MLB Commission Rob Manfred noted this week that the Pohlad family’s sale of non-controlling shares of the Minnesota Twins to unnamed limited partners continues to move forward.

Although there was no update about who the partners are or how long the sale process would play out, sources familiar with the negotiation process say the Pohlads are asking the limited partners how many Delta SkyMiles they have, as well as their access to the exclusive Delta Sky Lounge.

“We really thought that by operating lean and keeping payroll in check, we’d be in a spot to get back to profitability,” said a front office source. “Unfortunately, this will be the third Thanksgiving in a row where the Pohlad grandchildren and great-grandchildren won’t be able to have a money fight on the front lawn of their Boca Raton winter house. The best way to make sure they don’t suffer such deprivation in 2026 is working smarter, not harder. That’s where Delta comes in.”

“The jackboots in the league office say you still have to fly your players to road games even if they’re below replacement-level,” said a source in the team’s advanced metrics department. “That’s a lot of money for not a lot of ball player. The way you beat that is in the margins. The Dodgers and Yankees can pay for that stuff. We can have the limited partners drop the credit card benefits hammer and the next road trip is basically free. Especially if each player brings a Tupperware container to the lounge so they can load up on hummus and club sandwiches to go.”

When asked if he thought about how this would impact the on-field product, the source started laughing so hard that his face turned crimson red before he began to cough and cry. Then he started laughing again, even louder, somehow.

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