I know what you’re thinking.

“Isn’t this the guy who campaigned against Bango just last year?”

I’ve spent the past year fixated on NBA mascots. More specifically, I’ve spent the past year fixated on NBA mascot salaries. In doing so, it came to my attention that Bango was not among the top five most paid NBA mascots in 2023.

It’s fair game for me, a Bucks fan, to pick on Bango. But for the economic landscape of the NBA to render that judgment? Not okay.

So what follows is my case for Bango to be given a raise.

Mascots are underpaid in general

The report cited above notes that the average mascot brings in about $60K annually. Although I acknowledge that such a salary is more than several professions it should not outpace, allow me to humbly suggest that teams worth billions of dollars should spill a little more liquid.

Being a mascot involves both quantity and quality of work. Bango makes over 250 community appearances every year. You can book him yourself using this form! On the court, Bango doubles as a gymnast wearing a full-body suit. It’s so physical that Kevin Vanderkolk, who was Bango from 2001-02 to 2013-14, tore his ACL twice: once while falling through the hoop at the 2009 All-Star Game and once while working on a 360 dunk skateboarding off a ramp.

What’s more, the top five mascots in the above report are only one-time recipients of the famed Mascot of the Year award. Acknowledging that the person inside the mascot changes, multi-time award-winners like Jazz Bear (3), Clutch (3), Stuff the Magic Dragon (2), and the Coyote (2) make less than the top five—only five digits.

Who awards the Mascot of the Year award, you ask? The mascots themselves at their annual conference, which debuted perhaps-not-coincidentally the year I was born. I humbly and humorously suggest that they devote less of their time to navel-gazing and more of their time to unionizing.

Let’s return to the top five. Top of the list is Rocky the Mountain Lion, who earns—wait for it—$625K (!). And Harry the Hawk is right behind at $600K. Keen Brew Hoopers may recognize that he shares his name with the only actor onstage when Lincoln was shot, so maybe he’s worth it. Third place goes to our I-94 rival Benny the Bull, who makes $400K. Next up is Go the Gorilla at $200K. The top five concludes with Hugo the Hornet at $100K.

It’s frankly insulting that Benny the Bull makes more than Bango. The Bucks have beaten the Bulls on almost every count as of late; it wouldn’t cost the Haslams all that much for a clean sweep. And Go the Gorilla? After the Bucks won their championship with a Suns fan counting hundos during Giannis’ free throws? Humiliating. And then there’s Charlotte.

I have nothing against Rocky the Mountain Lion, but look at these mile-high rates!

I don’t care if Bango’s Mascot of the Year award was suspiciously handed out the year after he first tore his ACL. His pity trophy still pits him as equal to the rest of these folks.

In 2010, HBO’s Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel put a spotlight on Vanderkolk (i.e., Bango). It was stated that he made “healthy six figures,” with $250K raised as an example.

Vanderkolk certainly deserved it. He was the inaugural winner of Cartoon Network’s Most Awesome Mascot award (defeating Go the Gorilla, cough cough). He had to wear the infamous Air Bango suit. And he did the below on his first attempt in Game 4 of the 2010 Playoffs, having picked up the ladder on the way to the game:

I have less evidence that the current Bango deserves it, although I’ll make my case next. But you’re telling me that a mascot who made THAT MUCH in 2010 is making less than half of that in 2025? That’s right: LED hated Bango, and I won’t stand for it.

Current Bango deserves it

Again, the person inside the mascot changes over time. I’m sure seniority is responsible in part for the variation in mascot salary, although I doubt that fully explains why Rocky makes 10 times the average for his profession. In other words, HED (?) has wiggle room to pay Bango. I don’t know who Bango is currently, although I would certainly appreciate any leads in the comments.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve it. Bango has been active, with a behind-the-back half-court shot at the 2017 All-Star Game, an ESPN commercial with Giannis in 2018, and a skit with the Manitowoc Minute’s own Charlie Berens in 2021. More money for Bango translates to better in-game entertainment and more community involvement, both wins for the Bucks.

All told, the Bucks should live up to their name and pay Bango what he is owed.