Local cat owner Aaron Gleeman posted a survey on The Athletic, a sports website run by a leading smartphone gaming company, asking Minnesota Twins fans how they’re feeling right now.
It’s a valid line of questioning, after the double whammy of a trade deadline fire sale and the announcement that the Pohlad family would retain control of the team. And the short survey covers the expected territory, asking for opinions on the front office, manager Rocco Baldelli, and ownership.
However, some fans claim there are errors in the survey that may prevent the survey from giving an entirely accurate gauge of the fan base’s emotional well-being, or lack thereof.
“At no point in this survey did they ask about my blank, baseline sadness,” said Julia Gibbons, 49, of Shoreview. “I don’t even watch the games anymore. I just look at the box score in the morning and stare at the kitchen wall. I forget to drink my coffee. It gets cold. I’m too numb to ache. Yet still, I ache.”
“It asked me to give a letter grade to ownership, from A to F,” said Brady Thomasson, 37, of Northfield. “What’s the letter for ‘endless, anguished screaming,’ Aaron? I can’t find a letter for that. I scream, and neither Aaron nor God will listen.”
“One question asked if I thought Pablo López and Joe Ryan would be traded,” said Ron Abbotsford, 71, of Ham Lake. “It didn’t ask if I thought they’d also trade (top prospect) Walker Jenkins before or after they manipulated his service time. It didn’t ask me if they’d come to my house, take my videocassettes of every 1991 World Series game, and urinate on them. It didn’t ask me why I’m crying all the time now.”
The Athletic said they will release the results after the Labor Day holiday. The Twins open a 7-game homestand on Friday versus the San Diego Padres. The games will be started by a bunch of relievers you’ve never heard of in your life and will never hear of again.
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