GLENDALE, Ariz. — It would be hard for one sentence to contain more heartbreak.
“I was not prepared to not bring my baby girl home,” Dodgers reliever Alex Vesia said after Friday’s workout at Camelback Ranch, speaking publicly for the first time since the death of his infant daughter shortly after her birth in October.
“But we’re carrying her with us every day. It’s been hard, but we’re doing OK.”
Vesia’s statement echoed the video posted to Instagram by his wife, Kayla, in November.
“I was prepared for everything,” Kayla said then. “I was prepared for whatever was going to happen, was going to happen. But I wasn’t prepared for not taking my baby home.”
Alex Vesia, 29, read from a statement he wrote on his phone Friday, stopping at times to take deep breaths, and did not take questions about the tragedy. He acknowledged that he and Kayla started therapy “about six weeks ago” to help them deal with their loss.
“It hasn’t been easy. But talking to someone has made a difference,” Vesia said. “For those out there who have lost a child, or are fighting through any struggle, if you can take anything from this, please seek help. Talk to somebody. It’s definitely helped Kay and I. Please don’t be afraid to speak up. Your mental health matters.”
Vesia was not with the Dodgers during the World Series last fall. Their daughter, Sterling Sol, died Oct. 26.
“The lessons we’ve learned from this is that life can change in an instant. Ten minutes is all it took,” Vesia said. “Sterling Sol was the most beautiful girl in the world. We got to hold her, change her diaper, read to her, and love her. Our time together was far too short. Kay and I will keep those precious moments and memories to ourselves. I hope that anyone listening can empathize and respect our wishes for privacy as we continue to heal, and as we navigate the ups and downs of a baseball season.”
Vesia said he watched “every pitch” of the World Series and that was “a light in our darkness.” Relievers for both the Dodgers and Blue Jays wrote Vesia’s uniform number, 51, on their hats during the series, a gesture that the left-hander said was “very emotional” for him and his wife.
“When Kay and I were watching the World Series, we noticed that there was 51 on (Blue Jays reliever) Louie Varland’s hat,” Vesia said. “I immediately texted Gus Varland, his brother (and a former teammate), and I asked him if I was seeing that correctly. He texted me back right away and he said, ‘The Varlands love you, dude. The whole Toronto bullpen has it, too. It’s bigger than baseball. We love you all.’
“We were super overwhelmed with emotion and the baseball community, the relationships that you make along the way, it showed that it’s much bigger than baseball. The outpouring of love and support Kay and I have had over the past few months, has been unmatched. We’re both grateful to not only Dodger nation, but the fans worldwide. My DMs, messages, are basically broken on Instagram from all the love and support that we’ve had. I’ve tried to read all the comments and everything just because it’s meant the world, really.”
Not being with the team for the World Series “was difficult.” But returning to workouts and starting his offseason throwing program has been therapeutic.
“Having something to look forward to has helped me,” he said. “The gym has been my mental clarity. Being around the guys again, preparing for spring training, it’s been really nice. I’ve gotten a lot of love so far in the clubhouse, and being able to laugh and joke around, that’s been really nice for me.”