The Portland Trail Blazers approached their first game back from the 2026 NBA All-Star break with all the authority of a paper towel in a hurricane. Facing the Denver Nuggets, Portland gave up 80 points in the first half on their way to a resounding 157-103 loss.

The Nuggets fell to the underachieving Los Angeles Clippers last night. They seemed intent on taking out every second of the defeat on the Blazers this evening. Nikola Jokic looked like Superman going up against the League of Hamsters. He shot 10-15 from the floor, 3-4 from distance, on his way to 32 points, 9 rebounds, and 7 assists. Single-game plus-minus is a horrible, non-indicative stat. Except Jokic’s read +40 by the end of the game. That actually does indicate how this one went.

How bad was it? Denver put 16 players in double-figures and they only suited up 12. Chuck Norris checked the highlight reel and said, “Dammmnnnn…a beating like that just isn’t possible.” Oregon’s Attorney General is investigating to see if the game violated the cruel and unusual punishment clause. Personal injury lawyers from across the state are changing freeway billboards to read, “Just played the Nuggets? Call 1-800-XXX-XXXX.” Witnesses say that incoming Trail Blazers Owner Tom Dundon doubled over in the third quarter, grabbing his head and claiming a sensation of millions of playoffs hopes crying out in terror before they were suddenly silenced.

On the bright side, Deni Avdija did have 15 points and 13 assists for the Blazers. Yay, Deni? Yeah.

Here are a couple observations from the game.

It’s hard to pull anything conclusive out of this kind of lopsided effort, but a couple of things stood out about Donovan Clingan.

First, the hesitation on his three-point shot is pretty much gone. He releases it with confidence and continuity compared to the start of the season. His accuracy was pretty good tonight (3-6), but whether or not it falls, that shot is becoming at least a little bit of a viable, respectable weapon for him.

Second, Clingan is the ONLY guy with real size on the whole roster, at least among players who earn playing time. Clingan wasn’t stopping Joker out there. Nobody does. But damn, Portland is SMALL without their starting center. There’s no rebounding, no interior presence. Instead of channeling drivers into the shot-blocker, the center-less Blazers are pretty much ushering the opponent to the hoop. One duck or pull-up later and it’s an easy two.

Height and size are one problem for Portland. Here’s the other, scarier bit.

Despite being smaller than the opponent, the Blazers aren’t quicker to the spot or faster down the floor. Size is usually a trade-off for speed and agility. When the answer is, “None of the Above,” you’ve got problems. And Portland had problems tonight.

It got to the point where I’m pretty comfortable saying the Blazers had no defense that worked. If they single-covered, they got smashed in the lane by bigger players. If they helped, Denver moved the ball and Portland’s defense didn’t even come close to recovering.

The Blazers allowed Denver 57% shooting from the field, 51% from the three-point arc. Those are BAD NUMBERS. The only relief was, prior to the half, the Nuggets were shooting above 60%.

Oh, and when Denver missed those shots, they got offensive rebounds. They won that battle 13-8. It’s a Portland hallmark too. Le sigh.

So…you have no height, no close-out speed or shot-blocking at the arc, are getting outrebounded, and you’re losing in fast-break points 18-10. There’s only one way to overcome that: great shooting from three.

The Blazers shot 15-47, 32% from distance tonight.

We know of at least two franchise records that were broken in this game. It was the most points Denver has ever scored on the road in franchise history. It’s also their biggest margin of victory over anyone, ever. Portland’s own largest defeat was 65 points to Indiana back in 1998. At least that record was safe. But Denver just scored the most points of any NBA team this season! Goals. Lots of goals. All scored by Denver. Easily.

Want to see a statistical anomaly? Portland was riding into this game with a -2.0 average margin of victory for the season. Tomorrow morning it’s going to read -3.0. That’s incredible at this point in the season.

The Blazers head to Phoenix to face the Suns on Sunday with a 5:00 PM, Pacific start.