Running off at the typewriter …
One of the first things Magic new acquisition Desmond Bane said to a gathering of Orlando media earlier this week was to jokingly explain how he will fit right in with his new teammates except “my arms aren’t as long as theirs.”
Although Bane made the comment playfully, it’s resoundingly clear that he’s still bothered by the fact that his relatively short wing span is one of the reasons he fell to the 30th pick in the first round of the 2020 draft.
It just goes to show the ridiculous impact that the analytics nerds and tape-measure mafia have in professional sports. Bane’s wingspan of 6 feet, 4 inches is considered about 4 inches below average for NBA shooting guards, which led to the assumption that this could limit his ability to get off certain shots and defend at a high level.
Bane, of course, has gone on to become one the best 3-point shooters in the league who is also considered a tough, versatile and willing defender.
Hard to believe that nearly the entire NBA passed on Bane — a four-year college player at TCU who was renowned for his work ethic, shooting mechanics, strength, toughness, character and knockdown laser-beam jump shot. Why? Because the NBA’s analytics nerdocracy measured his wingspan and ran away from him in a panic like he was some sort of T-Rex in sneakers.
This is the problem when spreadsheets are given more credence than scouts with eyes. Analytics are a helpful tool, but they’re not the gospel. They’re not a substitute for common sense. And they certainly shouldn’t be the reason that Mo Bamba and his 7’ 10’’ wingspan becomes a lottery pick while Desmond Bane becomes a draft-night afterthought.
The irony of ironies? Cole Anthony — the player the Magic drafted with the 15th pick in the same 2020 draft in which Bane was taken 30th — was part of the massive package of draft picks and players the Magic sent to Memphis to acquire Bane.
What’s the moral of this story?
To paraphrase an old saying: You can’t escape the long arm of the law — or the short arms of a cold-blooded shooter who is taking out the NBA’s tape-measure mafia one jumper at a time. …
Short stuff: I guess we shouldn’t be surprised it’s come to this: Wisconsin is suing Miami for tampering with one of its football players who reportedly had signed a two-year NIL contract with the Badgers before the ‘Canes allegedly came calling with an even bigger briefcase full of cash. NIL — Now I’m Litigating! … It’s now been 32 years since a team from Canada won a Stanley Cup. I’m not saying Canadians were depressed earlier this week when the Florida Panthers beat Edmonton to win it all, but it’s believed to be the worst day in Canada since Nickelback released its last album. … And who would have ever thunk that a HOCKEY team from Florida would be the most dominant professional team in American sports. That’s sort of like Frosty the Snowman driving a Zamboni and winning the Daytona 500. … By the way, has Mickey Mouse now been replaced as the most omnipotent rodent in the state by the army of rubber rats Panthers fans have been throwing on the ice? …
I saw where there were thousands of “No Kings” rallies throughout the country a few days ago, and I just don’t get it. Who would have ever thought that there could be so much passionate protest for a non-descript NBA franchise in Sacramento? … I’m not saying all the pressure is on Oklahoma City heading into Game 7 on Sunday night, but I’m guessing the Thunder will be tighter than my jeans after Thanksgiving dinner. … Cleveland Browns rookie quarterback Shedeur Sanders has gotten two speeding tickets — one for going 101 mph and the other for going 91 mph — in a two-week period up in Ohio. Hey, he may have slipped to the 5th round in the NFL draft, but he’s considered the unanimous No. 1 pick in next year’s NASCAR draft. … I love me some Caitlin Clark, but she’s a bigger flopper than a largemouth bass on a hot dock. …
Why is everybody celebrating this weekend’s 50th anniversary of the release of the movie Jaws? We shouldn’t be celebrating; we should be commiserating. I wish the stupid movie had never been made. I haven’t been in the ocean past my ankles in 50 freaking years because of that movie. It’s the only movie ever made that could ruin both a beach day and a date night. And thanks to Jaws, sharks have a bigger PR problem than an ICE agent at Taco Food-Truck Night in East L.A. … Speaking of L.A., did you see where the Buss family is selling its majority stake in the Lakers for a franchise valuation of approximately $10 billion. Wait a minute, that’s almost as much money as Texas Tech’s NIL fund! And if you ask me, $10 billion is a lot of money to pay for a team that hasn’t played defense since 2020. … I don’t know who I’m more tired of — Antonio Brown, Aaron Rodgers or Bill Belichick’s girlfriend. … Did you see where the Florida Panthers damaged the Stanley Cup the night they won it as they celebrated into the wee hours of morning and into the next day? The bowl of the famous trophy somehow got cracked and the bottom somehow got dented. Hey, if you ain’t damaging the Stanley Cup, you don’t know how to party, baby!!! …
Last word: With Sunday being National Chocolate Eclair Day, I’m reminded of my late, great, big-boned Sentinel colleague Jerry Greene, who not only loved chocolate eclairs but also loved reading the newspaper. Said Jerry once: Every day is Christmas morning when you go out to the driveway to get your paper. The newspaper is like a Christmas gift waiting to be unwrapped. You just never know what surprise is in there waiting for you.”
Email me at mbianchi@orlandosentinel.com. Hit me up on X (formerly Twitter) @BianchiWrites and listen to my Open Mike radio show every weekday from 6 to 9:30 a.m. on FM 96.9, AM 740 and 969TheGame.com/listen