Calvin Barrett is a writer, editor, and prolific Mario Kart racer located in Provo, Utah. Currently writing for SB Nation and FanSided, he has covered the Utah Jazz and BYU athletics since 2024 and graduated from Utah Valley University.
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor’s.” — Exodus 20:17, King James Bible
Forgive me, Jazz fans, for I have sinned.
I’ve grown dissatisfied with the current constitution of the Utah Jazz roster and have allowed my eyes to wander elsewhere. Knowing full well what a complete rebuild may demand from my fandom, I accepted the task before me with a heart divided.
I will always love the Utah Jazz, but as I look across the greater landscape of the National Basketball Association, one statement permeates within my subconscious mind: I want what they’ve got.
A point guard with a lethal jump shot, a perimeter defender capable of locking down the opposition’s strongest weapon, a big man who can stretch the floor on one end while rejecting a shot at the rim on the other end — I want it all. And seeing the current state of my beloved Jazz, such a reality may never arrive.
It would take years at best.
This is why I’ve come here today; this is my confession. On every NBA roster, there exists at least one player who’s caught my misdirected affection, and I can no longer live with the shame of my fandom infidelity. Please allow me to get this off my chest, and I beg my weakness be pardoned.
Who among us hasn’t looked to another hooper and craved such talent donning Utah across his chest?
15 Eastern Conference players I wish played for the Utah Jazz
Derrick White seems to always knock down the right shot at the right moment.
Photo by Brian Fluharty/Getty Images
Derrick White – Boston Celtics
Derrick White seems to constantly hit the right shot at the right moment. A steady hand under pressure, and a pestilence on the defensive end of the floor, Derrick White is just another warhead in Joe Mazzula’s arsenal. Capable of creating his own shot, but far happier spotting up, relocating, and playing the role his team needs in that moment. Given the uneven state of Utah’s frontcourt, I’d give anything for a player like White.
Cam Johnson – Brooklyn Nets
Truthfully, it’s sort of difficult to find anything to like about the Nets’ roster — things could always be worse, I guess? But look across Utah’s roster right now and tell me who their knockdown shooter is. Outside of Markkanen or Sexton (who has been awesome in recent years), has anyone else proved somewhat capable of being Utah’s premier catch-and-shoot apparatus? Cam Johnson does that, and I want that.
OG Anunoby – New York Knicks
If I’ve learned anything from Nico Harrison, it’s that defense wins championships. OG Anunoby may not lift the trophy this year, but he is the universal plug capable of inserting himself onto any roster and immediately renovating their home to include cathedral ceilings. Put simply, he may be the best unsung hero in recent memory, playing a critical role in the Raptors’ championship and now bolstering an ever-loaded Knicks squad.
Tyrese Maxey – Philadelphia 76ers
Maxey is the best player in the Philadelphia depth chart. Argue with a wall. The speed, handle, athleticism, and pure competitive will to exert constant pressure against his poor defensive victims, this man is a sociopath on offense, and does not care who, standing opposite himself, must suffer to see his success. He’s very good at basketball.
RJ Barrett – Toronto Raptors
One of, if not the most underappreciated player in the NBA today, Barrett is a three-level scorer who remains steady, focused, and deliberate in every aspect of his game. Sure, he’ll probably never reach the unthinkable heights of the All-NBA squad, but I want a Barrett jersey. Is that so bad? My second choice would be Gradey Dick.
Matas Buzelis – Chicago Bulls
Utah could have had Matas on their team this past season, as he was available with the 10th overall pick in the draft. Utah spent that selection on Cody Williams. I want highlight-reeling, do-it-all Matas Buzelis, and instead I’m stuck with a player that I cannot defend without risking a hamstring pull. Forgive me for blaspheming.
Evan Mobley shoots 3’s, people.
Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images
Evan Mobley – Cleveland Cavaliers
Are the Cavs massively overrated? Of course. But Evan Mobley is a center worthy of demanding the basketball, putting it on the floor, and stealing his defender’s soul at the rim. Not to mention, when he pulls up from beyond the arc, it isn’t gimmicky and ridiculous (looking at you, Kessler).
Jalen Duren – Detroit Pistons
Seemingly out of nowhere, the Detroit Pistons are playing competitive basketball once again. I credit Jalen Duren’s ascension in large part for their meteoric rise. This season, he became the first 20-year-old in NBA history to average at least 11 points, 11 boards, and 2 assists in a season. Only Ford commercials promise such reliability.
Pascal Siakam – Indiana Pacers
Obviously, everyone wants Haliburton, but Pascal just had a 40-piece against the New York Knicks in the Eastern Conference Finals. He was a late bloomer, but now stands as one of the most powerful two-way stars in basketball. He attacks the basket like it was bad-mouthing his mama.
AJ Green – Milwaukee Bucks
Sure, this is a bit of a deep cut, but you’ve gotta read my breakdown on what makes this guy so fascinating to me.
“AJ Green is striding up the summit. He’s the Chuck Norris of Duncan Robinsons, and I sincerely believe that one punch from Green’s big meaty claws could airlift me to a 6-month hospital stay, while his other hand gracefully delivers another bomb.” – Barrettball Substack
Dyson Daniels – Atlanta Hawks
The “Great Barrier Thief” is one of basketball’s most fearsome defenders — he takes no plays off, and the offense is perpetually at his mercy. And he has none in terms of empathy for his victims.
Brandon Miller – Charlotte Hornets
Who would’ve believed on draft night 2023 that the Hornets were right to pick Miller over Scoot Henderson with the second pick? 3 and D personified, Miller is a knockdown sniper and a ravenous murder of crows simultaneously. Don’t ask me to explain.
Tyler Herro – Miami Heat
Tyler Herro is a straight-up killer who does not care who finds their way into the path of his scope. Without exceptional size or strength, Herro delivers kill shot after kill shot. I believe he’s the reason Miami remained so competitive and relevant all these years, and Jimmy Butler’s recent departure is proving that.
Jalen Suggs – Orlando Magic
When he’s not in street clothes, nursing an injury, Jalen Suggs is the heartbeat of his Orlando Magic team. A roaring, dynamic, and “exactly as I do” type of leader, Suggs is like if Josh Hart didn’t forget how to shoot the 3-ball while perfecting his “hustle man” persona.
Bilal Coulibaly – Washington Wizards
Finding desirable players from Utah’s rival tank commanders was easier than expected. I love Bub Carrington, Alex Sarr shows promise, but Bilal Coulibaly is an actual animal on the floor. You can’t tame him. He’s knocking down jumpers, he’s disrupting on defense, he’s doing it all. A perfectly moldable prospect whom the Jazz could fall in love with.
Return next week for the second half of this list, where I plan to spill my guts regarding my one-sided love affair with my favorite player from every other Western Conference team. 29 teams are far too many for one article, so I’ll spare both of us by pushing part two to next week.