Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, and might, in fact, be an idiot. OK, with that out of the way:

  • Tomlin has an insanely good 21-3-0 record on Monday Night, matched only by John Madden (11-1-1). No one else is even close.
  • Tomlin has an equally insanely bad 2-10-0 record on Thursday Night road games.
  • But it's only the road games: Tomlin is a pretty good 9-2-0 at home on Thursday.
  • Tomlin's winning percentage at home? .701, almost identical to Cowher (.703) and Noll (.702).
  • I can't find up-to-date stats on it, but according to this 2017 article, Tomlin's away record in the Eastern Time Zone is much, much better than Cowher and Noll (.638, .595, .409).
  • Again according to this 2017 article, Tomlin's away record NOT in the Eastern Time Zone is much, much worse than Cowher and Noll (.345, .429, .479)
  • Coming out of the bye, and all caught up on sleep? Tomlin is 15-4!

Diagnosis (not a doctor): Tomlin has Circadian Rhythm Disorder. Like Ryan Clark trying to play in Denver, Tomlin transforms from a genius into a quivering mess because of pure biology. It's not that he WANTS to make terrible 4th down decisions, or WANTS to not cover Jamarr Chase. Tomlin is just a sleepy lil' guy, and he CAN'T manage a game when he's tired.

Solution: Tomlin stays Head Coach, but only for games when he's feeling well rested. When he gets sleepy, we bring in Coach Micah Parsons, who apparently can fall asleep anywhere.

29 comments

  3. It’s not specifically a Tomlin thing when it comes to road games on Thursday night. Thursday night games favor the home team, this season so far, the road teams are 2-5 on Thursday night football.

  4. >WANTS to not cover Jamarr Chase

    Considering he and Higgins are each averaging almost 100 yards and a TD per game against the Steelers no matter the day of the week it does kind of feel like he wants to leave them open…

  5. Save this Nobel level of research for the off-season brother. Your research is wasted on us peasants.

  10. Additional hot take. Tomlin likes to use Vets on his teams. Vet are older and need more rest (hence vet rest days), Thursday games are normally a shorter week (unless they preceded by a bye). So when you are in a road Thursday games you lose another day traveling. So that leaves one day left to actually practice (Tuesday). That one day is not enough to really prep which means your choices are to push vets to practice more that week or give them the rest so they will be at least a little ready to play.

    In short the age of the players that the Steelers use means that short weeks, especially those that include traveling, are going to be much tougher to effectively prep for.

  11. thank you for this stellar insight, I’m in the process of becoming a resistered sleep tech and I concur with your findings!

  19. He did make a point to say he gets a nap in before the game on Thursday game days 🤔

  23. I was thinking more like early onset Alzheimer’s which explains the nonsensical rambling and regression in coaching fundamentals like the clock and game management. 

  24. Is this the House episode where House tried to figure out why the football team Foreman coaches is struggling?

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