CLEVELAND, Ohio (TheOBR.com) Good morning, Cleveland Browns fans!
THE DAILY BLOVIATION
As noted in the comment section of Monday’s Massive Morning Missive, we’re at the point in the Summer where everyone has run out of things to talk about, and any news that comes out of Berea would probably be of the off-field bad type that we abhor and have gotten inured to over the years. So far, none of that (knocks on wood), but there’s still a lot of quarterback yapping on and other speculation, generally signifying nothing.
As for the Daily Newswire, I’ve gone over most of the off-topic stuff that you fine readers can likely tolerate, including yesterday’s AI spiel, so I’m going to stare at this white space until some sort of idea hits me.
(Stares)
(Sips coffee)
(Blinks)
(Sudden inspiration, points finger in the air as conviction rolls in)
Hey! How about a this-and-that column pulled from the latest crapola passing for content here on the interwebs?! Everyone loves that. It beats doing adult stuff.
Are you as excited as I am? Let’s do it!
THIS: The NFL is doing this “Top 100” NFL Player thing to fill the time and create some faux meaningless controversy to create engagement during the yearly dead zone, and they may have succeeded by naming Lamar Jackson just the 69th best player in the NFL. He was #2 last year. That’s quite a tumble, and since this list is based on voting from players, it would likely mean a sudden drop-off in respect for the Ratbird quarterback.
Look, I hate me some Ratbirds, but this sudden tumble makes the mind boggle a bit. Jackson is still a weapon, and while he could be downgraded due to his lack of playoff success, Jackson is still a player who must be accounted for on every snap. On the other hand, he missed four games, and when he did play, he was held to under 200 yards per game passing. The Rats still were contenders, and this rating must be some sort of private thing between other NFL players and the Baltimore standout. I would take Jackson on the Browns in a heartbeat.
THAT: I would like to congratulate one of the local radio stations for joining us in 2023 by concluding that there might be a negative impact on Browns fan enthusiasm if Deshaun Watson is named starter. This has been the case for years, but now is intrinsically more so due to the fact that Watson has been proven ineffective as a starter multiple times. I, frankly, have never met anyone without a media credential or Browns employee badge who is in any way enthusiastic about Watson. Have you? Xitter doesn’t count, because people on there will be contrary just to create meaningless ripples in a pond. I have yet to meet anyone excited about this idea.
THIS: Chris Russo is supposedly hosting a talk show focusing on sports, but yesterday he was so low on sports news to talk about that he started ranking Presidents. Of the country, not the Professional Bowlers Association. This is as non-sports as you can get. I have no idea how he ranked them all, and am so extremely confident that literally no one cares, and am willing to lead some sort of spontaneous parade to that effect. Did I mention that I tried out for drum major in high school? I didn’t make it, partially because I was too uncoordinated to hold a baton, so I played drums all year and chased girls rather than leading a marching band. In retrospect, losing out on that gig was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. Doing a This-and-That column with ludicrous 50-year-old tangents seems a small transgression compared to what Russo did, is what I’m saying.
THAT: From the Netflix series “Quarterback”, came a clip of Joe Flacco mocking Shedeur Sanders last year for wearing a visor, which Flacco apparently thought was a silly image-related thing to do. If you’re a rookie and around Joe Flacco and wearing a visor, you’re gonna get mocked, is the only conclusion one can reach. Then again, Flacco is dangerously close to my age, which means he’s dangerously close to being dismissed as a doddering loon. But we still have 2023, don’t we?
THIS: The Cleveland Browns were given atrociously low odds of making the playoffs by an ex-Football Outsiders analyst. Fred and the Channel 19 crew were not amused by this, given the fact that the division was so weak. Just 6% odds to make the playoffs? Look, the NFL regular season is when weird stuff happens, and the Browns somehow getting it together to make the playoffs would certainly be weird, but perhaps not the weirdest NFL thing to ever happen.
THAT: The Browns got a steal in free agency last year by landing Maliek Collins, who had a career year. But this year, Collins is still mending from a late-season quad injury, and his ability to return early in camp is looking dubious. And a bit mysterious. We’ll find out more soon, but the only upside I can see is potentially more reps for Mike Hall Jr., in what is increasingly looking like a make-or-break year for him.
THIS: I encountered a headline this morning that said this: Cowboys’ Jerry Jones Booed on Video by Dallas Stadium Fans at France vs. Spain World Cup Match. I’m not too sure what to make of this, but I like it, as I am a huge Jones anti-fan. My head is nodding like Jack Nicholson in “The Departed”.
Have a good one! GO BROWNS!
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THE LIFT
Positive news from the world of sports and beyond…
My coffee habit is well-documented on these pages, and registers at absurd levels. Now it turns that coffee is associated with lower risks of liver cancer and cirrhosis. This means that my diet is well-balanced between liver-enhancing and liver-damaging liquids, so everything is probably fine. Probably. A doctor could opine, but that’s not really necessary because I read it on the internet. Everything’s fine.
WRAPPING UP
When not trying to decide whether July quarterback discourse, playoff odds, Netflix visor analysis, and coffee research are technically one story or several different symptoms, Barry McBride is the Publisher and Founder of the OBR and bloviates this nonsense every morning. You can follow him on Twitter @barrymcbride or write him at barry@theobr.com if you are so compelled.
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