How’d these two venerable teams fare last season? Well, Illinois had a banger of a season (they’re contractually obligated to have one of these every 25 years to keep the fans around). Bert’s Boys went 9-3 overall, 6-3 in conference, and tacked on a win in the Cheez-it Citrus Bowl over South Carolina and an apoplectic Shane Beamer.

Highlights include a fantastic win over Michigan on the 100th anniversary of The Red Grange Game, a dramatic OT victory over Nebraska in Lincoln, and one of the more unlikely victories I’ve ever experienced against Rutgers.

Lowlights: Barely sneaking past Purdue in a truly baffling game, getting whooped by Oregon in Autzen, and whatever the Minnesota loss was.

On to Northwestern! I’ll include MNW’s analysis here:

“Eh. Lost to Duke again. Got FUNF’d at Washington. Turned out Indiana was good. Lost to the worst wisconsin in decades. Uncompetitive in the rest.

Wins over Miami*, Eastern Illinois, Maryland (lol), Purdue (lol). That brings us to 4-8 (2-7).
* No further questions.”

Alright, time for prognostication, speculation, and looking like goddang fools in hindsight.

Predictions and Rampant Speculation from the Land of Lincoln Writers

AO: I’ll lead this thing off by noting the elephant in the room (no, not Bert’s belly): Illinois almost never follows up a good season with a good season. The Fighting Illini do not build upon success; it exists solely to kick fans in the nether region the following year. That said, we are returning a lot of talent from the previous year. I think a modest 7-5 is reasonable, with wins over Occidental Illinois and Occidental Michigan, Purdue, Washington, Rutgers, and Northwestern. My dream would be to throw in potential wins over Duke and at Camp Randall, but let’s not get greedy.

For the unhomed Wildkitties? I’ll be generous and give them a gentleperson’s 5-7. Wins over Tulane in New Orleans (in which MNW has just a few hurricanes and/or Abitas), Western Illinois, ULM, Purdue, and Minnesota.

HWAHSQB: I’m very torn when I think about this season for Illinois. We return our starting QB, top 2 RBs, the entire starting O-Line and the entire secondary. Teams coming off 10 win seasons with the 3rd most returning production in the country should be really good. The coaching staff is largely intact as well. The schedule is 2024 Hoosiers level of Charminy softness. There is absolutely no reason to think that Illinois won’t win 7-15 games this coming year.

Except for the fact that we’re Illinois. the last 34 years of rarely gaining success and when we do, it is fleeting. The last time we followed up a winning season with another winning season was….actually, screw all that.

You know what Lucy?!? Put that football down because this time will be different!!! We’re going to kick that thing straight through the goalposts this year. Our Lord and Savior, Bert, will unbreak these bonds of disappointment! Illinois is going to turn things up to 11 this year, as in 11 wins!

Oh, and I have no idea what NU will do and I don’t really care either way.

MNW: I noted in our Northwestern Cocktail Party Preview that the ‘Cats could be markedly better and still have a bad record—it’s a rough schedule.

Tulane’s an interesting one. The Green Wave lost their starting QB (to Duke), starting RB (to Oregon), three top wide receivers, and tight end—all to the transfer portal. They’ve got Western Kentucky’s TJ Finley to throw it around a bunch—which the Hilltoppers sure loved to do—and a pair of skill position players from Lhvl. Tulane was vulnerable on the ground, but Northwestern’s dealing with just as much transfer portal turnover. Maybe you can lean the ‘Cats here, but then I’ve never operated the music system at Ryan Field.

Otherwise: it’s two wins in the non-conference (WIU and ULM), and…well, praying for wins elsewhere. Unfortunately, since Northwestern is now something like 0-10 at Wrigley Field, a potential win (Minnesota) is officially a loss, leaving Purdue an “I hope so” game and…well, UCLA, at Nebraska, and at Illinois as ones to watch.

That’s not good.

4-8 (2-7) sounds right to me, though perhaps 5-7 (2-7) if the ‘Cats catch Tulane waiting to gel. A bowl game should be the goal for David Braun to earn the shot to coach in New Ryan Field. As to whether he gets that chance? Well.

OTE’s Thoughts on Illinois and Northwestern

So now we turn to our “writers.” How do you see the Illinois season shaking out this year?

BoilerUp89: Why are both teams playing the Leathernecks? Let’s make some predictions.

Illinois goes 11-1 losing the Cannon in an absolute disaster of a game that takes place during a monsoon. They use that stunning loss to propel themselves to freeing Illibuck before coasting the rest of the season.

I’ll go 4-8 for the cats with the potential for things to go really off the rails by November. I don’t see a plausible win after Purdue and that’s not a gimme considering they struggled with last year’s trash crash in slow motion.