This team needs something to believe in.
With four Stanley cup final appearances and two rings Phil has the pedigree of a champion.
Powered only by skittles, hot dogs, and literal gallons of Coca-Cola, we will get to watch Phil the thrill play 20+ minutes a night while our prospects continue to ride the pine.
The fact that Phil isn’t already in the HOF is criminal, lets show the league that he can still throw 30+ in the back of the net at the age of 38.
If watching Phil become the strongest contributor on the team doesn’t inspire (or shame) our boys into stepping up, I don’t know what will.
If you made it this far… relax, this is intended as a joke.
23 comments
Phil…glad you are trying to get signed!
sorry I’m going to take that entire post seriously despite your wishes and spend several paragraphs getting mad about it
We don’t have the cap space for hot dogs
Makes as much sense as anything else that has been proposed.
Didn’t he deny being traded to the Wild but was okay with going to Arizona?
“Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.”
I am more in the mood to drink, not joke. Going to get started early as I have a double header of potential disappointment with the Wild and the Gophers playing. Already one Bloody Mary deep today. It was a great lunch however.
Phil hates Minnesota
3 Rings.
Why stop here. let’s get Jagr as well.
Hey, if Landeskog can come back to Colorado and Toews signed in Winnipeg… maybe it isn’t the worst idea 😂
Joey Chestnut on skates. One of my all time favorites. His poker stories are legendary too.
A Modest Proposal—EAT IRISH BABIES
I would say Konecny would be the perfect top 6 pickup but alas, that fucking club, lost in a no mans land rebuild, is still doing better than us.
Found Phil Kessels throwaway account.
Only if it’s a minimum of 3 years with a full NMC
He did play for Team USA.
Also if not a player can he be an assistant coach
Didn’t he historically not want to play here?
I still think of Phil when I hear the Blues Kessels name get called.
A modest proposal, eat Phil Kessel
if he signs ill door dash 9 roller dogs each for everyone in this post (that’s 3 per period)
You can’t be serious…