These freaking guys, huh? If you paid money to attend last night’s Orioles game in order to make sure you got to see the team Hall of Fame induction celebration for Adam Jones, Joe Orsulak, and longtime broadcaster Tom Davis, I hope you got your money’s worth out of that because the team’s play in the game itself, woof. What a mess.

It’s not like anyone can really be surprised to see messes like last night’s 11-3 blowout loss. When the outfield consists of Dylan Carlson, Greg Allen, and Jeremiah Jackson, and those guys hit like crap and field like crap, that’s exactly what you might expect! When pitchers like Yaramil Hiraldo and Corbin Martin are involved in giving up a bunch of runs, like, of course, that’s what would happen.

In fairness, the worst pitcher last night was the starter, Brandon Young, who hasn’t impressed me yet but who is at least promising enough that the Orioles might as well chuck him out there for a while longer and see what happens. Get him out of there when Kyle Bradish comes back. The verdict on Young’s performance so far is that Mike Elias darn well better conduct an offseason that does not end with Young being one of the five best starting pitchers around next spring. Probably it will be best if Young is not even one of the best seven starting pitchers. I feel the same way about today’s starting pitcher, Cade Povich.

Here’s my thing about all of this. If you’re going to screw around with flotsam like Greg Allen, why not just take a chance and get a prospect up here? I’ve been banging the drum for Dylan Beavers to get a chance for the last week, and I guess Elias is determined to be fanatical about preserving the off chance that Beavers could get named as a top 100 prospect on two of the three key lists to potentially qualify the Orioles to get a bonus draft pick in 2027 if by some chance he wins the Rookie of the Year award next year.

I think that’s a stupid reason, but fine, whatever. Then get Jud Fabian up here. Surely there’s no concern about him being a contender for the lists. He might fail, but at least he’ll fail while telling you something about an internal option, and he probably won’t fail while bumbling around in the outfield because he doesn’t belong in the outfield. Carlson at this point has gone ten straight starts without getting a hit. Signing him over last offseason was a worthwhile attempt at a reclamation project. We have seen enough here by August to recognize that it was not a success. Time for the next thing.

In some ways, this patchwork outfield business is a lightning rod that’s drawing the easy criticism because that’s less painful than contemplating the extent that the core players are not getting it done. The Orioles had three hits even while winning Friday’s game, and do you know how many hits they had while getting their butts kicked last night? Four! They got three hits in a row to start the game, the third of which was Gunnar Henderson hitting a three-run home run. Then they didn’t get another hit until there were two outs in the ninth inning. It’s stupid.

If last night’s game didn’t disgust you away from watching the series finale between the Orioles and Athletics, it is set to get under way at 1:35 this afternoon.

Orioles stuff you might have missed

With poorly-timed ticketing changes, the Orioles have ruffled the feathers of their most loyal fans (The Baltimore Banner)
Right now is looking like an awfully tough time for the Orioles to ask people to commit more money to attend even more games next season.

City leader and legend Adam Jones reflects on Orioles HOF journey (Orioles.com)
It’s too bad the Orioles themselves opted to honor Jones by playing like the team did early and late in his tenure rather than by playing like they did in the 2012-16 stretch.

Jackson Holliday is bucking the trend and going the other way (The Baltimore Sun)
The gist is that Holliday is near the top of left-handed hitters in collecting opposite field home runs. I’ll take some more home runs from any number of Orioles, whichever field they want.

Six draft picks reporting to Delmarva (School of Roch)
Good news for those of us who have wanted to get to see this year’s draft class get into games: A number of the O’s early picks, including Ike Irish and Caden Bodine, are headed to the Eastern Shore for next week. That means we should start seeing them make their way into games on Tuesday.

Birthdays and Orioles anniversaries

There are a few former Orioles who were born on this day. They are: 2013 three-game first baseman Dan Johnson, 2005 catcher Sal Fasano, and 1954 pitcher Bob Chakales.

Is today your birthday? Happy birthday to you! Your birthday buddies for today include: Nestlé founder Henri Nestlé (1814), 31st president Herbert Hoover (1874), The Hunger Games author Suzanne Collins (1962), and famous famous person Kylie Jenner (1997).

On this day in history…

In 1519, five ships departed from Seville under the command of explorer Ferdinand Magellan, with the goal of circumnavigating the globe. Only one ship made it back to Spain over three years later, and Magellan himself did not survive the expedition, but the circumnavigation was achieved.

In 1792, revolutionaries in Paris stormed the Tuileries Palace, arresting the king, Louis XVI, and killing many of his bodyguards.

In 1944, during World War II, American marines took control of Guam after a nearly three-week battle.

And that’s the way it is in Birdland on August 10. Have a safe Thursday. Go O’s!