Winston Bishop, closeted Wicked fan and resident of the loft in apartment 4D, located somewhere in Los Angeles, California, was burning rubber and bolting to the Mexican border. Between belts of “Popular” and “Defying Gravity”, Winston fights the waning night with his falsetto prowess. With vocal cords, he battles nocturnal demons and wills himself through the darkness to cross into the land South.
Unbeknownst to our talented protagonist, hiding in the trunk are Schmidt and Cece, Winston’s close friend and a woman way out of his league, who were caught in the act and hoping to survive the night with their silent love affair remaining a secret. Unnoticed through the entire drive down, the couple speaks in hushed tones, sitting perfectly still.
Entering Mexico was the easy part. Returning to the United States from the Mexican side? That’s where Schmidt and Cece have no place to hide. The border patrol officer, questioning Winston if he was transporting any individuals, wasn’t satisfied with our protagonist’s confident response of “no”. Sure enough, a random search of the vehicle leads to the backseat pair’s discovery. The officer follows his original question with a simple: “Then can you explain this?“ as the back door lifts open, revealing two underdressed individuals.
Winston recognises these people instantly, though his brain argues with his eyes over the image they’ve delivered. Eyes wide open, mouth agape, Winston’s response stood out to me.
“I can’t explain that, officer,” Winston deteriorized. “Nobody in the world can explain that.“
My feelings about this year’s Utah Jazz are nearly identical to Winston’s sentiment. Just two days ago, the Jazz were nearly wiped from the face of the Earth in a brutal loss to Houston. It was a loss so bad that I felt the need to write this in the game’s recap:
“The Houston Rockets and the Utah Jazz are both full-fledged members of the National Basketball Association, believe it or not. As Houston frolicked across the Delta Center floor behind Alperen Sengun and Kevin Durant’s combined 52 points, the Utah Jazz fell behind quickly and decisively, essentially falling out of contention by the halftime buzzer.
Our reporters are indicating that the Utah Jazz were, in fact, present and participatory for this contest.“
Yet one day later, against the same team in the same arena, Utah beat its visitors convincingly in a 133-125 final.
Now, I’m not a doctor, but I suspect this Utah roster is struggling with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Symptoms of this disorder include the existence of two or more identities, significant gaps in memory, and a general sense of disconnection between one’s ability to self-identify and narrow in on a single identity. Our patient, the Jazz, appeared to be two entirely different teams in two home games against Houston.
SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH – NOVEMBER 30: Jabari Smith Jr. #10 of the Houston Rockets handles the ball as Ace Bailey #19 of the Utah Jazz defends the play during the first half of the game at Delta Center on November 30, 2025 in Salt Lake City, Utah. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Alex Goodlett/Getty Images) Getty Images
Game 1 vs Game 2 Differences:
Taking a look at the most obvious numbers, the final score was the first metric that popped off the page and seared my corneas.
Point total: 101 points to 133 points (+32)
The most drastic change was the difference made by Utah’s top contributors. Keyonte George was so abysmal in the first game that the sleuths on X rallied to accuse the standout guard of deliberately throwing the game for gambling reasons. These voices are both uninformed and ridiculous, as Keyonte had been struggling with illness on game day, and really shouldn’t have been on the floor in the first place.
All the same, the differences didn’t sit exclusively with George, and are baffling to compare side-by-side.
Keyonte George: 0 points, 8 turnovers to 28 points, 8 assists
Lauri Markkanen: 18 points, 8 rebounds to 29 points, 8 rebounds
Jusuf Nurkic: 14 points, 9 assists to 18 points, 2 assists
These drastically different identities have been plaguing the Jazz all season. Only months removed from claiming the NBA’s worst record, the Jazz are currently 7-13, 4.5 games behind New Orleans for the top spot, and would cough up the rights to their first-round pick to OKC if the season ended today. The Clippers likewise owe their first-round pick to the Thunder in the 5th spot. This is doomsday.
The improvement of Keyonte George and Lauri Markkanen, in tandem with rookie Ace Bailey’s semi-reliable scoring punch, makes Will Hardy’s Jazz seem too good to lose in a season where winning is not an option. Winners in two of their last three games and in four of their last 10, the Jazz have too much reliable production for their own good, without the veteran leadership or star power to win reliably. In other words, they’re stuck in the middle — basketball limbo.
Maybe the Jazz will find their true selves in the near future. Maybe I’m overreacting just 20 games into an 82-game season. But by all appearances, Utah still needs to take on a session of soul-searching, because the fate of their season — and by extension, their future — lies in the balance.
Calvin Barrett is a writer, editor, and prolific Mario Kart racer located in Tokyo, Japan. He has covered the NBA and College Sports since 2024.