After only three days of rest since their unexpected trouncing of the Falcons in Week 8, the Fins were at it again: this time at home against the 3-5 Ravens, a team struggling as of late without their star quarte— JK, he’s back.

Jackson’s return brought everything to equilibrium

Beating Atlanta by 24 points was not something the Fin faithful anticipated. The Ravens being 3-5 is likely not something that the Vens (?) faithful anticipated either. But the instant Lamar Jackson was announced to be returning from injury, both fan bases knew exactly what was coming.

The Dolphins immediately reverted to what they do best: not covering tight ends, not playing run defense, and not winning prime time games.

Mark Andrews, Charlie Kolar, and Isaiah Likely, all playing tight end for Baltimore, collectively put up 105 yards on 7 receptions and scored 3 touchdowns. Some real throwback Dolphins defense right there to get everyone’s juices flowing.

Playing another hit from the vault (though this one a more 2025 era track), the defense also decided not to defend the run. While yes, the guy running the ball is Derrick Henry, it’s still an option to try to knock him over. Instead, he racked up 119 yards on 19 carries (good for a paltry 6.3 yards per carry average) with four more ball carriers tacking on 31 additional yards to hit an even 150 on the day. After holding Bijan Robinson to 45 yards just days earlier, the Dolphins’ run defense remembered the face of their fathers and went back to being bad.

To pull it all together with a nice little bow on top, everyone on Miami’s side worked diligently to ensure that the team would continue its seemingly perpetual inability to win prime time games. Losing 6-28 on Thursday Night Football certainly fits the bill.

They’ve got a Monday Night game at Pittsburgh in Week 15 immediately followed by a Sunday Night game against Cincinnati Week 16. When they drop both of those in embarassing fashion, we fans can take comfort as we did this blessed Thursday that all is right with the world.

Miami’s offense was uninspiring

Tua went 25/40 (63%) for 261 yards, 0 TDs, and 1 INT. He tooks 2 sacks. His offense scored 6 points.

De’Von Achane did his best with 14 carries, turning them into 67 yards, while the team as a whole totaled 87 yards on the ground.

Jaylen Waddle pulled down 6 catches for 82 yards.

Greg Dulcich added 49 yards on 5 receptions.

Reading these stats like this is how it felt watching the game: uninspiring.

The preceding are all technically sentences the way that this game was technically football, but who cares enough to slog through it?

Each week I plan to avoid the scores until the first round of games are done and then watch the replay with NFL+ Game Pass (now available anywhere fans can be gouged!). Since this was a prime time game, I accidentally saw the score on a bar TV late in the 3rd quarter. When I went back to watch the replay, the condensed version at 38 minutes still felt like more of a time commitment than this warranted.

It feels like no one cares. Not the front office, not the coaching staff, not the players, and not even the fans.

OGII’s sideline reaction was inspiring

My man Ollie ‘OGII’ Gordon II got called for tripping by the Thursday Night officiating crew, captained by head refs Melon and Lemon Jefferson, on an otherwise excellent pass play.

On the sideline, running back coach Eric Studesville lost it on Gordon.

Gordon (again), my man, lost it back.

Even in the throes of a wasted season in a blowout loss on a night when he left with an injury, Ollie Gordon cared enough to go nuts on the sideline.

The Dolphins’ pass rushers are ghosts

This is the best Halloween reference I can make.

Miami’s pass rush was going to take the league by storm this year. Instead, it’s on pace to be a total washout.

There are rumors that the Fins are looking to ship one of their pass rushers before the November 4th deadline (meaning they’ll either have done it or not by the time this gets out), but whoever’s looking to buy has to be buying low.

Bradley Chubb is underperforming his contract, Jaelen Phillips is oft-injured and isn’t elevating the guys around him, and Chop Robinson is hardly getting enough snaps to make a mark (which may say something about him on its own).

To me, the writing is on the wall for this position group getting at least a minor overhaul, likely with the majority of the other position groups, to be fair. I’d keep the youth and try to shed some contract weight. I also would fist fight the kangaroos at the zoo with enough Rumplemintz flowing through me (read: not that much), so I’m probably not the best source for decision making.

Whether Miami keeps its current cadre in tact or sends some of it out into the world, they have to figure out a way to generate meaningful pressure on opposing passers.

It can’t be like this for 8 more.

Weekly Overreaction: Replacing Chris Grier will turn it all around

And just as my despair was reaching its zenith, here comes Stephen Ross off the top rope, dropping a modified People’s Elbow on one particular roody poo candy ass in the form of General Manager Chris Grier.

Now, of course, they characterized it in the media as a ‘mutual parting of ways’, as one does when they’ve made a lifelong career out of never saying anything real. But no matter the internal machinations that got us here: it’s a move in the right direction, if only because it’s a move in any direction at all.

I haven’t been an ardent Grier oppositionist (or believer), but I can also recognize the glaringly obvious reality that he’s been a notable part of the franchise for 20+ years and hasn’t elevated it into being a true contender.

The parallels between my two teams right now are strong:

Penn State fired its head coach because they had experienced the ceiling under his leadership and it wasn’t a Championship.

Miami fired (mutually parted ways with, yeahokaySteve) its General Manager because they had experienced the ceiling under his leadership and it wasn’t a Superbowl.

If winning a championship is truly the goal of an organization, then there has to be a time to admit when that goal can’t be reached with things as they are.

Even if Miami goes off, hires some worthless GM who previously spent his days writing list-based articles on a fan site and watching too much Dark Side of the Ring, and sees themselves propelled at warp speed into an irredeemable hole of ineptitude: it will still have been the right call to let Grier go.

There’s no guarantee the next step will be the best one, but this first step is the right one.

Will Champ Kelly stay on as Miami’s GM after this year? Will Mike McDaniel continue to coach into the 2030’s? Will Stephen Ross reveal he’s been a lizard in people skin all along? Stay tuned to As The Fins Turn in the comments below.