Cowboys Players Reflect on the Life of Marshawn Kneeland | Player Interviews

Cowboys Players Reflect on the Life of Marshawn Kneeland | Player Interviews

Solomon, can you just talk about um your emotions and the the moments after getting the news and just exactly what did Marshon Neland mean to you and the guys around him? Um you know, emotions from uh hearing the news about Marshon was, you know, completely tragic. Um just in complete shock, you know, trying to figure out like what’s real, what’s going on. Um you know, Marshon was somebody who we spent every day with in the D line room. You know, I sat right behind him. He was someone who one of the first guys I met when I first came in the building during captain workouts in the offseason and um Marshan meant the world to us you know as a brother like um as I said um at the visual on Monday night is like people don’t understand like we’re all teammates we may we may not be best friends but we’re all brothers and um you know just to lose someone like that who brought so much joy in the room I’m always a smile on his face you know always enjoying the time every time he made a big play you could see the smile through his helmet like uh someone who you know, held the standard every day and how he worked, always running to the ball, always working his tail off in every aspect of the game. Someone who didn’t take each day for granted. Um, and to have that spirit and that um, just person missing in your room, it’s devastating. Um, it’s devastating for his teammates, but you know, it’s it’s even more devastating than that. It’s devastating for his family, for Catalina, for all his loved ones. He was loved by so many, and you could feel that love throughout the last week. And um you know there’s no way no way to replace that spirit or that feeling but uh to keep him with us in everything we do. You know um do this for him um you know keep his name held high um and just just love him and and keep him alive in every way we can. And what did it mean to you to be asked to speak at his visual? Um, you know, it was honestly really hard to, you know, be asked, you know, because, um, it’s hard to put into words, you know, like the pain that everyone’s feeling and, you know, you can you can’t even imagine, like you can you can say, I can’t imagine, but in reality, like you can never imagine someone’s pain. You can never really know what they’re going through and what they’re feeling. And so, to try to put that into words is really hard. Um, you know, I just got here, I’ve been here for a year. I knew Marawn for um about eight months. and uh you know so you know to to feel like you know am I deserving of speaking am I like but you know I just try to sum up what Marshon meant to me I try to sum up what he meant to this team what he meant to this world um and you can see it you can see it all over social media you can see it on this team um you know on Monday you know Shotti had a very special day for us you know we were as a Dline we were basically in the position room with a therapist for with Dr. tea for about two hours and uh guys are crying, guys are pouring their their feelings and emotions out, guys are being extremely vulnerable. Um and you could it just it’s just so telling of what Marshon of who Marshon was and what he meant to this team and you know he will forever be missed and will forever know hold his name and spirit held high. What’s been the hardest part for you personally throughout all of this? Um, for me personally, you know, a loss of a brother, uh, a loss of someone who, um, gave me the honor and respect of him looking up to me as a veteran. Um, but even past that, you know, I have a history with, uh, mental health and in my family and a lot of triggering emotions for myself. Um uh and not to make that more important than any of the pain that anyone else is feeling right now. Um it’s just been been really a really hard week, you know, uh for um the emotions I’ve been feeling. But also, you know, I I like I said, I can’t imagine the emotions that his family and Catalina are feeling. You know, that um it’s a tragic death. It’s a death of a 24 yearear-old young man who had so much life to live. Um and my hearts just break for everyone and my prayers go out to everyone. And um the only thing the only way I know how to get out of a to move forward from a tragic situation like this is to live for that person. Take the amazing qualities that you learned from them. Um take the smiles and memories that you gave from them and apply them to your life every day and live for that person. Talk to their spirit, hold their spirit with you every day. Um, the only way I I truly believe you can let someone die is is is not living with their spirit, not saying their name, not talking to them, not loving them, not feeling the grief. Because, you know, grief is pain, but grief grief is also love. And you you feel that hurt, you feel that guilt, you feel that shame, you feel the sadness and depression because you you had so much love for that person. So, that’s that’s really been the pain for me the last week. Shotti said that the team plans to honor Marawn in the way that you play the rest of the season and moving forward. So, how do you define that and how do you think it can manifest itself on the field? I mean, if if we all play like Marawn will play as a better team like you know, I’m not saying Marawn was a perfect perfect player, but the way he would go out there and play is the way football’s supposed to be played. He would run to the ball um like even no matter how tired he was. Um he would play with intensity and tenacity and he went out there because he loved the game and he played with love. Like you know he he played every play like it was his last. He didn’t take reps for granted. Um he what I learned is that he came from a small town in Michigan and he wasn’t supposed to be here. So he played like he wanted to be here every single day and and if we do that you know we’ll honor him uh win loss or draw like if we play like Marawn you know you know we’ll be a better team and we’ll come out of this better. Solomon in uh in in 2012 you lost one of your best friends in the middle of the season, Jacob Logan at Copel. Um just what do you remember about that and and obviously not by suicide but just in the middle of a football season and how you guys kind of proceeded in that? Yeah. Uh you know Jacob Logan was a great friend of mine is a great friend of mine and I love Jacob every day. So close to his family. Um, and losing him, like he was one of our leaders, one of our one of our brothers. Like, and losing him middle of the season was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through. Um, uh, but the only way we got through it was loving each other, being there for each other, guys hugging, crying after every win or loss after we lost him, you know, guys coming together. And that’s the only way we can get through this is is loving each other. Um, is is being there for each other, being vulnerable. Um, you know, holding a brother up when he’s down, asking someone how they’re doing, but really meaning it. Like not just saying, “How are you doing?” to walk by, but like like bro, how you doing? How you holding up? Like I’m here for you, like you know. So um you know, I’ve gone through this before like you said and and I forever live for Jacob and um like I I’ll forever live for Marshawn. Um but there’s only one way through this and that’s through love and and holding each other high. Was there ever any sign that y’all saw that he might have been struggling? Um uh no. I mean, no. I mean, Marsham was in the building smiling every day. He was happy. He was listening to music. He was dancing all the time. But that that that that’s the thing with mental health and and and suicide. You you just never know what someone’s going through. Someone could be smiling. Someone could be dancing, laughing, having a great time, expressing all this joy, but in the inside, they could really be fighting a battle that you you never know about. You don’t know what the chemicals are telling them in their brain. You don’t know uh the trauma from their childhood. You don’t know everything they’ve been going through. And and that’s why it’s so important to be kind. It’s so important to ask people how they’re doing. It’s so important to tell people the resources around them and that therapy is okay as a man, therapy is okay as a woman. Like these are these things that we are that we need to go through because you never know what battle someone’s going through. And yeah, it’s just it’s hard. It’s tragic. It’s, you know, such a young life that should be here. And um you know, this is why mental health is so important. So many people struggle with it around the world and in our in our country on football teams and classrooms ages like if you look at the mental health statistics they start at the age of nine like kids are dying by nine at the age to suicide. Like we need like it’s something our whole nation needs to take seriously. Like get off social media believing everything is just like highlights. That’s not life. Life is about the adversity, the hard times, the sad times, the depression, the sadness, the anxiety. Like these are all feelings of human experience. So we just have to let people feel human and be human. Like it’s like that’s what we have to do cuz we’re it’s such a preventable death and we’re losing so many amazing people to it. People that should be here hugging their loved ones, spending birthdays with their loved ones, watching people get married, engaged. Like it’s it’s such a such a preventable death. And we just need as a nation to come together, be kind, put more funding into mental health resources, help people get to therapy, let people know it’s okay to cry, let people know it’s okay to not always put a smile on and be good. like let people know you can be sad and and and happy and still have a good day. You can you can cry, laugh, scream, and that could still be a good day. Like you don’t always have to be good. It’s okay not to be okay. These are things that everyone needs to know because we’re losing way too many people to this cause. Solomon Shotty talked a lot about the stories that have been shared between you guys about Marawn and you know some of the positives of that. How important has that been to be able to share some stories and is there any stories that you’ve heard that really stuck out to you? Uh, I mean it it’s been sweet to see a lot of people, you know, share the stories of Marshon. He impacted everyone on this team and it’s been really cool to hear his impact and and their happy memories and that’s what’s important in this time to, you know, share those happy moments of Marawn because this moment doesn’t does not does not define Marshall. Marshon was someone who someone who brought so much love and joy to so many people, who brought happiness to so many people. Um, you know, guys in the D line remember just laughing about all the jokes he used to tell. And personally for me, you know, as a vet, he was always coming up to me. I don’t know if he was searching for validation or he was just trying to be, you know, you know, a silly silly younger player, but he’d always be like, “Hey, Sally, like, you know, when the Super Bowl, can we get matching tattoos?” Or, you know, you know, if our if our kids are born at the same time, can they grow up as best friends? Just stuff like that. And um you know, it’s you know, he just he meant so much to so many. And it’s it’s you see it all over this team. Like I’m I’m on Instagram and I’m seeing you know this riding club in Dallas like this this dude wrote a whole paragraph about Marshon how how special he made him feel like a professional athlete like in a in a normal riding group with people like making people feel like you know they’re just as important as him like he gave that impact to people and it’s and you know just hearing the people speak at his at his visual was it was so impactful you know he meant so much to so many and we just keep keep living for him and keep living for his spirit. How do you escape how do you escape the grief and make this game important? And is playing a game an important milestone in getting past this and moving forward? Um well, first of all, you don’t escape grief. Grief never leaves you. Um grief is forever with you like and and as soon as you feel like you’re on top of grief, grief will hit you on on the head as hard as as hard as a rock. So, the first thing I’m telling guys is to honor themselves throughout this process. Don’t try to run away from the grief because the moment you run away from it, the bigger it gets and the more that will affect your performance. If you have to cry, cry. I’ll hold you up. Like if you have to go outside during meetings and just walk around, call your mom, do that. Like that’s what’s important right now. Feel that grief. Feel that pain. Cry, be angry, be confused cuz that’s what’s real. It’s not real to run away from your grief. So, as we’re moving forward for this game, like we’re going to feel the grief. You know, a lot of there’s going to be it’s going to be a very emotional game Monday. there’s going to be an absence of spirits that’s missing that’s going to hurt a lot of people and just make people realize that hey he he’s not here and make it feel even more real and that’s going to be really hard but in that process while feeling grief while feeling depressed while feeling anxious while going through loss you know we can still move forward in in in a way to honor Marawn by playing our best game and playing as hard as we can and moving a step forward um as a team for him and I and I I believe that’s what that’s what the process is is to not run away from your grief. Bring the grief with you. Cuz those emotions, you can use them for good. You can use them in the memory of Marshon. You can use them in the memory of how of how we used to play. Um, and it’s just what this game means. Like this game means so it’s so much more than a game. It’s stories. Like that’s why I love sports. Sports is so much more than just like guys throwing a football around. There’s so many beautiful stories in that locker room of guys overcoming grief bring bringing grief with them to play this game and from all over backgrounds uh differences and politics differences and values but we all come together for one goal and I think that’s going to be the the main thing for this game is bring those feelings from Marshan with you and and play for them. Thank you. Thank you. You just talk about the emotions in the moment following the news and and also what it meant to be asked to speak at his vision. Um, it’s definitely just shocking, you know what I mean? Like just being hit with like a wave of shock followed by just like heaviness in my heart, you know, and then just like, you know, back to that shock and just being like, damn, you know, um, meant a lot just, uh, having the honor of speaking on his behalf and just being able to honor him at the visual, you know, that was that was my little bro. like I love Marawn, you know, and and so being able to do that. I mean, it was tough, but like it was it was definitely an honor. What are you going to remember most about Marawn? A lot. You know what I mean? Like we had good laughs. Like we’d always joke, you know, a lot of like locker room jokes and stuff like that. uh a lot of moments in the training room and just knowing like that was someone like I respected a lot because I I pretty much live here and I’m I’m in the building a lot and that’s someone that I see in here often in those hours after after we all are done with our mandatory work. You mentioned he’s your little bro. Um how did your guys relationship grow from the time you met him? Um you know I just always encourage Marawn like um like I do with all the rookies. I just feel like he’s someone that like is receptive to stuff like that. And then like in terms of just like knowing the playbook and stuff like that, that was something that stuck out to me like when he came in and and just being a sponge and wanting to learn like what do you do for your body? Stuff like this, you know what I mean? Just like what do you do in the offseason, you know? Is there anything that that you do that just helps you a little bit extra? Just trying to find out stuff like that, you know? Um, and then just slowly but surely like he would start to open up to me a little bit, you know. Um, and and one of the people like one of one of his people after after the visual told me, you know, he’s kind of secluded. He doesn’t really say too much. Very private guy. Like if he opened up to you that meant he loved you, you know, and I know like and he even told me, I asked him, I was like, “Man, like you don’t really talk to too many people.” He’s like, “Yeah, I kind of like to just keep things lowkey. Like I only talk to like certain people, keep things real tight. So when you think back to Monday, how hard it was to get back here to come together to help each other cope, what will you remember most? Um just kind of like what we’re all saying like the the theme that we’re kind of moving forward with is just like don’t move on, but move forward. And then just three things that we have to do to to turn this hurt and this pain into something positive. You know, it’s just like supporting the fam forever, you know. Um Maran’s family is a part of the Cowboys family for life, investing in each other and leaning on each other to to get through this and uh continuing like our mission, you know, and and just knowing that we have to continue doing what we do and and and playing, but doing that with like a new purpose. Well, so you’re obviously a leader in the room, but how important has it been to have Solomon there and what kind of how has he been to guiding you guys forward? Um, Solomon is is great great to have in the room just in general, but like his experience with with this this uh something so heavy like suicide and just being able to share that with us and and and just give us words and and just knowing like this isn’t normal, you know, you don’t have to be okay, you know, and just and just constantly reminding us that he’s there for us and he loves the room and and just making sure we know that we don’t have to go through anything alone. we can always talk to him or anybody in the room and and just being there, you know. What was it like getting back on the field as a team today? Did that was it hard? Was it helpful for you? Um, it’s helpful for me personally. I feel like one kind of a busy body. So being able to like move around helps get some sort of normaly back and then just like I said continuing the mission you know and then and playing with a purpose for honoring Marawn and playing the way he did and just bringing that same love, passion and effort to the game. What does that look like in football terms trying to play in a way to honor Maran? um relentless, you know, Marawn did everything 110%. You know, and and that’s on and off the field like with the people that he loved, the the emotions that he felt like and and that translate to way he played just everything was 110%. Shotti’s talked about how, you know, he really values getting as much input from players as possible, especially with something like this and making decisions on how to honor him. What did those conversations look like as far as figuring out the decal, the t-shirts, and the other ways you honor him? Um, they definitely hit us up asking about the t-shirt designs and stuff like that. We helped pick those out. And then, um, you know, thing we talked about kind of immediately in the group chat is like after finding out that his girlfriend was pregnant and is pregnant, you know, it’s like we got to support her. That’s like the first thing that we did. And, you know, Shotti and and them got right on that. in terms of starting the Marshon Neand memorial fund. So, you know, how tough is it? You see this guy every day in your meetings and that kind of thing obviously individuals and and today you come out the practice or even the meeting today. How hard was it to say he’s not here today? It’s just crazy. You know what I mean? Just still something that I’m trying to wrap my head around. Like I was I was at my locker before practice and I looked up and I I felt like I saw him. I was like, “Oh no, that’s someone else.” And it just got to like it hits you. You know what I mean? Just like just moments like that. So it’s still still sinking in to be honest. Like it’s it’s still doesn’t feel all the way real, you know? When you think back on the conversations that you had with him when he got a little closer to him than most other people do, do you ever you look back and think was there something that he said to me would give me an idea like this? Um, like I I like I I’ve seen him get upset before, you know, and that’s why I know like Marawn was a sensitive guy like and and that’s why I’m like I know everything was 110% with him even his emotions like when he when he got upset he would be very upset, you know? So that was that was kind of the most that I knew. Okay. Hey, how y’all doing? Easy. Can you just talk about your emotions in the moments after you get in the news and and just also talk about what Marshawn meant to you? Yeah, obviously Marshawn a great person, great friend, great teammate. Um, emotions can’t, you know, it’s hard to, you know, relive that again. Um, but obviously they weren’t the best. Um, but kind of like what everybody’s been saying, you know, especially what Flo just said, you know, great individual and it’s is very sad incident that, you know, affected us, impacted us as a as a team. Um, but you know, like you said as well, you know, we want to play for Marawn. You know, we want to, you know, carry that along with us and honor him in whatever way possible. Obviously, you guys are in the same room and talk about the emotions of having those meetings together. How difficult is it just to go in a meeting room and he’s not there? Yeah, it’s it it is very difficult. And uh and Sie even mentioned that, you know, we’re going through something that’s not normal and, you know, we’re kind of trying to find a new normal in a way. Um and and it’s tough at the same time. You know, we we have to not move, you know, past the situation, but we have to, you know, move forward in this situation. Um like I said, playing for him, honor him in whatever way possible. But, you know, at the same time, we we still have to do our job. So, you also next to him in the locker room or right by him? Just what are you going to remember about him and what comes to mind when you think of the type of person he is, the smile that he always carried. He talked about him being playful, telling jokes. What kind of jokes would he tell? Um just you know the typical locker room teammate jokes. Nothing you know out of the ordinary. Nothing you know nothing too crazy. Shotti said that you had said some words to the team at one point and understandably so. A lot of you know this grieving process needs to stay private to y’all. Is there anything from that that you could share about how you tried to help your teammates? Um just you know that we all kind of go get through these things in different ways. uh we all kind of process things in different ways, but um we we have to do that together. Uh that’s the that’s the biggest thing. And it’s okay to process in different ways. It’s okay to, you know, go get through these things in different ways, but just know that, you know, you got your brother to lean on as well. Saw some people left flowers at his locker during the week last week. How hard has it been, I guess, for everyone to obviously go. Yeah, it’s it’s been very hard. It’s even hard talking about it now. Um and reliving it. Um but it like it’s has it’s been very hard for sure. Flo is very close to him. How you try to support him to say hey we got your back too. Shoot. The same way we support everybody in that locker room and everybody who’s been impacted and touched by the situation. Um brother we got you. You know we got your back. You know if you need to talk we do a little extra, you know, checking up on each other now which is sad that that has to be the reminder but you know that’s something that we have to do. So, Dak talked about how important it is just to be as together as a team during all this and how hard it was during the bye-week, but just how valuable has it been being together and seeing, you know, being there for each other. Yeah, it’s it’s really good, especially getting back on the grass today, uh, after not playing football for a couple of days, you know, due to the buy. Um, and that was that was for me that that helps me a lot, you know, because it kind of takes your mind off of, you know, the things that we go through off the field and, you know, we just got to lock in and focus on what we got going on on the field. So, day one shot. He’s made it clear how important culture is to him. You saw his emotions yesterday during his press conference. What has he meant to have during this week? Yeah. Uh, a lot of credit to coach Shotty and how he handled the situation and and how he’s continuing to handle handle the situation especially with this team. Um, he’s not afraid to be vulnerable with us and I think that’s that’s why, you know, he kind of, you know, invites us to do the same with him. Um, and, you know, a lot of credit to him. I respect the heck out of that guy. But, um, that’s that’s the culture, you know, that’s the the family environment that we have here and why we want to play for each other. So, what will Monday be like? Uh, I think it’s going to be a little it’s going to be emotional, of course. Um, at the same time, you know, I think it it it’s we’re we’re going to play for our brother, you know, who’s no longer with us. Um, so yeah, that’s all I can say today. Oh, man. I mean, it was shocking, honestly. you know, by week everybody home just waking up and just hearing that news is like shocking, honestly. Um, a lot of y’all know, uh, me and Maran came in together as rookies and, um, you know, my girls, um, my girls, so my wife and his girl, um, became close and, you know, we went on double dates and, you know, I’m just thinking, man, like the times we went on double dates, I just wish I would have told him like, we got to win in God. No matter how hard any life gets, just turn to God because I’m a I’m a witness. I didn’t read it in the Bible and I didn’t witness it in life. So, I just um man, rest in peace. All I could do is just play for him for sure. Were there any signs at all that you could remember? I know you’ve gone back in your mind many times. I’m sorry for asking that. Since y those double days, do you recall anything that give any indication they was feeling how he was feeling? Yeah. No, no. Um no signs at all. It was just a happy guy. just always smiling, always um cracking jokes, dancing, playing a lot, and you’ll never know. And that’s why, you know, it’s crazy, shocking. That’s why I said it was shocking. Monday night he gets the the touchdown. I don’t know if you had talked to him Tuesday or after, but what was the just the emotions of that and now we’re dealing with right now? No, it’s crazy. Just you could be high off life and, you know, just scoring an NFL touchdown, which a lot of people don’t do, and then, you know, be gone a couple days later. And I just I remember him scoring. I remember the play. Um me and Sam got back there. Sam blocked the punt and remember racing to the ball. I’m seeing Marawn running like a 42. I’m like I’m like dang. And then you know he beat me to the ball, got the touchdown and it was like we all cheering because you know as special teams we need that you know special teams, special players and he was a special player and it was it was just cool to see him get that that moment. And um like I said you know it was sad to see him go. has it been to be around teammates uh this week? Yeah, it’s super important just knowing that we loved each other. You know, even the um the candle lighting um we had a couple days ago was just joyful just to see how loved and respected he was. You know, just by hearing other players tell their stories and just say how um they impacted his life, you know, impacted their lives and um man, Marshon’s going to be missed for sure. Is there a story you had about him that you shared or is there something that sticks out to you when you think about Moran and your relationship with him? Um just the the playfulness, you know, um just a playful guy, you know, any any like in the locker room just just jokes and um like I said, me and him went on double dates um kind of came close and um training camp, you know, going to LA together with our girls, you know, walking the strip and um you know, it’s just like like I said, I just wish I could have talked to him about God more, you know, as a Christian. I feel like I’m a Christian and um I feel like I should have just, you know, instilled that in his brain, you know. Um but and I used the opportunity to tell my fellow teammates how uh we have a winning God and I wanted to use that opportunity to talk about um just you know how God would never fail us in in a team meeting. Ryan, you mentioned the the double dates and getting to know his girlfriend a little bit. Um Shotti, you know, told us that there’s a fun setup and you know, you guys plan on supporting her. What has been the message to her about the intention of this group to support her? Oh, for sure that she’s not alone. um you know um he’s expect she’s expecting the child and we want her and that child to never need you know um Marshan was a great guy he would been a fantastic dad and just for that unborn child to know that his pops was loved and um you know the team is doing great um me and my wife been trying to do everything to give Kolina her space and just and um support her um financially and just with love, you know. Um, that’s just what’s that’s really what it is right now. A lot of guys have talked about trying to play in honor of Marawn in in your description. What does that look like, man? Just playing for from love and not for love, you know? Um, Maron love the game. You can see by his play style, just how his motor was. Every play he just going fast and that’s what we’re going to bring this this Monday night and throughout the whole season. just playing for him, just playing for 94 cuz you know he would love to be on that field playing with us and having been so close to him. Um that that will obviously be the approach on the field off the field. How do you feel is the best way to honor him going forward? Man, just to um just to just um let people know that let others know that they are love, you know, um situation and how it was handled. Um, I just want people to know that they’re loved and that they’re not alone. Mental health is is a real thing. You know, sometimes we can be like we have nobody to call on and sometimes we do. And it’s it’s tough to to feel alone in that moment and to to just make that moment that’s permanent, you know? And um I just want to let people know, man, if y’all going through anything, man, just lean on your loved ones. Lean on God. And um um yeah, that’s that’s how outside of football, just, you know, that’s how it is. Ryan Shotty said Monday night will obviously be really emotional. He said today like he wants to give you guys every detail so you can expect what’s coming with the honoring Marsh and the moment of silence. But still, like, how hard do you think that will be to go from the moment of silence to trying to play a football game? Man, just just knowing honestly just knowing that everybody prayed to play football that’s in this building that’s um that’s on the team just to sacrifice a lot to play. And you know, playing for Marawn is is what we got to do. Like, you know, we want to win. We want to play the best, no mistakes. And you know, just hold Marshan in our hearts while we play is give us fuel. You know, give us a little bit of motivation. You know, that moment of silence is to honor his life. And um we got we just go out there and play for him like, you know, just play with the the mindset he always had, you know, just you know, just watching watching the um video they had up there on the board and just seeing how he was having fun and just having fun with it. just having that monster to us um to him and just that’s how we got to play and I feel like that after that moment of silence we’ll feel that and feel his spirit. Thank you very much man. Hop tribute

Dallas Cowboys players met with the media following Thursday’s practice to share memories and reflect on the life of Marshawn Kneeland.

0:00 Solomon Thomas
12:10 Osa Odighizuwa
18:38 Donovan Ezeiruaku
22:47 Ryan Flournoy

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