Wrote this article to why the Sixers need more cushion for Maxey… check it out!
2 comments
16 Y/O and writing articles, love to see it.
My perspective is that we already have all the pieces we need for this team to be good, but we all know our team isn’t healthy. Embiid is the X factor and I’m personally am bearish on him returning to form.
We’re obviously asking a lot for McCain to step back into meaningful contributions again given his injury but that’s the waiting game we’re going to have to play.
VJ is a rookie so I can only expect so much but he has come back down to earth after his hot start so keep giving him as much playing time to get use to the NBA pace.
QG, not the biggest fan but appreciate how his shooting has gotten us out of holes this season.
PG/KO when both playing will help the offense flow a lot better, but the pieces are here. We just need them to play and function as a unit more fluidly.
If you want to be a sports writer, good for you! It’s fantastic that you’re getting practice so early in life. Stay in school! I’d strongly suggest that you ask your English teacher for pointers. They’ll be able to point out some of the mistakes you made and hopefully give you some helpful advice on how to avoid making the same ones in the future.
– It might be a good idea to give yourself some time between when you finish a draft and when you proofread, maybe like an hour or so? That way you can look at what you wrote with “fresh eyes” and more easily pick out the changes you need to make.
– It’s also important who you’re writing for. If this is for tapped in Sixers fans, you don’t need to reiterate how things are going quite so much and can lean into the trade talk. If this is for people who haven’t been watching quite as closely, maybe skip the trade talk and focus on painting a vivid picture of where the team is at right now and how they got here. “Know your audience” is a cliche for a reason!
– On the other hand, you don’t need to say the same things everyone else is saying in the exact same way. Even if you’re communicating the same information, finding your own voice is the most important thing to do. To that point, I like what you did with the cushion analogy at the beginning and end there! Try to do that with the rest of the article. You say of Drummond is “boxing out opposing teams when it comes to physicality.” but there’s probably a more relatable way to phrase that.
– I’m not sure I agree with any of your trade suggestions, but you didn’t describe them very well. What is their position? What is their play style? How tall are they? Is they playstyle similar to any former or current Sixers? Why would they be a good fit on the Sixers? Who would the Sixers have to trade for them? What is their salary? What impact might they have on the Sixers’ cap space? What is their role on their current team? How many years are left on their contract? What role would they play on the Sixers? Why would their current team want to trade them if they’re good enough to have a positive impact on the Sixers?
– Look how many times I said “the Sixers” in the above paragraph. It got kind of annoying to read the same words over and over again, right? Try to avoid repeating the same words and phrases like that. Roster, players, group, squad, team, unit, there are plenty of other words to use.
– Stop using the word “really”
I wrote the reply to this comment before realizing that you’re a kid so it’s really fucking mean. I wrote the above advice because I feel bad about being mean, but I’m still posting the mean part because it made me laugh when I reread it. I don’t think you should necessarily read it, but you can make your own decisions.
2 comments
16 Y/O and writing articles, love to see it.
My perspective is that we already have all the pieces we need for this team to be good, but we all know our team isn’t healthy. Embiid is the X factor and I’m personally am bearish on him returning to form.
We’re obviously asking a lot for McCain to step back into meaningful contributions again given his injury but that’s the waiting game we’re going to have to play.
VJ is a rookie so I can only expect so much but he has come back down to earth after his hot start so keep giving him as much playing time to get use to the NBA pace.
QG, not the biggest fan but appreciate how his shooting has gotten us out of holes this season.
PG/KO when both playing will help the offense flow a lot better, but the pieces are here. We just need them to play and function as a unit more fluidly.
If you want to be a sports writer, good for you! It’s fantastic that you’re getting practice so early in life. Stay in school! I’d strongly suggest that you ask your English teacher for pointers. They’ll be able to point out some of the mistakes you made and hopefully give you some helpful advice on how to avoid making the same ones in the future.
– It might be a good idea to give yourself some time between when you finish a draft and when you proofread, maybe like an hour or so? That way you can look at what you wrote with “fresh eyes” and more easily pick out the changes you need to make.
– It’s also important who you’re writing for. If this is for tapped in Sixers fans, you don’t need to reiterate how things are going quite so much and can lean into the trade talk. If this is for people who haven’t been watching quite as closely, maybe skip the trade talk and focus on painting a vivid picture of where the team is at right now and how they got here. “Know your audience” is a cliche for a reason!
– On the other hand, you don’t need to say the same things everyone else is saying in the exact same way. Even if you’re communicating the same information, finding your own voice is the most important thing to do. To that point, I like what you did with the cushion analogy at the beginning and end there! Try to do that with the rest of the article. You say of Drummond is “boxing out opposing teams when it comes to physicality.” but there’s probably a more relatable way to phrase that.
– I’m not sure I agree with any of your trade suggestions, but you didn’t describe them very well. What is their position? What is their play style? How tall are they? Is they playstyle similar to any former or current Sixers? Why would they be a good fit on the Sixers? Who would the Sixers have to trade for them? What is their salary? What impact might they have on the Sixers’ cap space? What is their role on their current team? How many years are left on their contract? What role would they play on the Sixers? Why would their current team want to trade them if they’re good enough to have a positive impact on the Sixers?
– Look how many times I said “the Sixers” in the above paragraph. It got kind of annoying to read the same words over and over again, right? Try to avoid repeating the same words and phrases like that. Roster, players, group, squad, team, unit, there are plenty of other words to use.
– Stop using the word “really”
I wrote the reply to this comment before realizing that you’re a kid so it’s really fucking mean. I wrote the above advice because I feel bad about being mean, but I’m still posting the mean part because it made me laugh when I reread it. I don’t think you should necessarily read it, but you can make your own decisions.