Just last year, this rivalry was so legendary that Adam Silver had to personally step in and punish these teams by giving them the mathematically worst outcome on draft lottery night. The embers are still in the air, but these organizations are no longer the juggernauts of Tankathon. They’re retired, choosing to pave their own way and gaining a new appreciation of life, more importantly the Playoffs.

Take the Jazz for instance, who are far past the days of Kira Lewis Jr., Luka Samanic, Kenny Lofton, Talen Horton-Tucker with the exception of that one time he dropped 41 — that was pretty cool. Jaren Jackson Jr. was the character progression Utah needed to reject their life of ruthless loss mongering.

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The Wizards once tried to do right by the code and made several attempts of postseason success in the olden days with supermax no-trade clause Bradley Beal and Kristaps Porzingis, before wrecking it all down to capture a Flagg. Trae Young, and half of Anthony Davis is certainly…an improvement-ish? No, no it’s nice and all, but I have mixed feelings considering I would’ve avoided these guys like the plague in a Jazz fan perspective.

But I’ll stand up for what is right, and that’s tanking actually creates more winners. These teams would have, in fact, been chasing for wins right now if they weren’t personally screwed in the lottery year after year. Instead, they’re taking part of the 10-way deadlock for the bottom to put the finishing touches on their rosters.

And tonight will be no exception. Only one can remain defeated. It’ll be a tough cookie to crack. Washington is on the verge of snapping their loss-streak record with a staggering 16 LOSSES IN A ROW. Tonight would make it 17. If I could print out both team’s injury reports on paper, I’d be able to build us a new Archie and Lois Archuleta Bridge.

D’Angelo Russell is just ‘out’ — I mean, sure, why not.

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The Jazz would technically have six players available if all choose to sit out of tonight’s blood fest. They’ll have to get creative, and restart the cogs of Kevin Love and Svi Mykhailiuk. Make sure they don’t overdo those joints, they haven’t been put to good use since January.

But let’s talk about what has been active, like the dominant force that is March Ace Bailey. Who has, in fact, netted more three-pointers (42) than Kon Knueppel (32) in the month of March. His 37-6-3 performance against Toronto tied him for the most points by a 19-year old with 30+ points and 5+ three-pointers. Sure, I’m a firm believer in the March theory, where nearly all statistics are fabricated by the fact that half the teams are putting in about 70% effort. But just watching him with your own two eyes is enough evidence you need to know Ace Bailey is legitimately legit.

On the Wizards’ end, I’ve been struggling to find a player who’s actually been consistently available. Bub Carrington is cool, I suppose. That game-winner he hit to solidify our Ace Bailey hopes earned him respect in my book. And on the basketball court, he’s been a nice fill-in for the Wizards for the other half of the game Trae is missing.

Also, don’t forget about Utah’s original selection in the 2025 NBA Draft, before being sent to Washington for Walter Clayton Jr., that being Will Riley. He’s another rookie who’s been climbing up the rookie rankings in the latter part of the season. He’s knocked down the fourth-most three-pointers (21) in the month of March. There’s the concern of him being disproportionately light (180 lbs) for his 6’10” frame. He has certainly been the Washington Wizards version of Ace Bailey, if Danny Ainge ended up being scared by the Omar Cooper tactic.

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Let’s all come together, hold hands, and truly witness the final tank-off between these two franchises. You will truly be missed by basketball sicko watchers.

How to watch:

Who: Utah Jazz (21-51) vs. Washington Wizards (16-55)

When: March 25th, 6:00PM Mountain Time

Where: Delta Center, Salt Lake City

Channel: Peacock, Jazz+, KJZZ

Radio: 97.5/1280 The Zone