An NHL scout, heading for the Little Caesars Arena exit following the Detroit Red Wings’ season opener, offered an appropriate critique.

“Seen this movie before,” he said.

Haven’t we all?

There were so many parallels to past failures, it almost felt like a parody.

Except no one is laughing, because the Red Wings remain an NHL laughingstock.

A 5-1 season-opening loss to the Montreal Canadiens hit on all the lowlights that have become customary norms during a Red Wings season.

A year ago, the Wings opened at home against the Pittsburgh Penguins. The Pens had lost handily the night before. They were playing their backup goalie in the second game of back-to-backs.

And they whipped the Red Wings 6-3, chasing Detroit starting netminder Ville Husso in the process.

The Habs had lost handily the night before. They were playing their backup goalie in the second game of back-to-backs.

And they whipped the Red Wings, chasing Detroit starting netminder John Gibson in the process..

It was deja vu all over again.

Red Wings Chaos Theory

“We got out there and it was chaotic,” Red Wings captain Dylan Larkin said. “A lot of the chaos was self-inflicted.

“It was a strange, strange game, and we just really just did not help ourselves at all out there.”

Detroit scored on the power play, but the offense was invisible in five-on-five play. The Wings’ penalty kill surrendered a goal. Detroit allowed a goal in the dying seconds of a period.

They gave up an endless supply of odd-man rushes.

Eh bin, comme hier!

If you’re Kappy and you know it clap your hands#GoHabsGo pic.twitter.com/BbzNtVdotV

— Canadiens Montréal (@CanadiensMTL) October 9, 2025

“You take that 10-minute period from the time they scored their first goal to the end of the first period,” Red Wings coach Todd McLellan said. “I’m guessing there have to be, probably six legitimate outnumbered rushes (by Montreal).”

Evidently, familiarity does breed contempt.

McLellan lamented his club’s inability to play simple, fundamental hockey. Things that they teach you in youth hockey that apparently the Red Wings still haven’t learned.

Will Red Wings Ever Learn?

“Our game management,” McLellan said. “You’re going to hear that all year from me because clearly it’s still a huge issue.”

Sounding like the Black Knight in Mony Python and the Holy Grail, trying to convince you that his mortal injuries were merely flesh wounds, Larkin had this to say:

“I do believe it’s all fixable,” the captain stated.

It brought to mind Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, looking over the damage they’d inflicted while wrecking his buddy’s brother’s car, and insisting, “I can fix it.”

Spoiler alert: He did not fix it.

McLellan appeared to view Larkin’s proclamation as holding a similar level of believability.

“The players will say – they probably have already said to you that, you know what, we can fix this,” McLellan said. “When? It’s time.

“Some of them have been doing it for years. It’s time.”