My girlfriend knows nothing about the Spurs. I prompted her to come up with hypothetical first dates based solely off vibes and I transcribed her answers
October 30, 2025
What do we think? Are her vibe checks accurate?
35 comments
Biyombo ghosting lmfao
Your gf should be an NBA scout
“He’s such a cutie and so sweet!”
Second date?: “No”
We are all so cooked, chat
Biyombo and Champagnie killed me lmao
I am a straight man and ngl that is how I imagine my first date with Victor as well
Accurate
Why no second date for the freak nasty?
Honestly pretty spot on just from the pics. Did my boy Champagnie dirty with the expensive liquor when his name is literally champagne smh.
the fact she mentioned wemby reading books is kinda uncanny. that, or she might be partially lying and saw that clip of wemby taking a book to the all-star locker room
This is hilarious, but the team has become too good for this sub to enter peak offseason mode in late October.
Disappointing (accurate) Irish stereotyping to be subjected to
This is the kind of offseason stuff we need!
Kornet with his friends lmao
Got every player down except Fox. Nobody has ever accused Fox of being shy and taciturn
Julian would be proud of that one lmfao.
This is the kind of in-depth analysis Reddit exists for.
no Lindy Waters huh?
That is hilarious
Apple picking?
Someone needs to show this to them lol
If she did Luke Kornet like that, you should show her Matt Bonner lol.
Can you do the Indiana Fever next?
She basically just said Mclaughlin looks like Common
This is hilarious. You two should expand this into a major project that includes the entire NBA, and then goes old school back to the 70s with Walt Frazier, Artis Gilmore, and Jerry West!
I think she’s pretty good at figuring people.
2 things though :
She must be a fan of dogs, because to me that’s the definition of a bad date.
Sochan (as he is now, young an all) looks like the guy who will put a lot of effort (money actually, disguised in personal effort) for the first few dates, then once you’re hooked, he’ll take you for granted and maybe spend more time with his other girls.
Are you sure she figured that on Wemby just watching his face ? She’s got a sixth sense .I am. Surprise so few men do this btw. And of this genuinely. Women almost never experience such personal, dedicated attention. The real ones don’t want to be regular princesses. They want to be treated like the special person they believe they are, not like a general idea of what’s a princess.
Wemby’s description is perfect lol
You guys like Sochan because of his defensive acumen and his positive camaraderie.
I like him because I think he’s a cutie patootie.
We are not the same.
You can make interesting plot twist scenarios on these lmao. Like Keldon after 1 hour finally gives in to his intrusive thoughts and makes his dog fight yours while he cheers on loudly totally hyped up or Wemby forgets that you exist as soon as he comes across his first interesting book.
These comments are making us crack up y’all. We’re thinking of doing a part 2 featuring Spurs legends.
We goin apple pickin
Harper’s is funny
This is one of the best posts in the history of the sub. Excellent work, OP! Your girlfriend did remarkably well. I think this was spot on for most players. 🤣
I swear Champagnie is one of the more handsome dudes in the NBA. Also the extremely detailed Kornet date is sooo funny to me
There’s no way she’s saying Castle is chill based on his photo!
please have your lady do this for every team. this could be a weekly column in a legit publication. solid gold.
35 comments
Biyombo ghosting lmfao
Your gf should be an NBA scout
“He’s such a cutie and so sweet!”
Second date?: “No”
We are all so cooked, chat
Biyombo and Champagnie killed me lmao
I am a straight man and ngl that is how I imagine my first date with Victor as well
Accurate
Why no second date for the freak nasty?
Honestly pretty spot on just from the pics. Did my boy Champagnie dirty with the expensive liquor when his name is literally champagne smh.
the fact she mentioned wemby reading books is kinda uncanny. that, or she might be partially lying and saw that clip of wemby taking a book to the all-star locker room
This is hilarious, but the team has become too good for this sub to enter peak offseason mode in late October.
Disappointing (accurate) Irish stereotyping to be subjected to
This is the kind of offseason stuff we need!
Kornet with his friends lmao
Got every player down except Fox. Nobody has ever accused Fox of being shy and taciturn
Julian would be proud of that one lmfao.
This is the kind of in-depth analysis Reddit exists for.
no Lindy Waters huh?
That is hilarious
Apple picking?
Someone needs to show this to them lol
If she did Luke Kornet like that, you should show her Matt Bonner lol.
Can you do the Indiana Fever next?
She basically just said Mclaughlin looks like Common
This is hilarious. You two should expand this into a major project that includes the entire NBA, and then goes old school back to the 70s with Walt Frazier, Artis Gilmore, and Jerry West!
I think she’s pretty good at figuring people.
2 things though :
She must be a fan of dogs, because to me that’s the definition of a bad date.
Sochan (as he is now, young an all) looks like the guy who will put a lot of effort (money actually, disguised in personal effort) for the first few dates, then once you’re hooked, he’ll take you for granted and maybe spend more time with his other girls.
Are you sure she figured that on Wemby just watching his face ? She’s got a sixth sense .I am. Surprise so few men do this btw. And of this genuinely. Women almost never experience such personal, dedicated attention. The real ones don’t want to be regular princesses. They want to be treated like the special person they believe they are, not like a general idea of what’s a princess.
Wemby’s description is perfect lol
You guys like Sochan because of his defensive acumen and his positive camaraderie.
I like him because I think he’s a cutie patootie.
We are not the same.
You can make interesting plot twist scenarios on these lmao. Like Keldon after 1 hour finally gives in to his intrusive thoughts and makes his dog fight yours while he cheers on loudly totally hyped up or Wemby forgets that you exist as soon as he comes across his first interesting book.
These comments are making us crack up y’all. We’re thinking of doing a part 2 featuring Spurs legends.
We goin apple pickin
Harper’s is funny
This is one of the best posts in the history of the sub. Excellent work, OP! Your girlfriend did remarkably well. I think this was spot on for most players. 🤣
I swear Champagnie is one of the more handsome dudes in the NBA. Also the extremely detailed Kornet date is sooo funny to me
There’s no way she’s saying Castle is chill based on his photo!
please have your lady do this for every team. this could be a weekly column in a legit publication. solid gold.