FRISCO — As Cowboys head coach Brian Schottenheimer noted Wednesday, there is no playbook for the situation he finds himself in. There’s no page in the coaching manual that cites, step-by-step, how to move forward after a player dies by suicide during the middle of the season, as Cowboys defensive end Marshawn Kneeland did last Thursday.
There are simply steps taken, collectively, and lessons learned. Take one lesson Schottenheimer has learned in the wake of Kneeland’s death, as an example. You know the question, Schottenheimer pointed out, in passing that so many of us use to strangers and loved ones alike: Hey, how are you doing? Schottenheimer said he learned, from speaking with mental health professionals this week, that there’s a better question to ask.
“It’s, ‘What are you feeling?’” Schottenheimer shared. “That was pretty powerful.”
In the wake of a teammate’s death, those feelings and emotions can vary, both in frequency and potency. What people need during that grieving process can vary, too, and as the Cowboys attempt to move forward with the remaining eight games of their season — starting Monday in Las Vegas — they’re making it known that it’s OK for people to feel what they feel, when they feel it, and how they feel it.
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Two of their best leaders are exemplifying that.
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Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott and defensive end Solomon Thomas have felt the impact of suicide close to home. Prescott’s brother, Jace, died in 2020 by suicide. Thomas’ sister, Ella, died from suicide in 2018.
“Those are two of the best leaders in the league, in my opinion. We’re fortunate to have them. Unfortunately, they’re able to talk about something that has been very devastating for them in their past,” Schottenheimer said on Wednesday.
Their experience has given them firsthand knowledge of how they, individually, approach dealing with a grieving process like this one. There are differences between how they do it.
Prescott is the team’s unequivocal leader. He’s normally the one breaking down the team with a speech before every game. If something needs to be said, he’s usually the one doing it.
“But I’ll be the first to say, I may be the champion of speaking up, but I’m not necessarily the champion of dealing with grief,” he said Thursday. “I guess you can say, I can say I’m a champion of moving forward and past it and using it as your source of strength.”
Prescott has done that by not speaking to the team, he said. Instead, he’s tried to be there for his teammates.
“I just know the best thing that’s helped me out is that when people are just there for me,” Prescott said, speaking from unfortunate experience. “When they’re there for me in silence, just feeling their presence, feeling their love and showing me what it looks like to how to move from one day to the next, doing better and trying to carry on a legacy. So for me, a lot of these guys, I hope everybody in this organization understands or knows my losses, just hopefully somebody can look at me and understand and see what I’ve been through and there is brighter days and better days. You can get through this and you’ll get through it and be stronger because of it. I want to be an example of that to my teammates.”
Thomas did speak at a private candlelight vigil for players, staff members and families earlier this week. Speaking on Thursday to reporters, he even acknowledged that he’s only known Kneeland for this season.
“To feel like, am I deserving of speaking? I just tried to sum up what Marshawn meant to me,” Thomas said. “I tried to sum up what he meant to this team, what he meant to this world.”
Dallas Cowboys defensive tackle Solomon Thomas (90) speaks to the press about Marshawn Kneeland during player availability at The Star in Frisco on Thursday, Nov. 13, 2025. Kneeland, a defensive end who scored his first NFL touchdown on special teams on November 3, died last week from a self-inflicted gunshot wound at 24 years old.
Juan Figueroa / Staff Photographer
Therein also lies some advice that Thomas had for his teammates as they move forward.
“The only way I know how to get out of it, to move forward from a tragic situation like this, is to live for that person, take the amazing qualities that you learned from them, take the smiles and memories that you get from him, and apply them to your life every day,” Thomas said. “Live for that person. Talk to their spirit. Hold their spirit with you every day. The only way I truly believe you can let someone die is not living with their spirit, not saying their name, not talking to them, not loving them, not feeling the grief. Because grief is pain. But grief is also love.”
Thomas encouraged his teammates to feel that grief, in whatever fashion it takes. Prescott did, too. And while everyone on the team will deal with their grief differently, they both wanted it known that they won’t be doing it alone.
“The first thing I’m telling guys is to honor themselves throughout this process [and] don’t try to run away from the grief,” Thomas said. “Because the moment you try and run away from it, the bigger it gets, and the more that will affect your performance. If you have to cry, cry. I’ll hold you up. If you have to go outside during meetings, walk around, call your mom, do that. That’s what’s important right now: feel that grief, feel that pain. Cry, be angry, be confused, because that’s what’s real. It’s not real to run away from your grief.”
Said Prescott: “I don’t know what I’d do — I don’t know what these guys would do without having a team like this.”
Twitter/X: @JoeJHoyt
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If we could all talk openly about our fears, maybe the number of suicides could be reduced.