The 2026 Major League Baseball season will reportedly begin tomorrow, March 25th, when the San Francisco Giants take on the New York Yankees in the hallowed grounds of the Bronx. (We all know the season doesn’t really begin until the next day when the Cincinnati Reds play host to the Boston Red Sox at Great American Ball Park, but we’ll let that slide for the time being.)

That means we’re about to engage upon six-plus months of some serious baseball, and we’re going to see plenty of remarkable things along the way. Some will be predictable – Jose Ramirez, per usual – and some will come completely out of nowhere. There will be amazing plays, incredible streaks, and plenty of dumbness for all to enjoy.

With the looming 162 game grind in mind, here are Five Dumb Predictions for the 2026 MLB season.

Shohei Ohtani wins the NL Cy Young Award

It’s going to happen, right?

The greatest baseball talent the world has ever seen has done pretty much every single thing ever already, and the rewards for such prowess have stacked up, too. He’s been a Rookie of the Year. He’s been named MVP four times (including in both leagues). He’s been an All Star five times, a World Series winner twice, the NLCS MVP. He’s led the league in homers (twice), triples once, arby-eyes once, and even swiped 59 bags in a single season (while only being thrown out four times).

He’s done it all offensively, enough to make his 16.1 career bWAR from the mound seem almost an afterthought. Perhaps that’s because so much of what he’s done offensively came as he recovered from Tommy John surgery, something that sounds as ridiculous as it is. All he’s done on the mound lately is pitch to an absurd 6.89 K/BB, 2.87 ERA, and 1.90 FIP in 47.0 IP in 2025 after not pitching at all in 2024, but you don’t have to go too far back to see his 4th place finish in the 2022 AL Cy Young Award, either.

I think the Los Angeles Dodgers superstar is going to look around and realize that his club needs him this year, more than ever, as their ace, and in typical Ohtani fashion I think he rises to that occasion. Yeah, he’s still going to hit the crap out of the ball, but maybe he just won’t run and slide so much. On the bump, though, I see a return to a more full season of work, and topping 150 IP with scintillating peripherals will win him the award that will truly cement his legacy as the greatest overall player of all time.

Ronald Acuña wins his 2nd NL MVP

Acuña’s 2023 win of the award came as he led all of Major League Baseball in hits (217), steals (73), OBP (.416), and total bases (383), the superstar ripping off an absurd .337/.416/.596 line in 159 games. He swatted 41 homers to fabricate the 40/70 club, but a torn ACL set him back significantly the very next year.

In 2025, we saw the Acuña at the plate we’re accustomed to seeing, as he hit .290/.417/.518 when healthy, though he didn’t stay perfectly healthy all year (and barely ran when he did). In 2026, though, I think we get the full package back once again, and that’s going to be electric enough for him to claim this award for the second time.

It may seem like he’s been around forever already, but he just turned 28 years old in December. He’s almost two weeks younger than Spencer Steer, for reference. Yeah, there’s an infinite amount left in his tank, and he’s going to show it again in 2026.

Wyatt Langford leads the AL in dingers

Texas Rangers outfielder Wyatt Langford is going to finish the 2026 season with more dingers than anyone else in the American League. Not Aaron Judge, not Cal Raleigh, Wyatt Langford – the 24 year old with 38 career homers under his belt.

Big time breakout year for this guy incoming. I’m going to say he ends up with 46, and that does the trick.

Buy, buy, buy while you can!

5+ WAR season, 35+ homers for Seattle’s Randy Arozarena

Contract years are incredible catalysts in a sport that hands out quarter-billion dollar contracts like hotcakes. So, when a player who’s shown consistent ability to be among the league’s elite at multiple skills reaches one, it’s hard not to think there’s going to be an effort to align the stars into a career year.

That’s not to imply that Arozarena has done anything other than give his absolute best throughout his rock solid career to-date. It’s just an acknowledgement that players, particularly when they reach their age-31 season at the very same time, surely know when they’ve got a platform year in front of them (see: Kyle Schwarber last year).

Randy’s got a chance to jump to the top of the free agent class with a year like that in 2026, and I think he will rise to the occasion because of it. He’ll top the 27 dingers that sits as his career high to date (established just last season), and another 30+ steal season with perhaps some better defense would vault him firmly into 5+ WAR territory.

The Boston Red Sox win the 2026 World Series

Reds fans are going to get the first taste of just how filthy Garrett Crochet is going to be this season when he takes the mound in GABP on Thursday for Opening Day. Boston’s resident ace is poised to show his first season in Boston – a brilliant one in 2025 after coming over from the White Sox – was just the tip of the iceberg, and I think he leads a revamped pitching staff to the upper echelon of the league.

With the bats, though, it’s Roman Anthony who takes a giant step forward in 2026, and I think the Willson Contreras addition has gone completely under the radar – he’s going to beat the crap out of the green monster all year long. It’s a lineup that’s deep and versatile, and I think it’s on the cusp of taking completely off.

Not to mention that it just seems very Red Socky for them to jump up and seize a title in a year where the Dodgers and Yankees sit atop most every projection system – that’s just their style.