CLEVELAND, Ohio (TheOBR.com) Good morning, Cleveland Browns fans! I’m in a bit of an irascible mood this morning, perhaps because the coffee hasn’t kicked in yet, but maybe it’s because the sports world is particularly annoying and mean to us today.
THE DAILY BLOVIATION
JESSE MINTER BAILS OUT, TOO: Sigh. At what point does this start to become a bit embarrassing? Chargers defensive whiz Jesse Minter bailed on the Browns yesterday simply because he got a better job offer from the Baltimore Ratbirds, a competent NFL team with an actual franchise quarterback. He didn’t even give Jimmy Haslam a chance to hear his pitch (limitless beef jerky!) before he bailed.
At least Grant Udinski, a possible savior for the Browns’ coaching search, didn’t flee the second he got a head coaching interview set up with the Buffalo Bills, another organization with an owner who gives questionable press conferences and keeps the GM rather than his head coach to help him out, but who is relatively inexperienced in the truck stop business. Udinski, who has resided in Florida, should know that Buffalo gets even more snow than Cleveland as he weighs his options.
But the Browns move forward, needing a Rooney Rule-compliant interview and hoping they can pull this off before candidates like Udinski and Nate Scheelhaase get scooped up by other teams. This search is just a bit unimpressive to date. We’re at the “maybe they’ll pull a rabbit out of their hat” stage.
OH NO, OUR COCLOG IS GONE! Kevin Stefanski is gone to the Atlanta Falcons as head coach, and we’re not going to get him back. You’re not going to be able to kick him around anymore. He’s going somewhere to coach better and get his players to play better, and, based on the Cleveland Browns’ history over the past 30-40 years, will likely succeed.
Along the way, he’s pulling some of his favorite people with him, including new Atlanta Falcons offensive coordinator Tommy Rees and onetime Browns offensive line coach Bill Callahan. He also retained a number of the Falcons’ current coaches.
In addition, he’s hired Jaqueline Roberts as “Manager of Coaching Operations.” This is a step up from her previous position with the Browns as “Coordinator of Coaching Logistics.” Which is a thing, apparently, although it’s unclear if she’s coaching logistics, e.g., “Here’s how to make it to the bus on time”, or if we’re talking about coaching logistics, i.e., moving the coaching staff from Point A to Point B.
I’m sure this is an important function, but it just goes to show that unlimited NFL money means you can do unlimited things and hire people to do them. Meanwhile, I can’t hire someone to post on TikTok or to find someone willing to fill the recently-opened Director of Bourbon Logistics and Inventory (DBLI) position to ensure that my Just-In-Time bourbon inventory approach doesn’t blow up in my face. The world ain’t fair.
PAT MCAFEE IS A BIG MEANIE: I guess people like Pat McAfee because he says those crazy things no one else will, and because he has a permanent dress-down policy where he works. His appeal escapes me, but I don’t comprehend why people watch most of the sports media crap they do anyway. All I know is that, based on what is successful, the OBR needs a pre-game show where we’re constantly laughing at unfunny jokes and pretending that we’re in a bar or something. As opposed to actually being in a bar, which I prefer.
McAfee, who makes millions, took time out of his busy schedule yesterday to go after generally low-paid radio show personalities who will be on Super Bowl Radio Row in the coming weeks, calling them “fat nerds”, “lazy bums”, and “basement-dwelling losers”. While I’m not heading out to Radio Row because I’m not a radio guy, I take offense to less-prominent sports media people being called “fat nerds”.
Look, I’m a fat nerd, and I can tell you from personal experience that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Walking up and down the stairs is a pain, most sweatpants are ill-fitting, and the Ho-Ho crumbs are persistently difficult to get out of your keyboard. But the nature of this business means you’re constantly tied to a computer, since it’s 24/7, and you have to stay on top of things and have little time to exercise.
It’s totally different from showing up to an ESPN studio and randomly blurting out whatever crosses your mind. As a sports media grinder, my random blurting has to be well-constructed and unassailable. I can’t speak for radio people, because I don’t listen to them, but it’s a grind and not the healthiest one. I got one of those standing desks to try to help out. I’m making an effort, Pat, don’t be mean to me.
As far as being a basement dweller, that’s simply not true. I used to have a man-cave down there, but repeated basement floods forced me out, and my man-cave is now just a memory. We’ve fixed the flooding problem, but I can’t afford to rebuild the man-cave, so I’m not a basement dweller at all. Although I would be if I could. This is just a fabrication from McAfee’s clearly ego-warped mind.
As far as being a “lazy bum”, that’s basically correct. Got to give him that one.
But I wish he would stop being mean to guys like me. We’re sensitive, and we’re people too. Even if we don’t sell out to gigantic evil media conglomerates like ESPN or CBS. But not CBS.
Have a good one! GO BROWNS!
OBR GOODIES
OBR ARTICLES
Dont Assume Cleveland Browns can get KC Concepcion with 24th Pick – Pete
Cleveland Browns Film Room: Why Carson Schwesinger Deserves Defensive Rookie of the Year – Sam
Cleveland Browns News and Rumors 1/22/26: Thanks for Screwing Things Up, Buffalo – Barry
FROM THE FORUMS
What was the point in leaking Minter backed out?
Follow up to Did Kevin Want out …
Rooney Rule interview question
HaslamBrowns perception in the league?
What exactly was Berry’s strategy here?
Schwartz – Time with Vrabel in Tennessee
Minter declined interview today
Effect of coaching hire delay for draft and FA researchplanning
Is Dan Pitcher going to be in the mix for the OC position?
Follow-Up: KS self-advocacy (Lane)
Yes, the Rooney Rule strategy discussion
Insiders… Questions concerning coaches and Organization
Could monken be OC for one of the young guys ?
Ruiter: The reason Browns arent compliant with the Rooney Rule
Rumor- Browns attempting to trade for Aiyuk
What do you hope the end result of the HC search will be?
LiveWire Thread for 122 – Twitter, Video, Articles
THE LIFT
Positive news from the world of sports and beyond…
Incredible Results from 20 Years of Cancer Research Boost National Survival Rates to 7 in 10 – (goodnewsnetwork.org)
Science works, and medical science works particularly well. Sorry if you’re anti-science, but I love science. The results are at the link above – 70% survival rate. We’ve come a long way.
WRAPPING UP
When not randomly blurting out things, Barry McBride is the Publisher and Founder of the OBR and bloviates this nonsense every morning. You can follow him on Twitter @barrymcbride or write him at barry@theobr.com if you are so compelled.
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