It’s no secret that the 2025 Orioles offense underperformed. For all the talent on the roster, which helped the team win 192 games from 2023-24, things did not gel. None of us knows exactly why both the vibes and the performance were lackluster, but I know one thing that would help: Kyle Schwarber.

Look, I’m not delusional. The Orioles are not going to sign Schwarber. He is projected to get a four or five-year contract worth $27-$30 million per year. He will turn 33 years old during Spring Training, and at this point in his career, he is a full-time DH. None of this jives with the kind of player we expect Mike Elias to sign.

But on the other hand, Schwarber is so cool. He mashes the ball! He gets on base like crazy. His vibes are off the charts. Signing him would give a huge boost to the lineup and the clubhouse. He has oodles of postseason experience dating back to 2015, during which he has crushed it. In 73(!) postseason games, Schwarber has a .907 OPS with 23 home runs.

Schwarber was drafted by the Chicago Cubs and, after several up-and-down years, was non-tendered after the 2020 season. The Washington Nationals picked him up, and since then he has been a monster at the plate. It is not an exaggeration to say that he is one of the top hitters in all of baseball and has been for the last five seasons.

In four seasons with the Phillies, Schwarber hit 187 home runs. His lowest season total in that span was 38. In 2025, he hit 56. And they weren’t cheap shots. As measured by Statcast, 30 of his home runs would have been gone in all 30 ballparks, and another 29 were homers in between 8-29 parks. A lefty batter, he is built for the Camden Yards flag court and Eutaw Street.

But he doesn’t just hit home runs! He gets on base too. His OBP in 2025 was .365. In 2024, it was .366. In his career, it’s .346. The 2025 Orioles had a team OBP of .305 with just three players over .340 (two of them were traded to the Padres).

Because he is mostly a full-time DH at this point (he does dabble in the outfield a bit, but the less seen the better), Schwarber is not going to be a player who racks up the WAR. So if you choose to look at it that way, how much value could he really bring? I am generally a fan of WAR, but in this case it seems like it doesn’t measure the impact of the player. That’s how good his bat is. It’s a literal game changer.

As the roster is currently instructed, the Orioles seem like they’ll be doing a combo of catcher, first base, and DH with Adley Rutschman, Samuel Basallo, Ryan Mountcastle, and Coby Mayo. Schwarber is so much better at the plate than every single one of those players. If the Orioles plugged him in at DH and dropped Mountcastle or Mayo (I prefer to lose Mounty), they could easily manage three players between catcher, first base, and the bench. And they would be so much better for it.

Yes, Schwarber is aging. And the age will catch up to him at some point. It comes for us all. But having him at DH will limit some of that damage. And to this point, he doesn’t look like he’s lost a step. If you check out his Statcast page, it’s a sea of red. His strikeout numbers aren’t great, which doesn’t matter when he does everything else so well.

There is so much promise to the Orioles’ lineup, especially in the infield with Gunnar Henderson, Jordan Westburg, and Jackson Holliday. But so far, it’s been more promise than reality aside from Henderson. Schwarber is all reality. Having him in the lineup would make everything so much better.

And those vibes I mentioned earlier? Players love Kyle Schwarber. Fans love him, and he loves the fans. With the Phillies, he was a big personality in a dugout full of players who had big personalities and big expectations. Schwarber lived up.

I like a lot of the Orioles and they can be better than they showed last year. But something just felt like it was missing in the clubhouse. Maybe it felt that way because they were losing, or maybe they lost because it felt that way. Whatever the reason, throwing a guy like Schwarber into the mix seems to almost be a guarantee that things would change in a hurry.

As incredible as it would be for the Orioles to sign him, there are many obstacles. The biggest one is the Phillies. By all accounts, they want to retain Schwarber, and Schwarber has given no indication that he wants to play anywhere other than there. If the two teams want to reunite, who is to stop them?

There is also the issue of the Orioles. They don’t sign players to big contracts, or at least they haven’t in quite some time. Could Schwarber be the kind of player that gets Mike Elias to change his ways? I hope so, but somehow I doubt it.

As I said at the top of this story, the Orioles are not going to sign Kyle Schwarber. If Elias wants to prove me wrong, I will gladly eat the crow. But if they did go outside the box, outside of their comfort zone, and go after this guy? It would not only be a big improvement to the team, but it would also signify a change in the way Mike Elias does business. It would be totally incredible and the signing alone would shift the team vibes before Schwarber even reported to spring training.