I’ve been a Pokemon fan for just as long as I’ve been a Red Sox fan. With the release of Pokemon Legends Z-A for the Nintendo Switch and Nintendo Switch 2 today, I thought it could be fun to match up Red Sox players with their Pokémon counterparts and put a team together. Note that all of these counterparts are purely vibes-based. Also note that this team would assuredly be terrible in-game. Either way, let’s get started!

Garrett Crochet – Pignite

This pairing was really the genesis for this entire piece, as while I was racking my brain trying to figure out which starter Pokémon I would choose, I remembered that we all call Garrett Crochet the pig. Some of you will point out that Pignite is only the middle stage of his evolution line, with the royal Emboar being the final evo. And while yes, Emboar is stronger than Pignite, I felt it was necessary for whatever Pokemon I chose for Garrett to actually have“P-I-G” in its name. Of course, there are some other pig Pokemon that I could have gone with. Lechonk, Grumpig, and Piloswine, to name a few. But with Crochet being a flame thrower, the Tepig/Pignite/Emboar line just felt right.

In honor of Trevor putting up the Red Sox’ first 25 home run/25 stolen bases season since Mookie Betts did it in 2018, I wanted to choose a Pokemon that had power and speed. With tremendous attack and speed stats, the dual dark and ice type Weavile was the perfect choice. Many people didn’t really like Weavile when it was revealed as the evolution of Sneasel, but I think people came around on it. Kind of similar to Trevor Story on the Red Sox. So there’s also that.

Alex Bregman – Kangaskhan

If you spent any time last season following me (@JakeWallinger) or my podcast (@PodOnLansdowne) on X – The Everything App, you’ll know that I got a lot of mileage out of the “Preggy 4 Breggy” meme. Every single time Bregman homered, I would post some crude DeviantArt-esque drawing of a pregnant cartoon character. I guess writing it out like that now does give me some pause. It was weird that I did that. Anyway, there’s only one Pokemon that runs around with a little infant version of itself: Kangaskhan!

Ceddanne Rafaela – Aggron

Similar to Trevor Story/Weavile, I wanted to give Ceddanne a Pokemon that really represented what he does well. Considering that he is a virtual lock for a Gold Glove and a very likely candidate for the Platinum Glove, I looked to the defense stat. Three Pokemon share the claim of having the highest defense stat: Shuckle, Steelix, and Aggron. Now, I have my love for Shuckle and Steelix but, come on. Aggron is sick as hell. And that’s how I feel about my centerfielder Ceddanne Rafaela. He’s sick as hell.

Get it? Because his name is Throh. And Aroldis Chapman throws. The baseball. He throws the baseball really fast. I’ll be frank, I was running pretty thin on ideas at this point.

This one was tough. I felt like I had to figure out a Pokemon match for our beautiful boy Roman, even if nothing was immediately clear. He’s the face of the franchise, for goodness’ sake! Then it hit me. That’s just it! He’s the face of the franchise! And who is the face of the Pokemon franchise? Pikachu! Easy. BUT! Not so easy. Roman Anthony is a little baby boy. Just 21 years of age! And THEN it hit me again! Pikachu has a baby pre-evolution. Pichu! So I chose that little 1’0”, 4.4 pound rascal to represent our 6’3”, 200 pound Adonis.

How does the team look? Maybe I’ll make it in-game next week.