If you’ve ever dealt with a bonehead before, you know that if you want them to change their ways, you have to make them think that everything was their idea. Nick Sirianni is a certified bonehead.Over the past 13 weeks, countless people have thrown out ideas on ways that the Philadelphia Eagles can change their offense to make it less miserable. They have the same film as everyone else, and if everyone else is pointing out fixes, then that means Sirianni isn’t the one pointing it out, and it’s not his idea.
So here’s the plan: Treat everything as a perpetual opposite day. As a collective, we have to stop saying what will work and what won’t work. Instead, as a collective, we have to start saying things that won’t work and act like they will work.
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Clearly, trying to manifest good things isn’t working, so worst-case scenario, we’re changing things up by manifesting the wrong things… Best-case scenario, these make their way across Nick Sirianni’s desk, and he does the opposite.
Super easy, totally serious ways to definitely fix the Eagles’ offense
Typically, the thought is that for a team to be competitive in the postseason, it needs a good offense and a mediocre defense. The Eagles are the opposite: they have an elite defense, and they just need the offense to be slightly better than the worst.
Regardless of how bleak everything looks right now, there is a possibility that the Eagles’ offense can become ‘a little better than terrible,’ ride the defense, and maybe have a chance in the postseason. Here are some ways:
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Less meaningful motion
Route combinations are for chumps and teams with talentless receivers who need to be schemed open. The Eagles’ receivers are incredibly talented and can beat anyone covering them.
Do you know how humiliating it is for a defender to get beaten one-on-one by A.J. Brown? Not only does he catch the ball, but he does it based purely on athleticism and it breaks the cornerback’s mind. The Eagles need to keep doing more of that.
Could they put Brown in motion and have him matched up against a slot corner to make his job easier? Of course, they could, but that’d mean that he’s not being used as a pure receiver. You’re wasting his talent if you make things easier for him. To suggest that would be an indictment of your grit.
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More isolated routes
Nick Sirianni’s not an idiot. If he’s sending receivers downfield, he’s obviously going to have a couple of guys run hitches to hold the cornerbacks. That’s a tried and true scheme; there’s no reason to pivot from that with any amount of consistency.
Stressing safeties and linebackers by making them make decisions because of route combinations is for weaklings and those hippies in California. Are your players really imposing their will on the defense if the scheme is putting the defense at a disadvantage? No.
Not only that, but how is your quarterback supposed to make impressive throws if every throw is easy? Does Jalen Hurts need to play better? Of course, he does, especially if his job demands that he makes perfect, or near perfect throws.
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Is Puka Nacua getting open on every play and leading the NFL in receptions? Sure, but is he beating guys up and making them look pathetic? No. Does Matthew Stafford have to throw bombs down the sideline for the Rams’ offense to effectively move the ball? No.
A.J. Brown makes people look pathetic by bodying them. DeVonta Smith makes people look pathetic by creating his own separation.Jalen Hurts makes people look pathetic by throwing moonballs over their heads. That’s football.
Nacua needs that pretty-haired hotshot Sean McVay to get him open. That doesn’t fly in Sirianni’s offense, nor should it. His offense is about physical domination and doing super sick Bash Bros arm slams with Kevin Patullo whenever the receivers do something cool.
Less passing in general
The main thing Nick Sirianni focuses on is not turning the ball over. Against the Chargers, they ran the second-most pass plays of the entire season (43), and they turned the ball over a season-high five times.
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You want to know how many times they’ve turned the ball over rushing? Twice. If you want to protect the ball, you run it.
Not to mention, the Eagles have lost five of the seven games they’ve thrown the ball for over 200 yards. Is that a coincidence? No, of course not.
The running game hasn’t been good… yet. But the second they go away from it is the second they lose the game. After all, Saquon Barkley ran for 2,000 yards last season. Why can’t he do it again?
Don’t try to get free points
On Monday night, the Eagles did something they never do: try to score points before halftime.
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With 10 seconds left in the first half, Adoree’ Jackson intercepted Justin Herbert on the Chargers’ 45-yard line. On top of that, Kimani Vidal also got called for unnecessary roughness, so the Eagles actually got the ball on the Chargers’ 30-yard line.
Normally, Sirianni would just have the offense take a knee and go into the locker room, but with the extra 15-yard gift, their hand was forced; they had to try to score some points. They ran a passing play where every route was on the boundary, but no one was open, so Hurts threw the ball out of bounds. Jake Elliott ended up coming out for a 48-yard field goal and missed it. 37 minutes and 25 seconds of football later, the Eagles lost in overtime.
The lesson learned here is to never try to get free points at the end of a half. Scoring doesn’t outweigh the risk of going into the locker room without momentum.
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This article was originally published on www.fansided.com as Salvaging the Eagles’ season: An exercise in reverse psychology.