Golfing with Dave was a joy, but it was the stories and laughter that linger. His baseball tales were endless, his achievements legendary – and his humor? Timeless.
Wayne Box Miller
 | Opinion contributor
“Step aside, boys!”
That was one of those classic sayings we heard often on the tee at Avon Fields golf course, playing with our fantastic foursome: George Jackson, the legendary Withrow coach and UC assistant, Ced and me. But what made those rounds unforgettable was our fourth − David Gene Parker.
Golfing with Dave was a joy, but it was the stories and laughter that linger. His baseball tales were endless, his achievements legendary – and his humor? Timeless. If he hadn’t been a ballplayer, he’d have been one of the era’s greatest comedians. Just ask Eric Davis, his brother, Jimmy, or anyone lucky enough to share time with him.
You never had time to dwell on a bad shot while golfing with Dave. He would say something off-the-cuff, causing us all to break out in uncontrollable laughter, even if you were the butt of the joke.
A master of the roast
I’m shorter in stature compared to Dave, and once when he couldn’t find a golf tee, he asked me to lift my hands over my head and hold his golf ball so he could hit his drive. Another time when a bee was circling George, Dave asked him − because of his body shape − “How many laps around you would make a mile?”
Speaking of George, he was the longest hitter of the group, unless Dave managed to hit one straight. But whenever George bombed a drive, Dave would say, “That’s cute,” followed by his infamous, “Step aside, boys. Take a ride on this!” That was his signal to the rest of the group that he was about to hit his ball farther than anyone. But what usually happened was his ball flew 200 yards to the right and another 100 yards left, mirroring his trademark home-run trot nicknamed “The Thing.”
The one-liners never stopped
In those moments, we saw Dave at his best – uninhibited, competitive and endlessly funny. He once told a former big-leaguer with large ears, “You look like a yellow cab with the doors open.” Trust me, the one-liners never ran out.
And if you joined our group to fill an open spot, you were fair game. Dave would roast you with love, and you’d laugh right along with him. On one occasion, a newbie to our group duck-hooked the ball so badly on hole number seven at Avon that it went over by the driving range. Without missing a beat, Dave deadpanned, “When you pick up your ball, get in a cab and go home.”
Even in retirement, Dave never lost that competitive edge. He once bought a fancy “pure spin” wedge to outplay us − and it worked, for a while. But soon the cheap club wore down, and the ball wouldn’t stop rolling across the green. No amount of his signature plea − “Say, say, say!” − could help. That poor wedge ended up in a pond. Classic Dave, even turning frustration into a punchline.
A legacy larger than baseball. We’ll carry it forward
Every round with Dave was so memorable, we couldn’t wait for the next. Even when Parkinson’s disease arrived uninvited, Dave and his wife, Kellye, kept showing up − using golf and his nonprofit, the Dave Parker 39 Foundation, to help others.
That was Dave: always giving. Whether he was telling stories, cracking jokes, or lifting others up, he did it all with a full heart.
Dave Parker wasn’t just a baseball legend. He was my friend, my mentor and a Hall of Famer in every sense − long before Cooperstown finally called.
Now it’s our turn.
Let’s honor him the best way we can: by helping others, just like he did. Consider donating to the Dave Parker 39 Foundation.
“Step aside, Dave.” We’ll take it from here.
Wayne Box Miller is the Cincinnati Bengals Radio Network’s pregame, halftime and postgame show host.