[Post is very much safe-for-work, unless of course you're significant other is a Mild fan. I just tagged it as such to keep the element of the surprise reveal.]

Hey Avs Faithful,

I’m back with another maker project giveaway! The last few giveaway went really well, so I am back here with this week's giveaway. Today, I fired up the machines and made a little something something.

Being a native Minnesotan, I have Norm Green to thank for making me an Avalanche fan. That being said, I still watch them time to time when nothing else is on, will cheer for them when playing a team I don't care for and would go and watch them when we still had the team formerly known as the Coyotes in town here. But when we play the Mild, my texts to friends and family back home get to Minnesota level passive-aggressive.

This week’s prize is a custom brass coin I designed featuring Nordy from the Minnesota Wild sprinting down a mountainside trying to escape an avalanche, and on the reverse side Bernie proudly planting a “No Mild” flag on top of the snow pile like he just conquered the mountain. And I’m sending one out to one of you for free.

I went through a few iterations of this overnight. I first printed directly to a coin using the texture mapping feature of my UV printer and the results were really good. I then thought maybe I should try putting a coin in the laser machine, etching the design on both sides first, and then printing just the design over the etching. While the laser was cooking on both sides of the coin, I then printed the flat design to another coin as another test. Once the laser was done I then printed the design to the laser etched coin. Honestly, I like the texture mapped one the most and it was the easiest! So that's the one I am giving away. (If there is a really spicy comment that makes me spit out my beer during today's game, I'll maybe make another and send it out as an honorable mention!)

So, today I figured we’d have a little fun at my home state’s expense.

To enter:

Comment below with your best anti-Minnesota roast.
That’s it. Your funniest, pettiest, most creative Minnesota slam.
Hockey-related, weather-related, culture-related — anything goes as long as it’s lighthearted and R-rated or below.

If you need inspiration, here are a few examples:

  • “Minnesota Nice is just passive-aggressive with a cute accent.”
  • “The Wild are like Minnesota weather: disappointing and unpredictable.”
  • “If the Wild had as much talent as Minnesota has lakes, they'd maybe finally have a cup.”
  • “Only in Minnesota can you get frostbite and boredom at the same time.”
  • “The Wild’s goal song should just be someone politely apologizing.”

You get the idea — have fun with it.

How to win:

  • The comment with the most upvotes by tomorrow at 1200HRS MST wins the coin.

Tie-breaker:

If there’s a tie or obvious vote manipulation, I’ll either pick the winner myself or let u/NHLAvalanche choose their favorite.

The Fine Print:

No Purchase Necessary: Just for fun for the community.
Eligibility: Open to US residents only (I’m covering shipping).
Prize: One custom brass Nordy vs. Bernie rivalry coin.

Please keep things fun, keep it within the rules, and don’t mass-downvote other comments — let the best roast win!

Good luck, and Go Avs!

24 comments

  1. Minnesota was recently voted as the most mid-western state. Colorado was recently voted the most excellent western state.

  2. The Mild came into being to replace the North Stars, who of course went to Dallas. So if you think about it, Minnesota has ties to not one, but two of the Avs’ most hated rivals.

    Also we really don’t need to clown Minnesota sports any more than they already do for themselves.

  3. You may know Minnesota as the land of 10,000 lakes but what you don’t know is the lakes are salt water and filled with the tears of their fans from years of ineptitude.

  6. Lutefisk is their state dish because it’s the only thing that stinks more than the Wild.

  7. The Minnesota Wild are not very good at the sport of hockey, at least when comparing them to other professional hockey teams.

  8. Minnesota hockey fans carry themselves like they’re an Original Six team at the center of the hockey universe, but the only orbit they’re in is first round exits and shattered expectations.

    *Avs fan here since ‘95 that moved to Minnesota a couple years ago and now cheers for Minnesota.*

  9. i know id watch a lot more college and high school hockey if my team was the mild so cant blame em

  12. I want everyone to finish the name of the classic children’s game in which everyone sits in a circle while one kid taps on everyone’s head.

    Duck duck ______

    Now ask your friend who moved to the vastly superior state from Minnesota what that game is called.

    Proceed to laugh at them.

  14. Minnesota Wild fans are Canadian hillbillies who think eating pizza rolls at the Mall of America is fine dining.

    And the fans are so whiney, their BO could set off a blow and go.

  17. Hard to roast something that gets burnt in the playoffs every year.

    Alt:

    The state of hockey had to move to the state to Texas to actually win.

  18. Fun fact Minnesota only sells water in bottles or in fountains. Cause they don’t have any cups.

  20. A bunch of tide pod eatin, anything on a stick in there mouth gagging, ope I don’t have a cup jabronis

  21. I was going to compare Minnesota fans to their state bird, a mosquito, but my wife said “That’s mean! Its too true.”

  23. I just want the Avs to take away their hope. That’s all Minnesota fans ever get to experience, and it’s toxic as hell. Their mental health will vastly improve if they don’t believe anymore. Zero cups, no Lombardi trophy, it would be a kindness to take away their hope, too.

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