F*ck Your Teams: Why I LOVE the 2025-2026 Washington Capitals | NHL Season Preview

F*ck Your Teams: Why I LOVE the 2025-2026 Washington Capitals | NHL Season Preview

The Washington Capitals, the team that features the greatest goal scorer to ever live, is back for one last ride as they try and get past yet another playoff disappointment and potentially get Alex Ovuchkin his second Stanley Cup before he rides off into the sunset. But is it going to happen for Washington this year? Forget me for you should forget it. You’re living in the past, man. The Caps came into the 2024-25 season with basically no expectations. They had made the playoffs through fluke luck the year before and most people expected that they would probably miss the playoffs this year. What happened next was astounding. Spencer Carvery got these guys playing with absolute fire and precision and they jumped out to become one of the best teams in the NHL just narrowly missing winning the president’s trophy heading into the playoffs. But of course the big story line was whether Alex Ovuchetkin was finally going to chase down Wayne Gretzky and claim the goalc scoring record for himself. It seemed like it was not going to happen when he broke his leg early on in the season, but because he’s a goddamn cyborg, he managed to come back. Still scored 40 goals and broke the record, cementing his legacy as one of the four or five best players of all time. In the playoffs, the Caps met an old foe in Montreal in the first round, a very upandcoming team that looked like they could give the Caps a run for their money. And while Montreal kept it close in the games, the series was not. Tom Wilson scrambled their brains and the Caps won in five games, setting up a rematch with the Carolina Hurricanes. It was a battle of two styles. One who threw everything at the net, one who was more choosy with their opportunities. And it turned out if you’re more choosy with your opportunities, you need to actually be able to get some. Carolina dominated the pace of the game, won the series in five games, and it was another second round exit for the DC team. Don’t turn your back on me. Let’s get one thing straight. This is shooters tour. I’ve worked hard my whole life, paid my dues, and now it’s shooters turn. The Caps return basically their entire remade forward core from last year. Headlined, of course, by Alex Ovetchkin. Now at age 40, he’s entering what could be his last year. Maybe he has nothing left to accomplish. He’s won his cup. He’s gotten the goalc scoring record. He’s cemented his legacy as the greatest player of his generation. Carried a franchise from irrelevancy for two decades. So, what’s there left to accomplish? Maybe one more cup, maybe the first player to 900 goals. His center is Dylan Stro, who was cleaned off of the scrap heap a couple of years ago. And it turned out that all he needed to revitalize his career was play with the greatest goal scorer of all time. Who would have thunk it? On his other wing, Alexi Pro, one of the biggest revelations of last year, the Big Bell Arusian became an absolute dynamo power forward and hopes to continue building off of what he set forth last year. On the second line, you’ve got another castoff who revitalized his career in Washington in Pier Luke Dubois. The Keer for Pier Luke Duba trade was widely criticized mostly by myself. And it turned out that Pier Luke Dubois can actually be an incredibly effective player when he doesn’t have his head up his own ass. It also helps that he’s playing alongside one of the scariest players in the NHL in Tom Wilson. As I mentioned in the playoffs last year, Tom Wilson hit Alex Kerier so hard that he broke the entire Montreal Canadians organization, adding them as another team that offers him space in their heads rentree. God, I love rooting for this guy. It’s like being in a trial by combat and being able to pick the Terminator to fight for you. On the other wing, Conor Mcichael, who had an incredible start to his year last year before petering out just a little bit, but he’s proven he is very much a top six forward and he can play center on your third line if you absolutely need it. Projected to be on the third line is a bunch of young kids. You have Hendrickx Lapierre who’s gotten a few good looks over the past few years and just hasn’t quite been able to stick. So, not incredibly confident that he’s going to be able to do it this year, but he’s playing with one of the best prospects in the Caps organization in Ryan Leonard. He was an absolute fireplug last year, although he didn’t do much in his time in DC. Here’s hoping that with a full year in Washington, he’ll be able to develop into one of the better power forwards in the NHL. And then finally, Anthony Bavilier, who like Stro and Dubois, was seen as something of a misfit toy when he was bounced around the NHL, but has found a home in Washington thanks to playing alongside Alex Ovetkin. It’s kind of odd how he doesn’t get any credit for being an incredible leader when he keeps taking all these players who are absolute garbage and then as soon as they come here, they’re suddenly the best version of themselves they’ve ever been. On the bottom line, it’s the grit guys. You’ve got Brandon Du, Nick Dow, one of the best defensive centers in the NHL, and Justin Sordiff, who the Caps paid a second round pick to acquire. Well, you must really like him, Chris Patrick. As far as forward prospects, the Caps got plenty of those. Andrew Cristell and Iban Mnenko are down in AHL Hershey just waiting for their chance to pop off. All we hear is about their defense. They can’t stop a nose bleed. Defensively, the Caps have a pretty solid core that they’ve managed to cobble together over the past few years. It’s headlined by John Carlson, who under the radar is entering the final year of his deal. It could be the end of the road in Washington for him, but personally, I would love it if he could end his career as a Cap. He’s one of the most underrated number one defenseman of this era. He doesn’t get nearly the respect he should as evidenced by the fact that he was left off of Four Nations last year and might not be an Olympian this year. His partner is the Marty party himself, Martin Farravari, who is dealing with some injury concerns, but has been generally a pretty solid player and was rewarded with a big extension as a result. There’s also Jacob Chikrin on the second pair, another guy who was cast out of Ottawa and had bounced around the NHL, but emerged as a superstar in DC and got rewarded handsomely with a result. Might be a little bit of an overpay, especially given his age, but given how good he was for DC last year, you can’t hate on the idea of an extension for him. And he’ll be paired with Trevor Van Ream, who’s one of those guys that I’m always wondering why he still has a place on the team. He’s fine, but I feel like he’s the guy that you could always find an upgrade for, especially considering that on the third pairing, you’ve got Rasmus Sandine, who’s still got a lot of potential at age 25, and Matt Roy, who they brought in last off season for a pretty penny and is one of the better shutdown defenseman. I think stylistically he pairs a little better with Chrin, but for now he’s paired up with the Sandman. As far as prospects go, the caps are a little bit thin when it comes to defenseman. They got some guys like Vincent Seenorio, but the guy I’m most excited to watch this year is Lane Hudson’s little brother, Cole. I don’t know if he’s going to make it into the NHL this year, but he’s a guy who, if he’s even a tenth of his brother, could be very interesting to watch in a year or two. Wait, it’s not Goldberg. It’s here. Take the gold. In goal, it’s the Log Man. Logan Thompson was acquired for just two third round picks a year ago and became one of the best goalies in the NHL in DC and got rewarded with a big extension as a result. Thompson has never been a full-time starter and that’s not the expectation here. He’ll be splitting time in net here with Charlie Lindren, a guy who got the caps into the playoffs a couple of years ago and then kind of fell apart in the playoffs. That was also the mo for Logan Thompson in the second round. he wasn’t quite as good as he had been. But the fact of the matter is both of these guys on any given day have the potential to play out of their minds. And Logan Thompson in particular still young enough that I think he could develop into a lowgrade number one starter over time. You ain’t going to be able to hit them. They’re too good and you suck something off. Yes, sir. I sure do. Spencer Carbury returns for his third year behind the bench in DC as the reigning Jack Adams trophy winner. He’s one of the best young upand cominging coaches in the NHL. And I was so glad when the Cavs grabbed him. And he’s proven why. He’s one of those guys who kind of understands how you need to coach in the modern NHL. Very good tactically, but also understands how to deal with and relate with players. Don’t run them into the ground. And his job is basically entirely secured unless something goes horribly wrong this year. Since you’re new here, uh, I’m going to cut you a break. In the offseason, the Caps did basically nothing. I mean, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Uh, like I mentioned, they traded for Justin Sordiff. I think that that was a terrible trade. And they also acquired Declan Chisel on defense in addition to locking up a bunch of their players in the draft. The Caps waited at the end of the first round for a huge power forward to fall into their laps and Lynon Lake. He was one of the biggest steals in the draft in my opinion. I can’t wait to see how he develops. And then at the beginning of the second round, they also managed to pick up a guy who fell out of the first round in Milton Gastrine. Really good draft by the Cavs. So once again getting great value and not having to spend that capital to move up. Pretty good. Pretty damn good. I know I slob on his knob quite a bit, but if this is the last year that Alex Ovetchkin plays in the NHL, I just have to say it’s been such a pleasure watching him from the time he came into the NHL could barely speak any English and just how much he’s had to overcome with this organization. the terrible defenses, the lack of a starting goalender for years, the fact that it was just him, Backstrom and Alex Semen for a while, having to carry this organization, going through a new number one defenseman every year until Mike Green got here, not having an experienced head coach to guide him until Barry Tros took over, and still despite all of that, becoming the greatest player in franchise history, a player who has revitalized hockey in the district, but has also matured, become an incredible family man, an incredible charity worker in the region and a player who the entire city has truly rallied around. I’ll give you a winter prediction. It’s going to be cold. It’s going to be gray. And it’s going to last you for the rest of your life. So, what do I think is going to happen for the Caps this year? Honestly, I don’t think they’re going to be as good as last year. They kind of came out of nowhere and played a little bit over their skis to become, you know, one of the best teams in the NHL, but I think they’re still going to be, you know, a top two or three team in the Metro Division. They’ll make the playoffs. They might have a little bit of a tougher first round and maybe they don’t make it to the second. But if Spencer Carbury is as good a coach as I think he is, if Logan Thompson is as good of a goalender as I hope he can be, and if the young guys continue to develop, this is a team that could conceivably get better, and they have a good style that can work in the playoffs. Very tough, but also very, very calm and deliberate with the puck. I think that there is an opportunity for this team to go on a deep run. I wouldn’t personally bet on it as much as I would like to, but this team is going to be very interesting to watch. [Applause] [Music] Heat. Heat. [Music]

The Caps are back and they’re winning the Cup this year (probably not, but let me dream)!

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