Good for you. I\u2019m not having fun. I hate it here.<\/p>\n
(Not TheDreamShake. I love it here.)<\/p>\n
The Rockets just have not felt fun in 2025-26. Consider this a safe space for complaining. There should be no Wizards fans in our ranks to point out that it could be worse.<\/p>\n
Realistically, that\u2019s the perspective we all need to maintain. As Rockets fans, we\u2019re relatively lucky. In my all-time NBA franchise power rankings (wait, you don\u2019t have a fluid all-time NBA franchise power ranking list?), we rank 8th. That\u2019s one spot ahead of the Pistons, who have one more title, but a far lower all-time win percentage. That\u2019s the definitive criterion, and there can be no debate on the issue.<\/p>\n
Anyway, in the midst of a disappointing Rockets season that comes in the midst of the potential collapse of Western Society that comes amidst rising sea levels, it\u2019s a good time to reflect. So, this is my all-time Rockets Role Player Starting Five.<\/p>\n
Caveat: It\u2019s my starting five. That means it only includes players I personally watched, which limits the field to players who\u2019ve been on the roster since 1998.<\/p>\n
Yes, I know Mad Max or Robert Horry should be here. I simply can\u2019t speak about them with the same sanguine sentimentality that I have for these guys.<\/p>\n
With that out of the way\u2026<\/p>\n
All-Time Rockets Role Player Starting Five<\/p>\n
Beverley is likely my favorite guy who\u2019ll appear on this list, although he\u2019s got one competitor. On that note: When it comes to being competitive, Beverley had no competition*<\/p>\n
*Besides the aforementioned one competitor.<\/p>\n
Irritant? Look it up in the dictionary. There\u2019s Beverley\u2019s (expletive)-eating grin. He\u2019s going to make you reconsider this whole NBA Superstar career path. Perhaps data entry could be rewarding.<\/p>\n
Beverley is of a bygone era. There used to be more Patrick Beverleys in the NBA (shoutout to New Orleans\u2019 Jose Alvarado), but none of them were ever as Beverley-ish as Beverley himself.<\/p>\n
Full disclosure – this was the most difficult position to pick.<\/p>\n
You see, back in the day, when kids respected their elders and, to have a camera phone, you\u2019d have to superglue a camera to a phone, off-guards were seldom role players. In this newfangled world, it\u2019s almost all they are.<\/p>\n
Barry was neat. There\u2019s some nostalgia in the idea of this humble-looking, balding white dude cashing triples. If Barry were at your local gym for pickup, you\u2019d grab him last:<\/p>\n
And you\u2019d look very, very foolish.<\/p>\n
There are effectively two ways to be an NBA role player. You can try harder than everyone. That\u2019s the more conventional route. Alternatively, you can be an extracting genius who meticulously manages every detail of every moment to ensure the best possible outcome.<\/p>\n
That was Shane Battier. He seldom gambled on defense. Instead, he literally innovated a technique for annoying opponents. Battier was surely the first guy to defend jumpers by sticking his hand in your face.<\/p>\n
In fact, this dude had a precise method for guarding every opponent. If his assignment struggled going left, Battier would force him left. If he shot below average between 10-and-16 feet, that\u2019s where he\u2019d cede ground.<\/p>\n
As long as you didn\u2019t get what you wanted, Battier was happy.<\/p>\n
So, about Beverley\u2019s aforementioned competition\u2026<\/p>\n
The 2017-18 Rockets were the best Rockets I had the privilege of watching. If you were an active fan during the back-to-back runs, you likely already resent this article, and I already resent you, so we\u2019re even.<\/p>\n
Tucker was the heart and soul of those teams. He took every single basket the opposing team scored personally. Tucker\u2019s defensive assignment was generally \u201ceveryone\u201d. His ability to guard 1-through-5 was the lynchpin of the defense, but his willingness to do so was the secret sauce.<\/p>\n
Loved the guy. How could you not? Loose balls, extra efforts, offensive rebounds. The little things. A beautifully chaotic, downright angry brand of basketball.<\/p>\n
The 2017-18 Rockets were the best team I ever watched, but the 2007-08 Rockets were close.<\/p>\n
If the pattern holds, keep an eye on the 2027-28 season.<\/p>\n
Those Rockets won an astonishing 22 games in a row. Yao Ming got injured partway through the streak, and it was presumed dead.<\/p>\n
Luckily, a 41-year-old oak tree of a man was there to wave his finger in the face of fortune.<\/p>\n
Mutumbo averaged 12.9 rebounds and 3.0 blocks per 75 possessions that season. Perhaps his productivity in Ming\u2019s absence shouldn\u2019t have been a surprise. Still, extrapolating per-possession numbers for a 41-year-old is a dangerous proposition:<\/p>\n
But not in Mutombo\u2019s case.<\/p>\n
He did the same thing he\u2019d done his whole career. Mutumbo altered the course of basketball games, whether he was scoring points or not. His battle-forged, next-man-up mentality couldn\u2019t save the team\u2019s title odds, but it did save their historic winning streak.<\/p>\n
I couldn\u2019t not include Eason. I could have slotted Battier to the 2, but then I wouldn\u2019t get the Jon Barry jokes off. So, why not add a sixth man to the mix?<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve written on Eason ad nauseam. His combined ability to collect offensive rebounds and steal the ball secures the Rockets more extra possessions than an Exorcist bonus scene*<\/p>\n
Eason has endeared himself to lots of Rockets fans. The only questions are whether he can stay healthy and whether the team will retain him.<\/p>\n
If the answers are both yes, he\u2019ll be named in new versions of this article for decades to come.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Good for you. I\u2019m not having fun. I hate it here. (Not TheDreamShake. I love it here.) The…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":536617,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3794],"tags":[7,292,194,4066,6,211,41944],"class_list":{"0":"post-536616","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-houston-rockets","8":"tag-basketball","9":"tag-houston","10":"tag-houston-rockets","11":"tag-houstonrockets","12":"tag-nba","13":"tag-rockets","14":"tag-rockets-history"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/channels.im\/@nba\/115895021356505421","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/536616","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=536616"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/536616\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/536617"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=536616"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=536616"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nba\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=536616"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}