Darren hates happiness.
PublishedMarch 19, 2026 9:40 AM EDT•UpdatedMarch 19, 2026 9:10 AM EDT
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Darren Rovell, the undisputed king of the dorks in the sports social media space, has a problem with patrons at the Masters enjoying the many great food items they offer at Augusta National.
If there is one unwritten rule when it comes to the Masters, it’s that you can’t say anything negative about the concessions on the property. When it comes to the extremely low prices, high-quality relative to those prices, and the swiftness of the operation itself, there isn’t a more seamless and enjoyable concessions experience in sports.
Complaining about the concessions at Augusta National is like complaining about Chick-Fil-A’s customer service: you just don’t do it.
That is, unless your name is Darren Rovell and bitching and moaning is the structure in which your entire personality is built.
The former ESPN writer jumped on X on Wednesday and said that people expressing their love and appreciation for the food at the Masters is “one of the weirdest annual behaviors in all of sport.” In other words, Rovell has an issue with people being happy that the Masters offers good food at an extremely affordable cost. Having such a problem with it that you have to complain about it to your 1.8 million followers is beyond weird, which makes it entirely normal behavior for Mr. Rovell.
As someone who has a lot of experience eating food at the Masters (no biggie) my issue with Rovell’s post is that nobody is out there clamoring that the Masters has the greatest food in the world.
The obsession and appreciation for every item available is that, relative to the cost, it’s very, very good. When you can get a sandwich and a beer for $9, both of those things are going to taste a lot better knowing that if you bought the same thing at literally any other professional sporting event, you’re looking at dropping $30, minimum.
Darren Rovell Roasted For Absurd Masters Food Take