Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay has been dead less than four months, and we’ve been recovering from the shock and doing what we do in times of mourning: We move on, as did the Colts. But then comes a story, exhaustively reported by the Washington Post, about Irsay’s final years, months, days … even hours.
The story was brutal, powerful, visceral, painful.
Was it necessary?
That’s among the questions I raised to IndyStar readers in our text message group. Join us – it’s free – on the link below any of my online columns. And your texts lead to the weekly Mailbagg.
From: Me, to the group
Jim Irsay’s miserable ending was detailed today in a Washington Post story I wish I didn’t have to read.
If Irsay’s brutal, losing battle with addiction can teach us anything, it is this: Don’t give your struggling friends “room to heal.” Silence is not kindness. Silence kills.
That’s the lesson, loud and clear, from May 21 in Bungalow 23A of the Beverly Hills Hotel.
Then the link to the column. Then came the response, and it was enormous.
And it was incredibly personal.
Doyel on late Colts owner: Jim Irsay’s final years were a nightmare. Do we deserve to know that?
Readers share addiction stories
From: Matthew S.
My brother died because we all gave him space.
Hugs for you, Matt. And thank you for this reminder to the rest of us: Call your friend. Yes, that one. Call, and make sure they’re OK.
From: Kevin H.
Beautifully done, as one who lost a partner to that terrible disease.
I’m sorry, Kevin, for what everyone there has had to go through.
From: Charles R.
I’m in recovery myself. Watching the piece on the news, I’m only struck by profound sadness – and a lot of questions – though getting those answers really isn’t my business. Call your friends.
Amen, Charles. Call our friends. I pray your friends are calling you.
From: Randy R.
The Post was wrong; Irsay deserved silence after his death. The time for talk was while he was alive – talk from his friends and family. One of my sons is in Palm Springs, a recovering alcoholic in a wonderful AA program. He met his wife in the same program. Do I call him often enough? He told me not to. I believe he has recovered and is in a good place. I think about him often. Your story, too insightful, troubles me.
Can you call your son too often? Maybe, but that seems the better alternative than not calling often enough. If you don’t make the perfect amount of calls – and it’s hard to be perfect, in anything – here’s my advice:
Miss on the side of reaching out too much.
More on Washington Post’s Jim Irsay expose
From: Joseph L.
I don’t understand why Dr. Harry Haroutunian was allowed to be part of Irsay’s recovery team. I hope this story is the catalyst to an investigation into his practice, and care of Irsay.
Short of having him committed, which they might have tried to do – who knows? – I’m not sure his daughters, or anyone, could have stopped someone as wealthy and strong-willed as Jim Irsay from getting the care he wanted.
I agree with your second sentence. I agree strongly.
From: Jeff G.
I hurt for that nurse in Bal Harbour, Fla., who got fired for trying to do the right thing.
And I can’t get past the implication that, from Carmel to Bal Harbour to California, how many law enforcement personnel – let alone medical people with real responsibilities – looked the other way for Jim Irsay? To me, that was the point of the WaPo story. Not to tear down a man who meant well and did much good, but to shine a light on a system that enables one and punishes others. But there’s no way to ask that without dragging some of the “privacy” away from the Irsay family. And the other side of the balance is hundreds or even thousands of people in Marion County alone.
There are two Americas, to be sure. One for the incredibly wealthy, and one for the rest of us – and that second America gets less and less forgiving, the less affluent we get. As I find myself writing that sentence, I am convinced anew: The Post did a public service by finding, and publishing, that story.
From: Kyle S.
Isn’t there some hypocrisy here in the Irsay family saying you should not be ashamed of your addiction or mental illness while covering up Irsay’s? Instead of admitting that relapse is part of every recovery and talking about his ongoing struggles to help others relate, they hid it for potentially their own personal interests.
So many questions.
From: Andrew P.
I was once a substance-abuse counselor in a methadone clinic. I’d always tell my patients: The opposite of addiction is connection. I think Jim must have led a lonely life. My heart goes out to him. I hope he’s found peace.
That was the theme at his funeral in June at St. Luke’s Methodist Church, the hope that he had finally found peace. That’s when it seemed clear that his final months – or even years – weren’t what anyone would’ve wished for him.
Doyel: They’re telling stories at Jim Irsay’s service. You don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Did local media miss Jim Irsay story?
From: Ben K.
My question is NOT being accusatory … but how does a story like Irsay’s final months get reported by a national news organization, not local media? I don’t know how things work – if you’re given permission to do the story, etc. Just so I’m clear, this is NOT implying anyone didn’t do their job.
You’re raising a question many are asking, and as always, Doctor Ben, you raise it with class.
Couple things:
One, I think this particular story had to start with a tip to a Post reporter. Media can’t just call clinics or doctors or the Colts and ask open-ended questions, like: “We’re pretty sure Jim Irsay was battling addiction to the end. Please give us details.”
No, someone with intimate knowledge (and dismay) about Irsay’s final months – I’m guessing it was someone from Bal Harbour – contacted the Post, and put the Post in touch with other, likeminded people also dismayed about the way Irsay was allowed to live and, ultimately, die.
I can promise you this: The IndyStar didn’t get that tip. If we had, we’d have tried our best to find enough evidence to write the story. Getting the tip isn’t enough. A story like that is so explosive, a single misstep can lead to an enormous civil lawsuit against the news organization that prints it.
Don’t misunderstand: We’re not scared of stories like this. Our smallish-but-mighty paper won a Pulitzer Prize in 2021 for investigative reporting – a series investigating IMPD’s dog bites – and IndyStar should’ve won another for stopping evil Dr. Larry Nassar and exposing the systemic rot within USA Gymnastics in 2016. Those also were explosive stories, but we received tips and followed up and in both cases made the world a safer place.
We didn’t get that chance on this one.
Colts GM Chris Ballard lashes out
From: Me to the group
Hey folks. Colts GM Chris Ballard is always feisty and often combative during press conferences, but his performance today suggests he’s feeling the heat of eight years on the job without an AFC South title. Tired of QB questions, Ballard fired back at local reporters and, um, you – if you’re the “dude” who wrote him that “nasty” email from your “basement.”
Hot off the presses! My latest:
Then the link to the column. Then came the response, and it was large, but we’re running out of space here. So just printing one. Well, two.
Doyel: Colts GM Chris Ballard is tired of your quarterback questions
From: Jeff B.
I feel like Ballard is about to go full Col. Jessup on the media…
One of my favorite movies, “A Few Good Men.” One the best acting performances ever: Jack Nicholson as always feisty, often combative Col. Nathan Jessup. And perhaps the best monologue in modern movie history, set up by Jessup’s iconic line: “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”
From: Jeff B., again
You want answers, Gregg? You want the truth about Anthony Richardson?
You sit there with your microphones and your notepads, demanding explanations, like you’re owed something. You think running a football team is clean and simple? That it’s just stats and highlight reels?
You can’t handle the truth.
Because the truth is, Anthony Richardson isn’t ready. Yes, he’s gifted. Yes, he looks like the prototype. You want to know why he’s not out there? It’s because he can’t consistently deliver. Not in practice, not in games, not in the moments that matter.
I’ve got a franchise to protect. I’ve got 52 other men depending on me to make decisions that keep this team moving forward. You’re damn right I benched him. Because Anthony Richardson isn’t the answer. That’s the truth. And deep down, whether you print it or not, you know it.
An Oscar for you. Best supporting text message.
IU football’s ugly win vs. ODU
From: Me to the group, Saturday at 8:39 pm
You know my rule? No texts after 9 pm…
Well look at the time!
And look at that IU football game today. Ugly wins are the absolute hardest game columns for me to write. How do you get the correct tone for a disappointing WIN? I tried here, on an IU football team that has a long way to go to beat Big Ten teams.
Then the link to the column. Then the response.
Doyel on IU vs. ODU: Hoosiers have a long way to go, and only a few weeks to get there
From: Tim S.
It’s too soon to sound the alarm. It’s only week one. You could literally lose a home game to Northern Illinois and still make the college football playoff championship game!
I see what you did there. Notre Dame football’s 2024 season, from start to finish, summed up in your final 17 words.
From: Rob K.
I haven’t read your column yet, but thinking it was knee-jerk. Maybe I’ll change my take after reading it. I love how the play-calling had #iufb QB Fernando Mendoza going downfield. He has a gun for an arm and I think he will zero in on receivers. They let the Big Ten know: Load the box at your own risk. I really think that was the message today. Maybe they won’t be good, but they’ll be much more fun to watch than the Colts. Maybe your column will knock more sense into me.
Well, did you read it? Did it knock more sense into you??
From: Rob K.
How the hell do you follow up on THAT when you have more than 2,000 subscribers? You make perfect sense, and I get the reason for concern. My take is I think they could’ve scored more than 50 on Old Dominion. I think this game was more about optics than the final score. I SO would have liked to poke holes in your article, but while can’t argue – I am optimistic! Hope married life is agreeing with you.
Love this Rob. Thank you! Married life is awesome. Just beyond blessed here.
And thank you for noticing my follow-up. It’s not easy, no, but this matters. I appreciate you.
I appreciate everyone. See those responses to the Irsay story? How PERSONAL readers were willing to get? Priceless. Thank you all.
Not printing these
From: Mike U.
Follow-up on your column on IndyCar’s relationship with Barstool’s Dave Portnoy:
While watching Sunday’s race, I hit the mute button as soon as he started talking, and I left the room. I have several friends seriously considering what to do with their 2026 Indianapolis 500 tickets, considering this cesspool with IndyCar, Penske Entertainment, Fox and their association with this White House.
In our polarized world, catering to one group of people risks alienating another. Cater wisely.
Doyel: IndyCar, Barstool’s Dave Portnoy an unholy alliance made with Roger Penske’s blessing
From: Alex H.
Don’t forget about the school in West Lafayette
It’s just one week into the season! I’ll write about Purdue football, promise. I have my eye on Sept. 13 vs. Southern California, but I have something massively important, and personal, happening that weekend. Not sure I can do it all. That would be the ONLY reason I wouldn’t write about that game. Promise.
Find IndyStar columnist Gregg Doyel on Threads, or on BlueSky and Twitter at @GreggDoyelStar, or at www.facebook.com/greggdoyelstar. Subscribe to the free weekly Doyel on Demand newsletter.