[Jomboy] White Sox are adding bidets in their clubhouse as requested by Japanese slugger Munetaka Murakami

31 comments

1. > White Sox are adding bidets in their clubhouse as requested by Japanese slugger Munetaka Murakami

   > “One thing he did notice is we didn’t have a bidet in our locker room. That’s new to him. It was like, ‘Ok, that’s new. We can do that.’” -GM Chris Getz

   Be sure to click for the visual

2. America won’t be a civilized country until bidets are normalized 

3. “The money will be spent”

4. This guy is definitely the type that will drop some record breaking Courics

5. Damn, Angels still ain’t got AC and the White Sox got themselves a bidet

6. Listen, the swamp ass you get in a Midwestern summer is TERRIBLE. This easily gets the White Sox 5 more wins.

7. The league isn’t ready for the clean butthole White Sox

8. Every toilet should have one. It’s just good hygiene.

9. I used to think bidets were a gimmick. They are life changing.

10. white sox will have the lowest WAR in the league (wipes above replacement)

11. That’s cool of them honestly.

12. After you get used to a bidet, not using one feels dirty. Added bonus is that you can avoid toilet lasagna (poop, then paper, then more poop cause you thought you were finished, and so on). You use way less paper too

13. If you don’t have a bidet, you have a dirty butthole. 

14. The Chicago Bidets

15. best offseason addition of all time

16. This settles it. The White Sox won the offseason.

17. Discovering civilization one step at a time

18. Stayed with a friend of mine for a wedding a month ago. Dude had a bidet in his house, I’d never used one before.

    Life changing. Bought one on Amazon before I even returned home.

19. Yet another cloud in a perfect storm of good signings and chicanery like this. We may very well be in for some 2005-esque shenanigans in the near future, everyone.

20. Kikuchi can’t even get AC in the weight room

21. And you thought they were lying when they said they would reinvest the Robert money.

22. Bidets are perfectly cool to have and I can absolutely see the appeal (hell, I own one). I also think that people who feel unclean without one don’t know how to wipe their asses.

23. I did not understand how great bidets really were until I went to my now-wife’s old apartment the first time. Now they’re in every toilet in our house. I sometimes reach for a phantom bidet in the office bathroom and get sad that there’s not one there. Mine has done everyone a great service.

24. Dodgers added bidets per Roki Sasaki’s preferences and won a championship. White Sox World Series title is INEVITABLE

25. But do they still have troughs in the public restrooms?

26. A bidet is the best purchase I’ve made in the last 10 years.

    Even a cheap one from Amazon is worth it, and simple to install. Seriously. You’ll save a fuck ton of money on TP and your ass will be so damn clean. No more sharpie poops.

    Get a bidet.

    EDIT: That first blast is a doozy, but you’ll settle in quickly lol

27. This addition will greatly increase bWAR (bathroom Water-to-Ass Ratio).

28. Chicago White Drawers

29. The lads experiencing this

    

30. I actually feel dirty pooping at work now because of no bidet, but I still do it because getting paid to poop is one of the best things in life.

31. The plumber in me says no keep using flushable wipes and TP it totally won’t ruin your plumbing this time I swear.

    The man that likes a clean butthole says please everyone buy a bidet. Even the ones that attach to your seat.