AJ Brown’s injury designation is DNP – Teeth. If he played for the 76ers, what would be wrong with him?
December 25, 2025
AJ Brown’s injury designation is DNP – Teeth. If he played for the 76ers, what would be wrong with him?
5 comments
AJ Brown got his wisdom teeth out this week, and he’ll be fine to play on Sunday. But if he played for the 76ers, this injury designation would surely mean some 1 in a Million ailment would sideline him for a minimum 6 months, right?
Hair
Sixers doctors would probably diagnose too much yellow bile and recommend blood letting
If he was on the 76ers, a pumpkin seed stuck in his tooth would ignite a dormant pumpkin allergy, but instead of manifesting in anaphylaxis, AJ’s body would accelerate the seed’s gestation process, causing it to rapidly take root and grow upward into AJ Brown’s skull. As it reaches the blood/brain barrier, he transforms into a full-on pumpkin head, trying to plant more pumpkin brain seeds into the other players. Though he thankfully only manages to implant Eric Gordon, most of the other players suffer injuries from pumpkin vine thorns and pumpkin seeds being rapidly fired at them from AJ Brown’s big pumpkin mouth. Fortunately, he is subdued and the pumpkin seed is removed from his tooth and brain. The entire team will be reevaluated after 2-4 weeks.
He went deep sea fishing with Ben Simmons. Got served fresh sashimi. But really it had hidden scales that lacerated his gums.
Which caused an infection that took out half his teeth and destroyed his ability to catch leather objects.
5 comments
AJ Brown got his wisdom teeth out this week, and he’ll be fine to play on Sunday. But if he played for the 76ers, this injury designation would surely mean some 1 in a Million ailment would sideline him for a minimum 6 months, right?
Hair
Sixers doctors would probably diagnose too much yellow bile and recommend blood letting
If he was on the 76ers, a pumpkin seed stuck in his tooth would ignite a dormant pumpkin allergy, but instead of manifesting in anaphylaxis, AJ’s body would accelerate the seed’s gestation process, causing it to rapidly take root and grow upward into AJ Brown’s skull. As it reaches the blood/brain barrier, he transforms into a full-on pumpkin head, trying to plant more pumpkin brain seeds into the other players. Though he thankfully only manages to implant Eric Gordon, most of the other players suffer injuries from pumpkin vine thorns and pumpkin seeds being rapidly fired at them from AJ Brown’s big pumpkin mouth. Fortunately, he is subdued and the pumpkin seed is removed from his tooth and brain. The entire team will be reevaluated after 2-4 weeks.
He went deep sea fishing with Ben Simmons. Got served fresh sashimi. But really it had hidden scales that lacerated his gums.
Which caused an infection that took out half his teeth and destroyed his ability to catch leather objects.