BS Analysis Toronto Maple Leafs Recap 25/26 Season Game 31. Oilers 6 – Leafs 3

BS Analysis Toronto Maple Leafs Recap 25/26 Season Game 31. Oilers 6 – Leafs 3

All right, it’s Bill here and here’s my thoughts on a 6-3 victory for the Edmonton Oilers over the Toronto Maple Leafs. It’s Saturday night. The Edmonton Oilers I got a good laugh before the game started. The Edmonton Oilers went and got another goalie that isn’t going to lead him to no promised land. Tristan Jerry, good luck Edmonton with that goalie. But anyways, let me get into the game. So, this game starts and I’m pissed off to begin off. I’m just pissed off. I don’t know why I was pissed off. I just was generally pissed off before the game started and it grew and it grew and it grew. First of all, I don’t know. Uh Oliver Ekman Larson I saw at the end of the last game I I don’t know. Did he sell a soul to the devil? I was shocked to see him on the ice. He scored a goal. He was terrible for the rest of the night, but I was shocked to see him back. That was a good surprise. So, when I see Ecman Larson on the ice, I was frustrated to begin that I was feeling a little bit better. And then we start the game. The third highest paid player on the ice, Conor McDavid, scores the first goal. I It pains me to si to say what I just said. Conor McDavid. Now, I was already telling you last game thinking they didn’t even have Ecman Larson what McDavid was going to do to the Leafs. And what do the Leafs do? So, we have Ecman Larson. I think, okay, we’re going to get by. The third highest paid player on the ice is Conor McDavid in this game. Austin Matthews is he’s he’s a defensive third center. I I could we just call it a day with this guy? His back injury just retire already, bud. Ineffective. I is giving you praise. You had Conor McDavid, $12.5 million run this game. He ran the show. I get it. He’s in Toronto. Good. He’s going to put on a show. Woo. Good for him. He gets paid $1 million less than you do. What was the the salary? 13 point. Sorry, 750,000 less than you do. And Matthews did nothing all game. Nothing. Nothing. Nada. And how did that goal get scored? Well, here’s how the goal got scored. Bill, dial it up there, buddy. I’ll dial it up for you. Nick Wah, some guy who was supposed I watched this guy play when Vegas won the cup. I watched him. He was an effective thirdline center. He hit everything that moved. So when we got him, I thought, Jesus, that’s not bad considering Mitchie Boyano’s agent was doing a little under the table bull nonsense. I’m sure Mitchie does it, too. We get this guy for free basically gets the secondary assist on this play. Nick Wah passes it to Evan Bousard. That’s not a good thing because Evan Bousard plays for the other team. And by the way, he’s a lazy defenseman. So the fact he picked up your pass, he wasn’t that far away to begin with and gives it to McDavid who just goes to the net with unimpeded to the net breakaway. Morgan skates the other way. He goes the opposite way of where McDavid’s going. I want to take Riley and and just please for the love of everything that’s holy in this world. Get rid of this guy. Okay, I’m going to I’m going to give you the explanation. Okay, there’s guys like Ben Wis and Ecman Larson. When they’re in front of the net or when they’re defending, they at least give it a goddamn effort. Today I’m at some goddamn plaza. Probably why I’m in a bad mood. I’m in a plaza and in this plaza they had a little dance studio. I’m pretty sure I saw Knander walk out of it. Probably got sick. Hey, he was sick before the game. didn’t have White Claws. He switched over to to sandbaggers. I have no idea what he switched over to. But this lady parks in the middle of the parking lot. An idiot lady. An a-hole lady. So, I can’t pass her. And she’s looking at me like I’m an idiot. You’re in the middle of the parking lot. You’re not in a parking spot. I’m not the idiot in this situation. Oh, but heaven forbid she had to load stuff off into the dance studio. Some tutus and some ballet shoes. You might as well give them the Willie Styles. But that’s the way you’re supposed to play defense. That’s the way Aman Larson plays defense. That’s the way Ben Wall plays defense. Hell, unless he shoots it in his own net. Stature plays defense. Sort of like that. Just not big enough. But you impede people from getting to the net. Just like this lady impeded me from leaving the parking lot today. You impede people from getting there. Morgan Riley is a goddamn usher. Oh, sir, where’s your ticket? Oh, your tickets to the front of the net. Well, there you go, sir. Go down there. Uh, two rows down, three seats on the right. That’s your seat right there. Oh. Uh, McDavid, would you like to go to the net unimpeded? Well, let me let me do this for you. I’ll skate the other way while you skate right down Broadway. And this Craig Strongbo piece of garbage coach we have keeps throwing away the ice. I’ve got some festive cheer, people. I’m drinking some eggnog and rum tonight. I don’t know why. It’s one- nothing three minutes into this game. And okay, the Leafs aren’t out of it yet, but I’m Hill to be standing on his head. Surprise, surprise. First period, our goalie’s got to stand on his head. Never heard that before in 31 games. But the Leafs do score a goal. Scotty2 Rotten. I’m going to give you a Scotty Tu rotten report tonight. Your Scotty too rotten report’s pretty good actually. Scotty, considering it was a 6-3 game. I’m not going to say much about you tonight, bud. Your Scotty two rotten report. 0 one one two plus two in a 6-3 loss. He’s plus two. And he got 14 minutes of ice time while a son of a [ __ ] like Johnny T gets 17. Knander, well, Knander didn’t get a lot. Minus three, boys. Good game. Scotty Too hottie. Scotty too ratting. Takes it to the net. Cowan bangs it home. By the way, Cowan was disgusting all night, but he scores this goal. How many giveaways does this kid get to do? Well, everyone gave the puck away today. Now, if I’m not mistaken, and I just checked, I don’t think I’ve ever seen this before, but every single player on the Edmonton Oilers had a shot on net tonight. Every I’m not I’m going to repeat my goddamn self. Every player for the Edmonton Oilers had a shot on net tonight. Yeah. Well, the Leafs tied at 1-1 going into the second period and I felt what what did I feel? I’m just waiting for McDavid to take over the game. That’s all I was waiting for. But the Leafs came out in the second period and played okay. They played okay. And then there was a nice little give and goes all over the place. Nice, who played horrible in the first period, showed up in the second period, and he forgot to show up in the third period, but the whole freaking goddamn team didn’t show up in the third period. In the second period, they had some good pressure. Nice did some good battling. Matthews took the puck to Doi. Doi shot it. back to N. Back to Larson who sold the soul to the devil to get back into this game. Sold my soul for rock and roll. Listen to some Black Sabbath. I’m going to throw some Aussie on after this. And Ekman Larson makes it 2-1. I’m like, whoa. And then they got a couple penalties and and and and Hild to be standing on his head. I’m like, we’re going to steal this game, aren’t we? There’s a potential we could steal this game. No, no, no, no. We’re not going to do that. We’re going to give the puck away to Conor McDavid. I mean, if you pick the guy on the team that you want to you want the puck to give to, just give it to McDavid. Nothing bad happens from that point. Who goes around fakes everyone out, even Ster puts a right on Sters. You know, I love when a when a guy scores a goal against his ex team. I love it. Except for when he scores it on his own goddamn neck. Stetcher buries it in the corner. The Edmonton Oilers couldn’t beat Hill to be at the time, but Stetcher could and buries it in 2-2. And what was the time left? 31 seconds left in the period. And Nick Robertson, who frankly I I an an example of how the Leafs, you see Eastston Cowan today? Anyone see East Cowan? You watch an Eston Cowan playing. The Leafs will turn him into Nikki. Bobby Bobby Nikki. Bobby whatever. Bobby again. How the hell is your brother seven inches taller than you? I got guesses on the milkman. Just my guesses. Throws a blind pass in front of the net. Now, I love how I’m going to get into Craig Simpson and whoever the Chris Cuthbert [ __ ] like announcers that don’t even pay attention. They harp on Nikki Bobby, but they totally forgot about Nick Wah handing the puck over in the first period. I guess Nick Wah gets away with it, but Nicki Bobby with a back behind the back out front of his net. At least when he did it, it was 270 feet away from the net, not 210 or whatever the [ __ ] blue line is. At the beginning of this game, this idiot Craig Simpson, I don’t know what he gets paid. I don’t know what him and Chris Guthrie get paid. They mentioned that Tristan Jerry got pulled the last time that the Leafs played the Pittsburgh Penguins. I mean, these these guys just called this game four weeks ago or three weeks ago. Do they not remember that the goalie was Arthur Siliv in net that got pulled and Jerry went in? No. These guys just spout facts that aren’t facts. Fire them. If you went and did your job the same way that that prick just did his job, again, I’m frustrated. It probably Who cares? It doesn’t bug It obviously bugs me, but it it means nothing to the game. But we have announcers that are saying things that are complete freaking lies. They’re not facts. And they called the game three weeks ago. I just watched it. They called it. They get paid to call it. I watch it. No one pays me to watch it. Trust me, I don’t want to. I shouldn’t get paid to watch it. And they’re talking about Jerry getting pulled in that game. Uh, no. It was Silops, dudes. Was that pissed me off, too? I don’t know why it pissed me. Pissed me off. Listen to these nonsense [ __ ] Throw Joe Bowen and Harry Neil at I don’t know what Harry Neil’s doing. Let them call the game on a hell. I’ll take great Well, no, I can’t anymore. Trying to think of good elite announcers. There was that one horrible one that Jigs McDonald that was disgusting. I’ll take a Joe Bowen and Harry Neil if I can. What’s Harry doing now? I don’t know. Anyways, Nikki Bobby throws it in front of his net and Conor McDavid, not 10 seconds later, skates down the ice, gives it to dry side all over to Darn Darnell Nurse buries it home to make it 3-2. Those are killers. 31 seconds left in the period. And the Leafs come out in the third period. Festive beliefs come out in the third period and don’t even give a goddamn effort. Not a little effort, not a stride. In one minute and 21 seconds into the period, some guy named Vasel Paul Colosan Paul Colosan scores. And not 34 seconds later, Vasili Podcloin scores another one. The same people were on the ice for the lease. Would you like to know who they are? Jonathan, William Knander, Bobby McMahon, Ecman Larson, and Morgan Ra. I’m not a coach, you know. I’m not a coach in the NHL. Not not not one of them. But I’m going to go on a goddamn limb. Just a limb, folks. Leon Dryidle matched up against Janity is like having a chinup contest with Rambo against that big girl from Precious, the movie Precious. How’d it go? I told you you’re Jad’s ter [Music] 0 0 minus three 22 16 minutes of ice time. Oh yeah, Riley, 21 minutes of ice time. No contact hockey, Usher. Uh, row 72, C3. There you go. Take you to your seat, sir. Can I get you some popcorn? Can I get you some Pampers? You want a little pompom? That’s how really plays defense. Well, that’s how you play defense on the second pause Alaskan goal. Gets down. He gets down in like that Tessa virtue mode. Sticky, sticky, sticky, sticky. Meanwhile, the guy just sticks it between his legs. All he had to do is take the guy’s stick. That’s all Riley had to do. Now, all Larson had to do was get him out of the crease. Poor Hildabby stops the puck, hits the guy, and goes in the net. Then he has that one. And then the sixth goal. The six goal is special. It is special. Heyman got it. See how an ex X ex player got a goal, but he scored it on their net, not our net. See how that works. Heyman, that goal tells you everything you need to know about the Leafs. You had Knander 11.5. That guy makes $1 million less than Conor McDavid. The guy who owned the game. The guy who took over the game. Johnny T used to make only 1.5 million less than that guy. They blow the zone because they got the puck. We’re going to get out of the zone, guys. Y we go. You don’t get the zone cuz one guy just lifts your stick and and Willie, you know, you know, he heaven forbid Willie, he’s a little sick. He’s got the little tummy little tummy ache. I didn’t have weight loss today. I had like the uh what’s it? Smearing off ISIS. I had to smear off ISIS today. It turns into a disaster play. Breakaway in front of the net. Hilderby makes a save. Comes back out. No one takes anybody looking at the puck and Heyman bangs it home. They pull Hill to be for the guy’s going to have 100% save percentage this year. Act me I yak me hack me off. Yeah yeah hack me off. Well he’s got 100% save percentage. That’s a good thing. I don’t know what to say. And then at the end of the game Steve Lorent gets a goal. Steve Lorent plus two tonight. 11 minutes of ice time. Lton plus two. 14 minutes of ice time. The iron kacker still was minus one. Added nothing to the game. Matthews did absolutely nothing tonight. 17 minutes of ice time. He did nothing. Conor McDavid took over this game and nothing the Leafs could do about it. Now, should I get so upset? Why am I so upset? Why am I so upset? I’ve got guys like Benois working his ass off. That Henry Thrun, I mean, he was fine. Zero plus he was 15 minutes of ice time. He was fine. McCabe tried his ass off. Ben tried his Stcher tried his ass off. I don’t know what Stchcher was. What’s Stcher? I know he scored on himself, but he got an assist for us, too. So, okay. 22 minutes of ice time. Stcher worked his ass off. plus zero. But we’ve got really Neilander, Matthews, DOY. What can I say? I’m going to go and maybe watch another hockey game. I don’t know what I’m probably going to go to bed, actually. Get up and watch some darts. I’m more excited to watch darts tomorrow. This team is a effing joke. The fact that McDavid just he makes 750,000 less than Matthews. One more for the road, folks. Cheers.