Shaquille O’Neal had a complicated upbringing. His childhood recounts have centered around a strict household with his siblings, a caring mother and a military father, but there is a layer of his story that is often overlooked — the relationship (or lack thereof) with his biological father.
“The day I went to meet him he was nice enough. He said, ‘What’s up? Hey kid, how are you doing. I’m your daddy,'” O’Neal said about their first encounter in his book “Shaq Uncut: My Story.”
The admission that took Shaq by surprise. The sentence that didn’t arrive at the beginning of his story, but arrived when he was well aware of the disjointedness that existed in his family tree. An interaction that occurred when the Hall of Famer was already an adult with his own kids to raise.
Their first encounter could have been filled with anger and resentment, but to his credit, O’Neal chose to look past the man who abandoned him.
The moment
Over the years, Shaq described most of his childhood memories as positive. Though his family lacked money, his upbringing was full of joy, laughter and strong traditional values. These were put in place by the parents who raised him. His mother was soft and caring, sacrificing much for her kids. His dad was a hardened military figure who raised his son with structure and discipline.
As the years went by and O’Neal accumulated generational wealth, skyrocketed to superstardom and started his own family, the need for a relationship with his biological father faded. As the decades passed, he placed less and less importance on building any sort of relationship or understanding about the man who was supposed to raise him — until they finally met in 2016.
It wasn’t O’Neal’s idea to meet the man who left when he was born. His mother encouraged the meeting, believing it was right for both men. She wanted her son to meet his biological father, even if no connection followed.
The man’s name was Joseph Toney. After years in the dark, he finally met the player known as one of the greatest centers ever. Interestingly, after their meeting, they began to build a relationship.
Still, O’Neal kept his deep respect and love for his stepfather, Phillip Harrison. Their meeting happened at a restaurant in New Jersey, where Toney lived. It was an emotional rollercoaster for the former Los Angeles Lakers big man.
“I had this guy at home who sure acted like my daddy. When you are a kid, all you know is what you’ve got,” he said.
During the encounter, Shaq told Joseph, “I’m not mad at you. I don’t hate you.”
He focused instead on building a present-day connection.
The legacy
For most of O’Neal’s childhood, he believed his stepfather, Phillip Harrison, was his real father. This lasted until age 11, when he noticed differences in family names.
Harrison passed away in 2013, which prompted O’Neal to consider reaching out to Toney. This initial difficulty led to a heartfelt reunion, even if it happened decades late.
This story shows that legacy is passed forward, not backward. The values O’Neal carries and gives his children didn’t come from biology. They came from an example.
Meeting his biological father brought closure and helped Toney find his place in O’Neal’s journey. It shows the type of character Shaq is. He could have avoided the truth or refused to face it, and been within his rights. But he chose bravery and open-mindedness. That is part of what makes Shaq relatable.
Millions know what it’s like to have absent parents, late reunions, or unresolved identity questions. Stories like this can give people courage. They show everything can be okay in the end. Facing childhood questions can be daunting, but also rewarding when it fills a long-time void.
Shaq chose not to judge his biological father. He didn’t dwell on the past, but sought a gradual, respectful connection by talking and sharing meals. Despite all the championships, accolades, and records, perhaps that is his greatest achievement.
This story was originally published by Basketball Network on Dec 25, 2025, where it first appeared in the Off The Court section. Add Basketball Network as a Preferred Source by clicking here.