Dear Santa,
I hope you get this letter. We’ve been very good this year in Milwaukee – okay, maybe we swore too much in the middle of October – but otherwise very good! We’ve been patient and supportive – more than 2.5 million of us showed up for the third straight year. We love beating the Cubs, but we really want to make history next year. We don’t need much – we’re pretty set on a lot of things most fan bases need. So if it’s not too much to ask, here’s a small list of things we’d like, please:
A statement of intent to go all-in! Just slip that in Mark’s stocking, please.
Freddy Peralta as our Opening Day Starter. Please let him stay in Milwaukee this winter!
One additional big power bat. We haven’t had a 30 home run hitter in three of the last five years, and we will need more power next fall!
Good health in the coming year. Especially for Brandon Woodruff, William Contreras, and Christian Yelich. And especially in September/October. You can help with shoulders, lats, backs, and broken fingers – right?
Continued growth from our young lads:
August Brice Turang for a whole season – 30/30!
Jackson Chourio with a little more patience leading to a lot more power – 30/30!
The Miz walking fewer batters while continuing to do Miz things
Quinn Priester and Chad Patrick locking in as excellent mid-rotation caliber starters
Caleb Durbin turning into a Gold Glove third baseman and an on-base machine
Joey Ortiz winning a Gold Glove and remembering that he was an above-average hitter as recently as 2024
Lots of innings and strikeouts for the many talented young pitchers working their way through the minor leagues.
Cooper Pratt, Jesus Made, Luis Pena, and Brady Ebel being the best collection of shortstops at every level of the minor leagues from Triple-A to Single-A
A bright new glove for Abner Uribe. Maybe fuchsia!
A big trade deadline acquisition! We don’t know exactly what we will want – but we want it!
Not to be greedy – but we need a fourth straight Central Division championship. It’s kind of a prerequisite for our last two wishes (like batteries for remote-controlled gifts). We promise not to take it for granted and to be thankful.
We’d love to beat the Dodgers in the NLCS – they bullied us this year, and they squeaked past us in 2018. They’ve been pushing everyone around for a couple of years now, and we think lots of people, even outside of Milwaukee, would find joy in us receiving this gift.
Finally, one last small thing – we really, really want to win a World Series for the first time ever!
We haven’t asked for much. I hope you bring it all, and if you love us at all, please bring just the last one. We’re leaving out beer and cheese curds for you and tart Spartan apples for your sleigh team. Merry Christmas ?
– Brewers Fans