The Dallas Mavericks Will Not Ruin My Vacation – Slightly Biased Reacts

The Dallas Mavericks Will Not Ruin My Vacation – Slightly Biased Reacts

Our first full day in Paris started right on the train. Folks, there’s nothing better than a train ride. I’m such a big advocate for trains. Who wants to sit in a [ __ ] sixlane highway when they could be on a train? And look, you could do so much on train. You could watch your god-awful, horrific, horrendous basketball team play the game of basketball sitting there. Yeah, they are terrible. They are terrible. Get a nice view of the Eiffel Tower. I mean, look how happy and content I am. Uh, I mean, this was before I started watching that god-awful horrible basketball team. And but you want to know what’s scary? You could spill some coffee on you. And that’s what happened right there. A little bit scary. You want to know what else is scary, folks? Uh, look, I’m going to be real. I’m quite scared about Derrick Lively. Oh, hey, it’s me. I’m in a hotel room right now. I’m quite scared about Derrick Lively and what this means for him in his future, right? Um, I’ll touch on it more here in a second, but this will be a throughine throughout the video. I’m scared about Derrick Lively. I wish Cooper Flag would be a little bit more aggressive offensively, but I’m very worried about Derek Lively and in just his long-term future. Paris, they’re smart here. We’re at Versailles Palace. They know it’s a tourist destination. So, what do they have right outside of it? Can’t see. Folks, super happy to spend the day at Versailles. So much history inside of these buildings. So cool. I mean, look at the size of this thing, right? No wonder they killed Maryanne Twinette. Oh, and look, speaking of Marian Twinette, they say that she’s actually reincarnated as this white pigeon and roams the premises. You’re very lucky if you get a video of her. Look what I got. That’s her, folks. That really is. There are slightly biaseds everywhere for those with eyes who can see. Was absolutely aruck by this ceiling. I mean, look at this thing. Imagine looking at this every single day you wake up. Actually, it’s crazy cuz a big reason why I was so surprised by this is this looks almost identical to the Dicks in Mosquite, Texas off of Town East Mall. I couldn’t believe how similar it looked. If you know, you know. I guess. I mean, Dallas Architectures up there with some of the best in the world. Was so cold I had to buy a beanie and put it on. You guys let me know if I look like a fisherman with this beanie on. I kind of felt like I look like a some type of deep port fisherman. Got word right before we showed up that their bedrooms were out of commission and they were getting worked on. So, I was very happy to lend them my bedroom that they could use as an exhibit. I’m happy people enjoyed it. Was very happy to help out. Just testing out this ceiling for size. Thinking about installing it in the studio. This is the hall of mirrors. Absolutely crazy how deep it goes. And the walls are all made of mirrors. Of course, I had to snap a picture again. Balenciaga, Gucci, Findi, any of these companies. We’re starting the the bidding war at $2 million. And I’m all your Look at this painting. 1214. How is that even a real year? But look at this guy emoting right here. He can’t he’s he’s saying get a load of this [ __ ] He’s Tom and Jerry meme in 1214. Way ahead of his time. Look at this beautiful garden behind me. Now it’s kind of funny. This was sort of the basic layout I was going for in the new house that I’m building in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex. Just something like this. Obviously mine will be much bigger. Uh and it’s funny because I thought originally I came here I talked to somebody. I said, “Where did they get this idea from that clearly stole it from you?” They said, “Sir, this was so this was built 500 years ago.” And I said, “Oh.” So, in a way, I’m kind of a genius for imagining this in my own brain before ever seeing it. You know who else is a genius? Luca Donuch. The way he picks apart Chris Dunn every single time they play is nothing sort of mad villainy. A mad evil genius Luca Donuch is. I don’t know what him and Chris Dunn’s beef is, but it kind of goes back and ironic because it’s the Clippers, but when Luca was on the Mavs, I used to always say anytime they played the Clippers, whatever Avitz Zubots did to Luca Donic to piss him off so much, he needs to apologize. Chris Dunn needs to apologize and get over whatever petty ass beef they have because it is on site anytime Lucas sees Chris Dunn. And Chris Dunn hates him. I mean, this goes beyond like basketball [ __ ] talking. These two legitimately hate one another. And hey, man, Lakers look good. I’m not ready to eat crow just yet on that. But I will say I did predict that they could have the best offense in the league. And damn it, with those three playing, Luca, LeBron, and and AR, Austin Reeves, and of course, uh, uh, Bronny James as well, they’re up there. I mean, look at the size of this garden, guys. It’s no wonder peasants started killing people. Had this sandwich for lunch. It was pretty good. Got to watch this pigeon throw around breadcrumbs for about 20 or 30 minutes. You know, it’s quite [ __ ] up what we did to pigeons. Like, we trained them to be messengers. And once we didn’t have a need for that anymore a few hundred years ago now they just kind of wander around aimlessly flipping breadcrumbs up into the air over and over. Like it’s kind of [ __ ] up. You want to know who else is wandering around aimlessly right now? Anthony Davis. We got to call a spade a spade. Man, I feel so bad for this guy. He made some comments a couple days ago where he said that he felt bad for Nico Harrison and that he was surprised by the news. Mavs fans flipped their [ __ ] on him. I’ve said this before on here. I really wish we as Mavs fans would take it a little bit easier on the players, especially when they make comments about Nico Harrison. Of course, they have a different relationship, bro. That guy signed contracts for them that’s paying them tens of millions of dollars. And and Nico Harrison traded I mean I mean imagine it from AB’s perspective like the guy like I got traded Luca Dantes got traded for me. Everybody calls it the worst trade in the history of sports. So basically I’m getting [ __ ] on over and over. And then the guy who made the trade gets fired eight months later. So, I got to look in the mirror a little bit, right? I just wish fans would chill out a little bit. Like, dude, it’s a horrible situation for him. Like, do I think he should be traded ultimately? Yeah, I think it makes sense for the team, but let’s take it a little bit easy on the guy, huh? I think we could squeeze a couple more tables in here. I’m the one that’s living lavish like I’m playing for the Mavericks. You want to know who’s not playing for the Mavericks? Derek Lively. Extended absence coming from him. I’m a little bit concerned it could be very extended as in the remainder of the season extended. I don’t know. Just kind of a feeling in my gut. If that were the case, by the end of the year, he will have played in close to onethird of his total career games. What do you do with a guy like that? I’m actually very curious y’all’s opinion on this because I don’t know what to make of this lively situation. He’s clearly one of the most impactful players in the league. Has been since he was a rookie. One of the best defensive players in the league. The Mavericks who are so [ __ ] bad. I mean, this team is dreadfully awful, right? They’re a plus six when he plays this year. Like, that’s not nothing. They’re winning their minutes pretty extensively when he plays. And this guy can’t play. And he’s contract extension eligible in the summer. I’ve got no clue what you what you do with him. I know some people say try to trade high, sell high. Who’s going to want him? Who’s going to pay an arm and a leg cuz that’s what they’re going to have to give up. A literal arm and a leg so he could take the floor cuz that’s what he needs. Headed to Notraame Cathedral later in the day. Look at this absolute behemoth. I mean, this was one of the coolest things I have seen in person. Just think about how long ago they built this [ __ ] Absolutely marvelous. The inside was incredible. I just love how gothic some of this [ __ ] looks. I think it I think it’s just it gives me uh it gives me Wait a second. Is that Colin Coward right there? The hell he What the hell is he doing there? Look at the [ __ ] state of it. Notraam’s Palace, Castle, Cathedral. Can’t believe Notre Dame plays there. Did you guys know that? I thought Notre Dame was in Carolina. I don’t know where the [ __ ] Notre Dame is. It’s so cold outside. I have resorted to wearing a beanie for the first first time in multiple years, decade even, that I’ve worn a beanie. And I put the hood on and I feel like I look like a fisherman. Like I’m about just got off the dock. So now I’m going to pray at Notre Dame Cathedral. Jesus, look at it. 1163. How about that? That’s when it was built. I thought I thought history started in 1776. A little bit late in the day, but finally had my first beer of the day. Could not come at a better time. I mean, I was the way I was craving this actually has me a little bit concerned about what that means for me. But then headed to a Christmas market and this was pretty sick. I mean, it was tacky. It was goddy. But I feel like that’s what you need whenever it comes to Christmas. Hot wine. Vinshod. That’s what it’s called. That’s their specialty. You order it, it’s hot wine. It tastes a little bit like apple cider. Is there actual wine in there? I don’t know. Why is Spider-Man throwing his ass like that? I’m also not fully aware why that’s happening. These moose are singing. You got to love it. I really enjoyed the wine. I mean, it’s it’s steaming. It’s literally hot. It burns your lips. The taste it doesn’t taste like wine. I mean, I’m getting after it, man. Look out. Yeah, that’s hot. I know. That one caught me by surprise a little bit. Of course, had to dominate the the free throw shooting game that they had. Pop a shot. They they had to stop me and say, “Sir, you’re literally breaking our machine. You’re making so many buckets.” You want to know who’s not making buckets? The Dallas Mavericks. I mean, they could take me on their team with my shooting prowess that you’re seeing on full display right here. And I would immediately come in and help them out so much. I mean, they’re the sixth best defense in the league. And I had to go back and look at this. If the season were to end today, right, they have a minus 5.8 net rating with the sixth best defense in the NBA. If the season were to end today, they would be only the sixth team since 2002 2003, the 2002 2003 season to finish with a negative net rating with a top six defense. And not only that, their minus 5.8 net rating would be by far the worst among those six teams. The 2012 2013 Wizards had a minus 3.3 net rating. Uh they had the worst offense in the league, eight points than league average. The Mavericks currently worst offense in the league. 10 points below league average. That’s how dreadful their offense is, guys. It makes me so Christmas flavored beer. What’s it taste like? Tyler Gro. Tyler Chiro. It’s quite nice. A chug. Send a chug, guys. That means you got to chug now because you Wait, what was I saying? Merry Christmas to all. That’s what it looked like. Look at me getting after it. Jesus Christ, I moved so well. And look at this street afterwards with the lights on the trees. I mean, they don’t do this anywhere else in the world, man. They really don’t. There was a Stranger Things popup. Hawkins, the friendliest small town in the world. Uh, you ever been to Mount Calm, Texas, buddy? Yeah. I didn’t think so. Enjoying my second wine of the night cuz it’s esargo time. Okay. Window snails. Eargo. Pop it on. A little nervous. Here we go. Cheers. It’s It’s kind of oyster coated. It’s not bad. 360. All right, guys. I’m here at the Louv today. Going to look at the Mona Lisa. Uh no plans on stealing anything on my end. Uh you can see behind me if the [ __ ] toot bus would get out the way then you guys would really get a good view of it. But uh toot. That’s what they called me back in high school. Here comes Toot Bus. Everyone get out of the room. Everyone get the [ __ ] out. Second full day in Paris. Spending a good chunk of it at the Lou. I mean, look at this place, man. Look at all these statues. Some of these are 500 years old. This is how I want to go out right here. This is how I want to get buried. Me laying down. Finn by my feet and eight chatters carrying me to the grave. That’s who you guys are. Chatters. And it tells by the size as well. Most of you are stunted and it shows in the brain. Uh, look at this. Huh? Headless Angel. I mean, this was absolutely dope. Look at this crowd pouring in to go see the Mona Lisa. Where are you guys running to? She’s not going anywhere, believe it or not. She’s going to stay right where she is, which is right there. The thing so small in person. Uh, and look at this. And guys, all of the cameras you see, that’s not people taking pictures of the Mona Lisa. That was actually people originally taking pictures of me, and then security had to get involved. A whole big thing. I don’t really want to get into the weeds on it. Uh, and then here was actually me posing in front of this empty picture frame that they have in the Lou that they are planning on making a portrait of me. It’s going to go up. I’m very excited about it. More information to come, of course, when the details come out. Okay, I don’t have much to say about it now, folks. But I do have a lot to say about Cooper Flag right now. Every time it feels like we’re turning a corner with him, it kind of feels like we take a couple steps back. the three ball has really abandoned him as of late and it kind of shows in his confidence which has been a bit of a problem so far throughout his rookie year but that play at the end of the Heat game when he had the Jame Hawkeye switch the Mavs were down two and he had a good look at three passed it up passed up a drive and kicked out to PJ Washington who missed what would have been the game-winning three I I feel like there could be something with his with his thumb right he’s been wearing a splint now for a while I think it’s not necessarily a coincidence that He started his career 21 for his first 21 from the free throw line and since then has sort of fallen off a little bit from the free throw. I mean, he’s 64% from the free throw line over his last 10 games and in that stretch he’s 23% from three. So, his three balls completely abandoned him. I still like a lot of the stuff he’s doing. Of course, I still wish he was a little bit more aggressive of wish I of course I wish the Mavericks made more of an effort to get him involved early and often, but hey, it is what it is. I’m not worried about him. I’ve saw I’ve seen some people worried about the last few games. I’m not worried. One iota. I used to rule the world. Seas would run. Folks, if this leg looks familiar, that’s because that’s actually my leg. Uh-huh. They modeled it. They sculpted it. This was pre- ankle injury. It looks way better now, believe it or not. Look at this sphinx, dude. Sphinxes are absolutely, By the way, it smelled like [ __ ] in this room. Like, that baby might have [ __ ] them, folks. Look how beautiful this is. three, four, 5,000 years old. And interestingly enough, this was kind of back the children would craft these and would give them to their fathers before they went off to battle. And the fathers would kind of carry them into battle. And unfortunately, the ones you see, that means that they were killed on the battlefield because they got picked up. Um, that’s a complete and total lie. I just made all of that up. But you know what’s not a lie and not a fabrication? The woeful Dallas Mavericks are plus five when Derek Lively’s on the floor this year. And now he’s out for the season. Folks, I’ve achieved final status. I’m standing like this permanently. Hands behind my back, legs wide, powerful. The Eiffel Tower, folks. Rudy Goar’s nickname, the stiffel tower. the Eiffel Tower right here. This is why you spend months rehabbing an ankle. They say it’s the fastest recovery they’ve ever seen from an ankle surgery. They’ve said that and I quote, “That is the greatest and most remarkable recovery we’ve ever seen from a broken ankle.” End quote. So, you can do stuff like this in front of the Eiffel Tower. You know what else is sparkling? My future. Subscribe to Slightly Biased right now or else I’m going to put my foot directly in your [ __ ] to this place called Caret right after the Eiffel Tower. It’s famous, Tik Tok famous. The hot chocolate is delicious. Their pastries are delicious. They pour the hot chocolate right in front of you. Of course, I had to get a glass of wine really cuz you know, that’s why I’m in Paris, by the way, to drink wine. So, here I am enjoying the wine. But the hot chocolate was really good. It’s funny cuz the waitress was like, “Good luck. You You guys aren’t going to want to eat dinner after this hot chocolate.” I was like, “Uh, lady, no offense. You don’t know me at all. I’m going to eat a lot of dinner.” Of course, you know, one more glass of wine before we head to the dinner. Uh, and then look at this. I actually got that’s the French National Guard, I guess, deployed. Now, I heard from a reliable source. This was Donald Trump saying, “We’re so upset with Victor Wimyama. He’s never on the floor. We’re going to go take care of Paris ourselves.” Another glass of wine. Wreck them, baby. They take care of business. They’re going to host a college football playoff game. I can’t believe it. Oh my. Another glass of wine. I was really I was really feeling it this night. and then went to this delicious Italian place to end off the night. This delicious pizza right here. Now, typically I’m not a fan of people putting uncooked stuff onto pizza cuz I just think it kind of ruins the texture. They put deli meat, like cold meat on the pizza. And damn it, it was delicious. And their olive oil was unbelievable. And I already forgot the name of the place, otherwise I would shout it out. But damn, it was good. Just kidding. I just remembered off the top of my head. Gustoalia. Absolutely delicious. And this is how it had me feeling afterwards.

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