Vikings at Cowboys (-6½)
Minnesota sophomore quarterback J.J. McCarthy shocked the world last Sunday with a three-touchdown performance in the Vikings’ shutout of Jayden Daniels and the hapless Commanders. The Commies’ effort was the most nauseating performance to come out of the nation’s capital in at least several minutes.
Pick: Cowboys by 7
Chargers at Chiefs (-5½)
Patrick Mahomes was terrible again last Sunday night against Houston in a loss that severely damaged Kansas City’s faint playoff hopes. But on the bright side, the Chiefs’ quarterback is the early favorite to win the next FIFA Peace Prize.
Pick: Chiefs by 3
Colts at Seahawks (-10½)
Forty-four-year-old Philip Rivers is coming out of retirement to fill in for Colts QB Daniel Jones, who suffered a season-ending torn Achilles‘ tendon to go with his broken fibula. Since his retirement, the 10-time father has been mostly keeping busy by repopulating the planet.
Pick: Seahawks by 14
Raiders at Eagles (-13½)
Philly QB Jalen Hurts had a historically poor Monday night against the Chargers, committing five turnovers, including an NFL record two on a single play. It was a display of irresponsible giveaways that would make even Tim Walz blush.
Pick: Eagles by 17
Bills at Patriots (+1½)
New England needs a victory to dethrone Buffalo and clinch a division title. It would be the first since the Patriots were led to the 2019 AFC East crown by Bill Belichick, about three years before he officially turned in his Man Card.
Pick: Patriots by 3
Packers at Broncos (+1½)
It’s hard to believe, but the mildly-talented Bo Nix and his Broncos are tied for the best record in the National Football League. Colorado fans have been deliriously happy about their quarterback’s play, mostly due to the state’s historically high consumption of cannabis products.
Pick: Packers by 3
Browns at Bears (-6½)
Chicago QB Caleb Williams threw away last Sunday’s pivotal game with an ineptly underthrown pass in the final moments in Green Bay. This surprised many longtime Williams watchers who thought he’d wait until the postseason to disappoint everyone who has ever known him.
Pick: Bears by 16
Dolphins at Steelers (-3½)
Miami football fans are super excited that the Hurricanes have qualified for college football’s championship tournament. That’s because most won’t live long enough to see the Dolphins play for a championship in God’s Waiting Room.
Pick: Dolphins by 3
Ravens at Bengals (+1½)
Joe Burrow and the Bengals collapsed down the stretch last Sunday against Buffalo, all but knocking them out of the AFC playoff chase. Cincinnati sports fans haven’t been this chagrined since the last time they caught sight of Marge Schott.
Pick: Ravens by 7
Jets at Jaguars (-12½)
Jacksonville is suddenly in prime playoff position, leading the AFC South and on pace to host a first-round playoff game. Tragically, that means some unfortunate wild-card team will have to spend part of January in godforsaken Duval County.
Pick: Jaguars by 7
OTHER GAMES
Lions at Rams (-4½)
Pick: Lions by 3
Titans at 49ers (-13½)
Pick: 49ers by 17
Panthers at Saints (+2½)
Pick: Panthers by 7
Cardinals at Texans (-7½)
Pick: Texans by 7
Commanders at Giants (-1½)
Pick: Giants by 3
Record
Week 14
8-6 straight up
8-6 vs. spread
Season
130-77-1 straight up (.628)
105-103 vs. spread (.505)
All-time (2003-25)
3949-2178-15 straight up (.645)
3016-2982-145 vs spread (.503)
You can hear Kevin Cusick on Thursdays on Bob Sansevere’s “BS Show” podcast on iTunes. You can follow Kevin on X– @theloopnow. He can be reached at kcusick@pioneerpress.com.