{"id":16193,"date":"2025-05-07T14:42:12","date_gmt":"2025-05-07T14:42:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nba\/16193\/"},"modified":"2025-05-07T14:42:12","modified_gmt":"2025-05-07T14:42:12","slug":"how-tyrese-haliburton-rediscovered-his-basketball-joy-i-was-struggling-to-look-at-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nba\/16193\/","title":{"rendered":"How Tyrese Haliburton rediscovered his basketball joy: \u2018I was struggling to look at myself\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

CLEVELAND \u2014 Tyrese Haliburton might be on top of the world now<\/a>, but he remembers the day he couldn\u2019t look in the mirror.<\/p>\n

Back in Indiana after a brutal loss to Charlotte in early November, he didn\u2019t want to go to work the next day. The New York Knicks, whose season he ended in the playoffs a few months earlier, were in town. But he couldn\u2019t stop thinking about the stinker he put up in Madison Square Garden two weeks earlier in the Pacers\u2019 second game of the 2024-25 season.<\/p>\n

Zero points. Not a single bucket. The Knicks had their revenge over his Pacers, and he was floundering, the quicksand of doubt pulling him in.<\/p>\n

His friends and family told him he was fine, to keep shooting through his cold streak. Things would even out. He wanted to listen. He wanted to be grateful and optimistic. But he couldn\u2019t do it anymore.<\/p>\n

They just didn\u2019t know how much pain he was holding in.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was really trying to run away from what was going on and I think that point was for me to be like, \u2018Yo, I don\u2019t feel like myself. I don\u2019t feel all right. This s\u2014, it\u2019s bad.\u2019\u201d Haliburton told The Athletic\u00a0in a phone interview last month. \u201cI (was) struggling to look at myself in the mirror. I\u2019m struggling to show up to work and get to the gym. I\u2019m trying to avoid coming to work.\u201d<\/p>\n

Haliburton plays with so much joy, so this was a surprising admission from the player leading the most surprising potential upset of the playoffs right now. He took over the fourth quarter of Sunday\u2019s Game 1 against the top-seeded Cleveland Cavaliers, then followed it up with a game-winning 3 with 1.1 seconds left Tuesday to put the Pacers up 2-0 in the series.<\/p>\n

Even with his left arm looking mummified to stabilize a wrist injury he suffered earlier in the game, he was able to pull the Cavs\u2019 injured defense apart when it mattered most in the 120-119 comeback victory.<\/p>\n

Back in August, Haliburton was grappling with the double-edged sword of his frequent source of motivation. He actively reads his social media mentions when he\u2019s not playing his best, knowing he can shut trolls up from the court. But after spending the early part of the summer recovering from the hamstring injury he dealt with at the end of last season, Haliburton re-aggravated it while with Team USA at the Paris Olympics and barely played in the tournament. To the outside world, he was the 12th man on a 12-man team. He even playfully made light of it when the team won the gold.<\/p>\n

When you ain\u2019t do nun on the group project and still get an A\ud83c\udfc5 pic.twitter.com\/xpshYZhMyA<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2014 Tyrese Haliburton (@TyHaliburton22) August 10, 2024<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the season when everybody\u2019s talking s\u2014, I have the power to go out on the court and change people\u2019s opinions,\u201d Haliburton said. \u201cWith the Olympics, what could I do? I wasn\u2019t playing, so there was only so much response I could give you. And I think that I just got consumed with the negativity of people talking s\u2014.\u201d<\/p>\n

Waiting to be cleared for on-court work again, Haliburton spent the rest of the summer dwelling on the Olympics clowning. When his performances became inconsistent at the start of the new season, his propensity for reading all sorts of online criticism became overwhelming.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got consumed with it to the point where I stopped seeking it, and that was a negative for me, because that\u2019s not who I am,\u201d he said. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to tackle things head-on. I didn\u2019t want to look at myself in the mirror. I was just trying to almost run from the spotlight. I\u2019ve always been a guy who pushed into that and I love being in that, so it was a weird feeling. I\u2019ve never felt that insecurity before, and that was a reality check for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Haliburton said he has spent the last two years going to therapy, using the Pacers\u2019 sports psychology services and seeing his own private therapist. In September, the Pacers brought a full-time mental health specialist in-house, hiring Jamie Rubin as director of sport psychology and team wellness after she spent five years working with the Minnesota Twins and Lynx.<\/p>\n

But after Haliburton couldn\u2019t find his rhythm in the early weeks of the season, averaging fewer than 15 points on 38 percent shooting in his first nine games, his crisis of confidence reached a nadir. He was truly unhappy in a way he hadn\u2019t experienced in the NBA before and didn\u2019t feel comfortable telling most of his peers or loved ones.<\/p>\n

With the Knicks in town and his early-season goose egg fresh in his mind, Haliburton called someone he knew would cut to the chase, who always told him the things he didn\u2019t want to hear.<\/p>\n

Drew Hanlen has been Haliburton\u2019s skill trainer since 2022, but has become far more than that in the ensuing years. A former sharpshooter at Belmont University who counts Jayson Tatum, Joel Embiid and Giannis Antetokounmpo as his clients, Hanlen\u2019s relationship with Haliburton is more akin to a life coach who is happy to set him straight.<\/p>\n

Usually, that means shoving Haliburton through apprehension. Hanlen leads with tough love, often texting Haliburton at halftime to get his act together or burying him in film detailing all his mistakes. He would always chide Haliburton anytime they bumped into a mental block, daring him to resist being feeble enough to bend to the will of doubt.<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes I\u2019ll say something and he\u2019ll be like, \u2018Tyrese, shut the f\u2014 up. That\u2019s not the problem,\u2019\u201d Haliburton said. \u201cMental health professionals probably give me a much more PG answer, where Drew is not afraid to be like, \u2018Yo, shut the f\u2014 up. That\u2019s not the issue. Let\u2019s go back into different layers and talk more about that.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Typically, Haliburton would stand tall, shake things off and find his way. But this time, Haliburton laid it all out there: The fear of failure, the feeling of being lost, the desire to avoid the gym and all of the outside noise it represented. Hanlen listened, helping Haliburton peel back all the layers.<\/p>\n

\u201cI spend very little time trying to convince (players) to do anything,\u201d Hanlen told The Athletic. \u201cInstead, I try to connect with them, listen to them, hear them out, and then try to rewire what\u2019s possible in their mind and why it should matter.\u201d<\/p>\n

It can be scary to be vulnerable, whether out of fear of rejection or letting loved ones down by not being strong. But for Haliburton, that moment felt liberating. The conversation with Hanlen made him feel comfortable coming to his girlfriend, Jade, and loved ones with his struggles. It was the first step toward shaping a healthier mindset.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hadn\u2019t told anybody and I really obviously didn\u2019t want to tell anybody,\u201d Haliburton said. \u201cAnd so when me and Drew finally had that conversation and tried to figure out the right way to shift things from there, I think that that was really important for me. And I think it, very much so, led to the shift that I\u2019ve had this season.\u201d<\/p>\n

The next day, Haliburton entered Gainbridge Fieldhouse with one thing on his mind: Take down the Knicks by attacking without reservation. Thirty-five points and a comeback win later, he was on the long road to resurgence.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just remember I felt, in that moment, just right from the jump, I felt like myself again,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Tyrese Haliburton credits a phone call before an early-season game against the Knicks as a key turning point in his season. (Trevor Ruszkowski \/ Imagn)<\/p>\n

The rebirth didn\u2019t happen overnight. The Pacers began the season 10-15, as Haliburton\u2019s numbers dipped to a pedestrian 17.5 points and 8.4 assists per game on just 42 percent from the floor. The Pacers fell well short of the NBA Cup knockout stages one year after a run to the title game put Haliburton and Indiana on the map.<\/p>\n

With no trip to Vegas, Haliburton had time to ruminate. His backcourt partner, Andrew Nembhard, returned from left knee tendinitis, giving Haliburton the freedom to operate away from the ball and maximize his skill set. The Pacers went on a five-game winning streak and vaulted from 11th to fourth in the East by mid-February. Haliburton shot 40.3 percent from 3 from Dec. 13 until the All-Star Game, which he missed for the first time in three seasons. Then, he returned from the break on fire, averaging 20.6 points, 11.0 assists and just 1.2 turnovers per game while shooting 43.9 percent in the final third of the season.<\/p>\n

The Pacers went 16-5 over their final 21 games before steamrolling the Milwaukee Bucks in the first round. Now they return to Indiana with a 2-0 lead over Cleveland that few people saw coming, particularly with the way he won both games with the ball in his hands.<\/p>\n

Isolation has never been Haliburton\u2019s strong suit. Unlike most stars who crave it, he\u2019s an offensive engine that conducts a breakneck system that has long been geared for him to set everyone else up. On defense, teams target him in one-on-one situations, hoping the Pacers\u2019 defense breaks.<\/p>\n

When Haliburton first met with Hanlen midway through his second season, he asked the coach to teach him to improve his scoring chops. Hanlen told him he\u2019d take the job, but their focus was going to be on shifting his mindset, not just his skill set.<\/p>\n

To this day, Hanlen texts Haliburton two words before every game: Orange thing.<\/p>\n

He wants Haliburton\u2019s mantra to be about scoring in that orange rim Hanlen keeps talking about, even if five defenders stand in his way. He\u2019ll show up to Haliburton\u2019s games and write it in big orange letters on his phone, holding it up courtside and yelling at Haliburton during play.<\/p>\n

Following their regular pre-game film review Tuesday morning, Hanlen sent Haliburton a text with 26 orange emoji, ranging from a comet to a carrot to the Japanese Kanji character for \u201cacceptable.\u201d By the end of the night, it was clear Haliburton received the message. It\u2019s not that hard to convince Haliburton to look for the orange thing anymore.<\/p>\n

There was another moment earlier in the playoffs that illustrated Haliburton\u2019s comfort in his own skin. In mid-April, Haliburton and the basketball world learned his peers voted him the NBA\u2019s most overrated player in The Athletic\u2019s annual anonymous player poll<\/a>. It was a fitting bookend to a season that began with Haliburton feeling weighed down by a cacophony of fan criticism.<\/p>\n

Haliburton\u2019s coach, Rick Carlisle, defended him and other \u201cmost overrated\u201d vote recipients like Jimmy Butler and Antetokounmpo.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanna see the guy\u2019s faces that voted (for) those guys. I wanna see the faces of those guys,\u201d Carlisle told reporters after the Pacers\u2019 Game 2 win over the Bucks in the first round. \u201cThis is a bulls\u2014 poll. Not everybody even answered in the poll, alright? Guys were able to answer (only) if they wanted to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Haliburton\u2019s reaction?\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cI think at this point, it\u2019s just more something to laugh at,\u201d Haliburton said. \u201cS\u2014, Rick was not a fan.\u201d<\/p>\n

Haliburton credits Embiid and Tatum for \u201ckeeping it 100\u201d conversations that helped him build that immunity to rejection. Embiid, who has been subject to ridicule as he fails to stay healthy, has been texting with Haliburton throughout the postseason, imploring him to shoot the ball more.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt some point, worrying about what my peers think only holds so much weight. I think my peers (whom) I really respect, that changes things,\u201d Haliburton said. \u201cFor that poll, there\u2019s no names to faces, it\u2019s all anonymous. Having relationships with guys like Jayson and Joel, who are guys that I know at the top of the game, them being honest with me, that\u2019s important. I respect their opinions more than anybody.\u201d<\/p>\n

With the Pacers heading back to Indiana in full control and Haliburton\u2019s heroics defining this second-round series, he shouldn\u2019t have much trouble shaking the overrated label. As Cavs fans showered him with \u201coverrated\u201d chants when Haliburton stepped to the line just before halftime Tuesday night, he was unbothered. It was just something to laugh at now.<\/p>\n

He couldn\u2019t see it behind him, but Donovan Mitchell was motioning to the crowd to stop the chant. As a fellow All-Star, he could guess how the trolling would fuel Haliburton.<\/p>\n

In the end, he was right.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat one was unexpected. I didn\u2019t know we had beef,\u201d Haliburton told reporters after Game 2. \u201cNow that that label\u2019s there, it\u2019s going to be that every time we play somebody on the road. It\u2019ll probably follow me until the next poll comes out and we\u2019ll see if I\u2019m No. 1 again.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut for me, I just control what I can, man. Overrate that.\u201d<\/p>\n

(Top photo: Joe Murphy \/ NBAE via Getty Images)<\/p>\n