Apologies in advance for stepping out from behind my satirical remove. But the situation demands it.

Guys, I think the Twins might be pretty bad this year.

Prior to spring training, 75 wins seemed about right. That isn’t good, by any stretch of the imagination. But they had enough starting pitching to get from here to respectability, especially in a bad division. Enough things break right, they could sniff .500, and if they finally get some breakout performances from the kids (I’m one of the TD writers old enough to remember when Kirby Puckett started hitting for power), one could dare to dream of a playoff berth.

Dream in one hand and [REDACTED] in the other, and see which one fills up first.

Pablo López is out. David Festa is hurt. Joe Ryan has back trouble. Bailey Ober already had to hit reset. That’s 80% of the rotation! The good part of the team! The depth has gone from enviable to Andrew Morris and ten Hail Marys.

The lineup is…man, I don’t know. Can anyone but Byron Buxton play defense? And are Josh Bell and Victor Caratini enough to fix the inconsistent offense of last year? I desperately want to be wrong. I want Brooks Lee to live up to his potential. I want Royce Lewis to be Royce Lewis again. I think it’s foolish to expect that to happen.

To be honest, the least of my concerns is the bullpen. Yes, the completely decimated one from last year with three reclamation projects as the causes for quote-unquote “hope”. I like how Aaron put it over at The Athletic:

Quote

(B)ullpen performance can be the trickiest part of any team to predict, and quality relievers often materialize and vanish without warning…

There is zero reason to expect the bullpen to be good (and to be clear, Aaron doesn’t), but bullpens are weird like hockey goalies are weird. No one knows how they work or what makes them tick; you just hope you fall into a decent one. Of all the things I can muster optimism about today regarding Your Minnesota Twins, it’s that the bullpen might be OK—because sometimes that just happens. In the name of Tony Fiore, let it be so.

Finally, I know spring training records are meaningless. But the 4-8 record as of Thursday morning is earned. It seems about right for what they’re putting out there every afternoon. And it doesn’t look a whole lot different from what they’re going to put out there when the games start counting.

I want to be wrong. As I put this in the publication queue, they are beating the living hell out of the New York Yankees, of all teams. [Ed. note: They held on to win a nailbiter, 15-0.] I would love nothing more than to have everyone reading this throwing it in my face come September’s pennant race.

That said, if the worst comes to pass, tickets, hot dogs, and beers will be pretty cheap this summer. See you at the yard.

Image license here.