The Chicago White Sox have claimed 28-year-old lefthander Ryan Rolison, a day after the Atlanta Braves DFA’d him to make room for Robert Suarez.

Rolison was selected in the first round of the 2018 draft by the Colorado Rockies, which just has to be the most extreme sort of “good news/bad news” call a pitcher could ever receive. He’s struggled with shoulder issues in both 2022 and 2023 but pitched well enough in Triple-A this season to earn himself some run with the major league club.

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That run did not go great. Rolison posted a 7.02 ERA with a 2.3 HR/9 in 42 1/3 innings. But it’s happening for Colorado, and I feel the same way about Rockies pitchers as I do whenever I see a three-legged dog: You poor thing, I’m rooting for you!

Pitch Breakdown

Dr. Savant, the only free physician currently working in the United States, has diagnosed Rolison with having a busted-ass, useless fastball. It hovers around league average velo and it’s straighter than the self-image of every dude who just has to bring up Die Hard as his favorite Christmas movie. A reliever cannot survive in the major leagues with a primary pitch like this, full stop.

That’s not to say the cupboard is bare. Rolison does have a useful curveball that drops 11.4 inches on average. That’s comparable to Shane Smith’s curve (11.6´´) and is 1.8´´ better than league average for lefthanders.

Rolison’s tertiary pitch is the most intriguing. He has a wicked drop slider that breaks downward 4.1´´ more than average while also maintaining good horizontal movement. The downward break is drastic enough that it appears to the batter as a downward breaking ball; the average slider looks like it’s rising two inches, but Rolison’s appears to be dropping by that same amount. It’s a really intriguing pitch, enough to wonder whether the Sox will ask him to feature it more — or even use it as a primary pitch and have Rolison work backwards, a la Dylan Cease.

The other possibility (which we must always must always consider whenever Brian Bannister gets a new pitcher who can supinate his arm and seemingly nothing else) is that the Sox may try to teach Rolison a kick changeup. Rolison tried messing around with a changeup last year until it got absolutely smacked for an 108.6 mph single by the Yankees’ Jasson Dominguez on May 24. That doesn’t sound so bad until you learn that it was the hardest-hit ball in a 13-1 Yankees romp, and then you begin to understand why Rolison basically abandoned it afterwards.

I can squint and see a version of Ryan Rolison where he adopts the kick changeup (AKA the supinator’s best friend) and he works that effectively off his slider to the point where he’s a useful bullpen arm. Or maybe the Sox think they can unlock some extra velo and movement in his fastball.

Or maybe he’ll be waived before Spring Training! Who knows, man. It’s December and waiver wire transactions are only for the sickos.