you shouldve at least put a picture of steven wright with the red sox hat on
I saw Steven Wright live once, he walks out to start the show and says “my mother told me growing up never to talk to strangers…” and then walks off, actually starts the show 10 minutes later
Dave Coulier was my first thought.
Looks more like Sid Caesar.
i went to a store that had a sign, open 24 hours but the door was locked. i saw a guy and he said we’re closed. i said but the sign says open 24 hours. the guy said, not in a row
I walked by a diner, the sign said, Breakfast Anytime, I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
I bought a humidifier and a dehumidifier. Put ‘em in the same room, let ‘em fight it out.
I get Rob Thomas vibes from him
I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me…I pushed ‘1’ and he just stood there…I said ‘Hi, where you going?’ He said, ‘Phoenix.’ So I pushed Phoenix. A few seconds later the doors opened, two tumbleweeds blew in…we were in downtown Phoenix. I looked at him and said ‘You know, you’re the kind of guy I want to hang around with.’ We got into his car and drove out to his shack in the desert. Then the phone rang. He said ‘You get it.’ I picked it up and said ‘Hello?’…the other side said ‘Is this Steven Wright?’…I said ‘Yes…’ The guy said ‘Hi, I’m Mr. Jones, the student loan director from your bank…It seems you have missed your last 17 payments, and the university you attended said that they recieved none of the $17,000 we loaned you…we would just like to know what happened to the money?’ I said, ‘Mr. Jones, I’ll give it to you straight. I gave all of the money to my friend Slick, and with it he built a nuclear weapon…and I would appreciate it if you never called me again.
Got a parking ticket. Went to court the other day. Judge asked me, “How do you plead?” I said, “I plead insanity.” Judge looks at me and says “Insanity?!?” Yes, I said; “ Who in their right mind would’ve parked there?”
One time i picked up a hitchhiker, i looked at him and said buckle up i wanna try something
Steven Wrong
I have a map of the United States that’s actual size. When people ask me where I live, I say “E-5.”
I don’t know tone, it’s like the fuckin regularness of life is too fuckin much for me
Everywhere is “within walking distance” if you have the time.
26 comments
Look up Mike Malagies, he’s a Christian rapper.
https://preview.redd.it/4n1dpmwjddyf1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=48b7d636528d1751967ca2dee88fbb2004996b87
Corporate wants you to find the difference between these two pictures…
Last night I played poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Roman should be Steven for Halloween.
I went to the hardware store and bought batteries. But they weren’t included so I had to buy em again
I can’t not see it.
Steven Wright, but not the domestic abusive knuckle baller that was so fun until he wasn’t
https://i.redd.it/6rt0o79lgdyf1.gif
Why? Did he lose a button hole?
Roman “Bucky Goldstein” Anthony is too long of a nickname
https://preview.redd.it/hf6cpmh5jdyf1.jpeg?width=916&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=88d74a544f3f7529e6a7ba14d7d85075a7e5bcfe
Eh. Not really…
you shouldve at least put a picture of steven wright with the red sox hat on
I saw Steven Wright live once, he walks out to start the show and says “my mother told me growing up never to talk to strangers…” and then walks off, actually starts the show 10 minutes later
Dave Coulier was my first thought.
Looks more like Sid Caesar.
i went to a store that had a sign, open 24 hours but the door was locked. i saw a guy and he said we’re closed. i said but the sign says open 24 hours. the guy said, not in a row
I walked by a diner, the sign said, Breakfast Anytime, I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
I bought a humidifier and a dehumidifier. Put ‘em in the same room, let ‘em fight it out.
I get Rob Thomas vibes from him
I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me…I pushed ‘1’ and he just stood there…I said ‘Hi, where you going?’ He said, ‘Phoenix.’ So I pushed Phoenix. A few seconds later the doors opened, two tumbleweeds blew in…we were in downtown Phoenix. I looked at him and said ‘You know, you’re the kind of guy I want to hang around with.’ We got into his car and drove out to his shack in the desert. Then the phone rang. He said ‘You get it.’ I picked it up and said ‘Hello?’…the other side said ‘Is this Steven Wright?’…I said ‘Yes…’ The guy said ‘Hi, I’m Mr. Jones, the student loan director from your bank…It seems you have missed your last 17 payments, and the university you attended said that they recieved none of the $17,000 we loaned you…we would just like to know what happened to the money?’ I said, ‘Mr. Jones, I’ll give it to you straight. I gave all of the money to my friend Slick, and with it he built a nuclear weapon…and I would appreciate it if you never called me again.
Got a parking ticket. Went to court the other day. Judge asked me, “How do you plead?” I said, “I plead insanity.” Judge looks at me and says “Insanity?!?” Yes, I said; “ Who in their right mind would’ve parked there?”
One time i picked up a hitchhiker, i looked at him and said buckle up i wanna try something
Steven Wrong
I have a map of the United States that’s actual size. When people ask me where I live, I say “E-5.”
I don’t know tone, it’s like the fuckin regularness of life is too fuckin much for me
Everywhere is “within walking distance” if you have the time.