The bracket of doom and despair. (Graphic by Benjamin White ’27 for The Lafayette)

Eighty-two games, 83 points from Bam Adebayo, 80 million reasons to gouge your eyes out if you’re a fan of a tanking team: the NBA’s regular season is finally, finally over.

Let’s get a harsh reality out of the way — the opening round of the playoffs might be a stinker.

Out west, the Denver Nuggets and Minnesota Timberwolves had some star-studded showdowns in recent years, including two fun postseason series. I’d give the Nuggets the edge this year, with Minnesota’s weakened depth and Denver developing some reinforcements, but don’t count out Anthony Edwards.

We also get LeBron James versus Kevin Durant in Lakers vs. Rockets, which would be cool if James’ co-stars Luka Dončić and Austin Reaves didn’t both suffer significant injuries to jeopardize their playoff status. This should be an easy win for the Rockets, although given the status of their late-game offensive execution, never say never.

The Oklahoma City Thunder and San Antonio Spurs are going to massacre the desolate souls of the play-in teams that appear before them. Give it five games, max.

While the Thunder will also slaughter the Rockets in the second round, we could be due for a classic in a potential second-round Spurs-Nuggets matchup. Nikola Jokić vs. Victor Webanyama. A battle-tested team with championship DNA versus a young, up-and-coming squad looking to make its mark on the league. Cinema. If the Timberwolves win in round one, pretend you never read this.

OKC essentially has a free run to the conference finals and gets to play a beat-up Nuggets, Spurs or Timberwolves team. Reigning MVP Shai Gilgeous-Alexander has taken the league by storm, and the swarming Thunder defense continues to suffocate opponents. Denver and San Antonio may pose some matchup challenges, but it’s a fairly clear path to at least end up in the conference finals.

The East is a bit more interesting, but also not in the first round. All of the top four teams are going to advance to the second round, and we might get some really dull opening series. Of those top four teams, all are legitimate championship hopefuls, but all also have glaring flaws that may ultimately be their doom.

For the first-seeded Detroit Pistons, a lot is lying on the shoulders of point guard Cade Cunningham’s clutch shotmaking. Against the league’s tougher defenses, they lack any consistent tertiary scoring to take a load off Cunningham. Their dynamic defense and ball pressure can create opportunities, but their offensive execution will likely be their undoing.

The second-seeded Boston Celtics have been a fun surprise this season, including the early return of star Jayson Tatum from an Achilles injury. That being said, Tatum hasn’t quite looked like himself consistently, and their frontcourt depth leaves a lot to be desired. Boston is two years removed from a title run, but it’d take some more postseason magic to pull it off again.

Defense is the glaring hole of the New York Knicks. It’s tough to be a top defensive team when your two star players — Jalen Brunson and Karl-Anthony Towns — are net negatives on that end. Brunson’s still one of the best closers in the sport, and without the devil-magic Indiana Pacers in the playoffs to thwart them, maybe this year will be the Knicks’ year (it won’t be).

Call me crazy, but I believe in the Cleveland Cavaliers. Yes, James Harden is prone to playoff disasterclasses, but his pick-and-roll playmaking has helped unlock Evan Mobley and Jarrett Allen and take some playmaking duties off of star Donovan Mitchell. They even have solid depth pieces, albeit lacking in size outside of their double-big lineup.

Regardless of how exactly it shapes up, I think we’ll get some fun, competitive second-round series between Detroit and Cleveland and Boston and New York. Just maybe don’t expect too much chaos in the first round.

Finals prediction: Thunder defeat Cavaliers 4-1