“Being a Browns fan is watching a horrible movie that you’ve already seen 50 times, because you hold onto the hope the studio filmed an alternate ending.” — Todd B.
“Like trying to recover from a hangover and stepping on your kids’ Lego blocks.” — Tom P.
“Imagine you’re a carpenter by trade. Every day, you go to work and swing a hammer, and 95 percent of the time, you hit your thumb.” — Dave T.
“It’s like being the kid in school who never gets invited to the cool party. Every year, you tell yourself, ‘This is the year it finally happens.’ You change your look, style and taste in music. Read books on how to make friends, learn some jokes, etc. Nothing works.
“You used to be invited all the time, before your school was unceremoniously moved to Baltimore and you had to attend the new school rebuilt on a bad foundation. But now you’re stuck there, and you’ve gone through 42 wingmen.
“But hey, this year is absolutely THE YEAR.” — Corey E.