The offseason has been long, and luckily, it’s almost over. Don’t worry, real hockey stuff is right around the corner, we promise.

But, it’s Friday, so we’re going to have a little fun today.

(Credit: Alex “The Intern” Norwood)

McNabb – Empty – Hill

Both are listed at 6’4″. Planes can get uncomfortable for the average person, never mind two hockey players the size of James P. Sullivan. If those two monsters can’t get comfortable, your ten-hour flight will feel like a lifetime.

Empty – Cassidy – Stevens

Yeah, it’s great you’ve got an aisle seat, but the coaching staff will think you’re sitting in their row to break down film. Good luck getting any sleep listening to Cassidy complain to Stevens about how unsatisfied he was after a 3-1-1 road trip. And don’t even think about binge-watching Quantum Leap or even reading your favorite periodical. If you are awake in that row, you should be studying your next opponent.

Stone – Empty – Empty

It’s well-documented how competitive Captain Mark Stone is, which could be why there are two empty seats. Let’s say a game of Uno breaks out, or maybe even a high-stakes game of chance. You could try and grind him out, but you’re not matching his buy-ins. Stone’s pocket change likely dwarfs your CashApp account. Oh, and I’m guessing the captain stretches out, takes up two seats, and uses both food trays.

Empty – Eichel – Marner

Wow, you’re sitting next to two of the NHL’s most dynamic playmakers. However, let’s say there’s a Rubik’s Cube being passed around. Or Simon. Or maybe even a BopIt. Chances are those items would unlikely be in your possession all flight. There’s just not enough to pass around for the three of you. Let’s be honest, you’re only there to pick up whatever they drop on the floor.

Karlsson – Empty – Smith

Reilly Smith has been on hundreds of flights over his career, and he’s flown with William Karlsson for many of them. This is why the standup enthusiast sits near the window and not next to his linemate. Being from Sweden, Karlsson loves his native cuisine. Smith has fallen victim to the foul odors coming from Karlsson’s dinner plate before, and he’s wised up. It could be anything from fermented Baltic herring to tropisk pizza. Try and enjoy your in-flight meal sitting next to the satisfied Scandinavian center.

Hertl – Hutton – Empty

Now this seems like a good choice. The two players who always have smiles on their face are in the same row. Sounds like a blast. Maybe, too much of a blast. It’ll be difficult getting some peace and quiet with the two comics laughing it up, sharing jokes, and quoting Happy Gilmore 2.  And of course, Hutton will likely be belting out some silly karaoke songs. Imagine listening to ‘I’m a Barbie Girl in a Barbie world’ for ten long hours.