Every year, Twins Daily looks at the best Black Friday deals in the Minnesota Twins Company Store. These were graded the best by our panel of retail experts (RandBall’s Stu, John Bonnes, John Bonnes’s dog, and the ghost of Pa Ingalls).
Trevor Larnach. For those baffled by Minnesota re-signing a lefty outfielder for a team loaded with them, the team seems to be admitting there was a mistake on their end.
“We sort of don’t have any money and sort of maybe weren’t paying attention to all the paperwork,” said a front office source. “If you want to buy Larnach from us for what we paid, that’s super cool. Plus, he’s housebroken.”
Derek Shelton’s Insulting Nickname: Origins. Maniac Twins fan Greggory T. Masterson is offering subscribers a behind-the-scenes look as he crafts a successor to Rockhead, his withering nickname for former Twins manager Rocco Baldelli.
“Derek Shouldquit is my current favorite,” said the towering 7-footer. “But by no means is this contest over.”
A Mystery Twin Cities Office Building. Inspired by holiday grab bags with unknown items inside, the Pohlad family is offering a surprise office building in the Twin Cities for the low price of $8 million (cash only).
“If you ever wanted to own a constantly depreciating building with an absurdly high vacancy rate, there’s never been a better time,” per a family spokesperson.
A Laminated List of Every Twins Pitcher from August 1, 2025 to the End of the Season. Win bar bets and fascinate other fans with your deep knowledge of who the hell even pitched for the Twins after the 2025 trade deadline. Did Steve Bedrosian throw an inning of relief, even though he has been retired for many, many years? The only way to know is to buy this attractive card, which fits in most billfolds, clutches, and men’s crossbody bags.
Joe Ryan, Pablo López, and Bailey Ober Jerseys.
“What do you mean, no other players jerseys are on sale,” asked a retail store employee. “These Byron Buxton jerseys are also discounted.”
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