourth quarter touchdown. Hey scoring touchdown, field goal. End of game. Like I’m trying to give like bright spots, Doug. What is a bright spot you could say for this game? I like the way Ollie Gordon ran in this few snaps he got. He actually like fights hard and he’s hard to bring down and tackle. That Devon Han touchdown was really nice. It was like a fourth and 12 from the 12 yard line and uh I really liked how he fought to get that touchdown. Um, Brazil Douglas almost had an interception, so I feel a little bit better about him being in there. Outside of that, the secondary is getting torched. Thorn Duck was getting picked on. It’s another situation where I get told, you know, it’s just this, Doug. It’s just March. It’s just this. Don’t worry about it, Doug. Don’t. The secondary was a problem, man. We knew the secondary was a problem from Jump and the secondary was still a problem. We make stops and then like running into the kicker on Judon like come on fourth and whatever and they convert you know it’s it’s first and 30 we get a holding penalty on Ma Fitzpatrick and they get a first down which kick rocks on that. How are you going to negate a you give him an automatic first down like make it a five yard penalty and that’s it. Like kick rocks on that. What else are there? Oh, Tyreek Hill. Not going to knock him too much cuz the whole team sucked. But why is it every time there was a play that involved Tyreek Hill, he took himself out? Like that one pass down to like the six yardd line, he didn’t catch it and couldn’t get his foot down, he takes himself out. And then there’s another play where like they threw him the ball and then he takes himself out. Why does he keep taking himself out after every play that I see him on TV? One of them I thought he had a concussion, but like that’s like why does he keep taking himself out? Too many injury scares. like Storm Duck is probably done for the year. It looks like he um hurt his knee or his ankle. Jaylen Wall looked like he hurt his shoulder. Tyreek Hill, like I said, looked like he had a concussion, but he came back in. At one point, Tyler Warren, I think it was Tyler Warren, broke Brooks and another guy’s ankles. Two guy, two of our defenders just fell. like this is not how as a team that you retain your GM and you retain your head coach and status quo isn’t good enough and I don’t want you to think that we’re okay with the play on the field is not how you start the season. If we would have lost 33 to 30, 24 to whatever then fine. Like like the Jets are about to beat Pittsburgh because it’s fourth and 24 from Pittsburgh’s own 23. Um they’re probably going to punt it. Like I think the Jets are going to win and New England’s going to lose and then you got Buffalo tonight. Jets are going to be all up in their feelings as they should because they just beat the Steelers. Um hopefully this ages poorly, but it really looks like the Jets are probably going to beat the Steelers. You got the Saints over here only down seven against the Cardinals. Like and like we played like trash. There was no fight. There was no fight at halftime, man. Score was 24 nothing. 20 nothing at halftime. There’s no fight. And then you come out and you throw a dumb interception to it. I don’t know, man. Let’s see how they respond to the Patriots. But like I said in the live stream, uh tomorrow we’ll do a deeper dive even though I really don’t want to for I want to How about this positive? This is a positive 1,400 of you guys in the live stream even towards the end of the game like the last three four minutes of the game. 1,400 of you and we broke a thousand likes. Like you guys are amazing to hang out and I’m not going to stop doing this. Obviously this team is playing like garbage. Things could turn around. We never know. But um but like to still see you guys hang out in the lives means the world to me. I’m still going to be live on Mon on Sunday at 1:00, Thursday at 8:15, Monday the 29th at 7:50. I’m going to be live. I’m still going to do a deeper dive. I’m still going to do film breakdowns. I’m still giving you all the normal content. It’s just might be a little bit more angry than it usually will be. Uh I will say though with the the film breakdowns, if I get copyright claimed, which I hope I don’t, it’s going to be on Patreon. So, if you are a patron, look out for the film breakdowns. They’ll be on there every Tuesday. Um, but I’m going to upload it to the Patreon and I’m also going to upload it here on Tuesday. Hopefully, it doesn’t get copyright claimed. Um, we’ll see how that all pans out. But hey, man, week one. Let’s just keep saying that it’s only week one. Uh, bounce back. Let’s see how they respond to adversity. Love you all. Thank you so much for the support and hanging out. I will see you tomorrow. I’m going to take the day to just mentally decompress. Like usual, stay classy. Infants out.

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