Is the offseason over yet? It’s starting to feel like the Detroit Tigers and their fans will be very glad once it is. On the one hand, Scott Harris hasn’t done much of anything, except welcome Gleyber Torres back into the fold via the qualifying offer. On the other hand, the Tigers have a lot of needs they have to solve this winter.

But none of that seems to matter. All of the focus is on Tarik Skubal. So far, we’ve heard that there’s a $250 million gap between Skubal and Detroit, except not really. We’ve heard the reasons why the Tigers would come out as losers in any potential trade. We’ve been led to believe that an extension won’t happen, but at the same time, Jeff Passan has clued us in on the fact that Skubal loves pitching in Detroit and is a huge fan of the Tigers organization.

We’ve seen folks break down the math on how Detroit can afford to give Skubal the $400 million it will take to keep him in the fold long-term. We’ve heard from Skubal himself about how none of these numbers are real. The mock trades? They’re out of the whazoo!

Is your head spinning yet? It should be. The latest update takes the cake, and it will have you ready to rip your hair out.

Ken Rosenthal “updates” Tigers fans on Tarik Skubal situation before Winter Meetings

MLB insider Ken Rosenthal appeared on Foul Territory to throw his two cents in on the Skubal dilemma. What he had to say will drive you mad.

Tarik Skubal and Freddy Peralta won’t be traded unless the Tigers and Brewers are really pushed to move them, says @Ken_Rosenthal. pic.twitter.com/aSDhAdgV9J

— Foul Territory (@FoulTerritoryTV) December 1, 2025

To paraphrase Ken, the Tigers want to win with Skubal, and therefore, they won’t trade him. However, after the free-agent dominoes really begin to fall, the team left without a dance partner might get desperate and blow the Tigers away, in which case they will trade Skubal. The Tigers will listen, but they don’t want to move him, but they can’t say no to a Godfather-esque offer either.

Translation: the Tigers aren’t trading Skubal until they trade Skubal. No offense, Ken, but umm, no duh?

Legendary NFL coach and general manager Bill Parcells once said that he’d even trade his wife for the right price, and that’s the point that we’ve reached here with Skubal. There are only a handful of players in the entire league who would be considered equivalent swaps for Skubal, and none of them are getting traded.

To that end, any Skubal move comes down to a quantity over quality argument, with the sheer number of assets overwhelming the Tigers and forcing a deal to happen. Short of that, Detroit will gladly hang on to the world’s best lefty and try its hand at re-signing him in free agency next year.

Until then, consider him Schrödinger’s Skubal, both on the verge of being traded and never being moved at the same time. Until further notice.